Episode 29: Major League

Major League (1989) Just a bit outside...

This week, the guys head to Cleveland to revisit one of the most quotable sports comedies ever made: Major League. When a new owner assembles a roster of misfits, has-beens, and never-weres in hopes of tanking the season and moving the team to Miami, she accidentally creates one of cinema's greatest underdog stories.

We break down the movie's unforgettable cast of characters, debate whether it's really a baseball movie or just a workplace comedy in cleats. Along the way, we talk about the film's legacy, its endlessly quotable dialogue, and a few aspects that haven't aged quite as gracefully.

Plus, we build the most ridiculous baseball roster imaginable using characters from every movie we've covered on the show. The results are... something.

In This Episode

• ⚾ Box office and critical reception
• 🎬 Behind-the-scenes trivia and the making of Major League
• 👓 Character and cast breakdowns
• 🪄 Magic Wand: One thing we'd change
• 🧢 Movie League Baseball: Building a baseball team from movie characters
• ☠️ Pick Your Poison
• 🏆 Boddicker Award
• 🍺 Final beer ratings

So grab a beer, sacrifice a cigar to Jobu if that's your thing, and join us as we find out whether Major League still knocks it out of the park nearly four decades later.

Have thoughts on Major League?

⚾ Is it the greatest baseball comedy ever made?

🥎 Does it deserve a spot on the Mount Rushmore of sports movies?

🏆 And who gets your Boddicker Award?

Let us know on social media, and don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and join us next time for another trip back to the movies that made us.

Listen to The Regular Guy Movie Show wherever you get your podcasts, and visit regularguymovieshow.com to suggest the next questionable classic we take on. While there, check out our blog or listen to previous show episodes.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

A washed up catcher, a convict with a hundred mile an hour fastball, and a baseball team that wasn't supposed to win anything. What if your owner wanted you to lose? What if the only thing holding a team together was spite and just enough talent to make everyone regret overlooking them? And what if a group of cast-offs, hasbens and never weres decide the best way to get even was to win the whole fucking thing? This is Major League, and we'll get into it on this episode of the Regular Guy Movie Show.

SPEAKER_14 0:43

Lights go down. Let's just play. Regular guys got something to say. The regular guy movie show talking.

SPEAKER_04 0:59

Welcome back to the Regular Guy Movie Show, where three grown-ass men revisit the movies that shaped our youth, convinced us that glasses can instantly turn you into an ace pitcher, and taught us that sometimes the greatest workplace motivational tool is a cardboard cutout of your bust and progressively fewer articles of clothing. I'm set that joining me as always are two guys I'd absolutely want in my clubhouse, Justin and Brian. Gentlemen, did you remember your Vaseline and Vagicil?

SPEAKER_05 1:31

Let's give them all a nice big shit burger to eat. Nice, nice. And you know when the umps are watching me close, I just put a little jalapeno up my nose.

SPEAKER_04 1:43

You put snot on the ball. Well, before we make our offerings to Joe Boo, let's take a moment and talk about what we're drinking tonight.

SPEAKER_05 1:55

You know, that has become one of my favorite songs. What a great song to hear on a Friday.

SPEAKER_04 2:02

Heck yeah. Happy Friday, gents. We are starting things off with a pick of Justin's Summer Ale.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

The Boston Beer Company. Yeah. The Summer Ale. So, um I was walking around the local grocery store. I didn't make it up to Fire Ducks today. Trying to pick something that uh related to the movie whatsoever, and I landed on the summer ale because baseball is primarily played in the summer. And the boys of summer! That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_05 2:32

So it ties in. It does. And I have to say, I'm really enjoying this drink. It's a great beer.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

You know what it is? I don't think I've ever like I've had like the Boston Auger. Uh we've had uh the Octoberfest. Octoberfest. This is our go-to Oktoberfest. A great Oktoberfest. Super solid. I have not had the summer ale before. And what do you think? It's pretty darn tasty. This is a citrus wheat ale. It is.

SPEAKER_04 2:56

Which is a little bit on the the the multier, lighter side than what we usually drink. Maybe not used so much, Brian.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

It's not a joke to the nine.

SPEAKER_04 3:04

It's not a hazy APA. But I get the citrus notes come through. I mean it's very lemony, but it's not as citrusy as like a blue moon. No, it's not. It's in a wit, right? Uh but but i yeah, it's got some citrusy to it. It's still got that kind of weedy, smooth, malty mouthfeel, and it drinks really easy.

SPEAKER_03 3:23

Yeah, and at 5.3% alcohol, I should have brought in the other, like the full sick pack. Yeah, we should have done that. I do gotta drive home later, so let's let's let's put a pin in that.

SPEAKER_05 3:33

You know, depending on our other choices, we may circle back for the last uh the last three. That is true. We never know. We're not gonna leave anybody behind.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

No soldiers.

SPEAKER_04 3:42

If not tonight, we will get to them at some point.

SPEAKER_05 3:45

Or definitely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 3:48

Well, we are talking about the movie Major League on this episode. Gentlemen, what what was your earliest memories of watching Major League?

SPEAKER_05 3:58

I saw Major League. This is the spring it came out. Yeah. In the movie theater. Yeah. Yeah. My my parents were originally from the Cleveland area. Okay. My my dad's a grew up an Indians fan. So this was uh I I was really surprised my parents took me to see an R-rated movie. Okay. But uh Yeah, I was uh I think eighth grade. All right, all right. Yeah, so I saw it there in the theater.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

So when this came out, I was seven. And I don't think this is one that my parents would have taken me to the theater for, nor had sat me down and watched at the house. Uh so I think this is another one of those movies that I I've seen over the years in bits and pieces, but I will, for the sake of the podcast, say I saw this movie for the first time all the way through yesterday. Nice.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

Now I did not see this in the theater, but I remember going to the movies and seeing the previews, the trailer for for Major League. Um, saw it, I don't I don't remember if we rented this because it just doesn't seem like a movie my parents would have been into. Uh-huh. But I did watch it many times on cable. It made the tours on, I'm sure TNT, TBS, Comedy Central. Yeah. All probably showed it at different times. Yep. And so I don't even know how many times I've watched it in full and also just in chunks here and there. But hadn't watched it in a number of years. And um I'm glad we I picked this movie for us to watch because you know, I wanted to see, I've started, I don't know why. I've had this kind of inkling in my mind about a few things about this movie, wondering, does that really hold up? And so I wanted to to have the chance to to watch it in total one more time and make that determination whether it holds up or not.

SPEAKER_05 5:48

Okay. I like it. I I think this is a great pick. Now, I've seen this movie a lot. Yeah. It's one of my wife's favorite movies. Well, you're also a a pretty pretty big baseball family. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, it's on in the background a lot. You know, cleaning the house on a Sunday or something. It's just it's on a lot. It's one of those that if it's on TV, it's on your TV. And what's cool about it, it is it's supremely quotable. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 6:14

Definitely. I gotta ask not you so much, Justin, because I don't think you'll have any thoughts on this. But Brian. Was this the biggest baseball movie of your youth?

SPEAKER_05 6:25

Yes. Yeah? It was. For for different reasons. Um and I'll get to that later. But uh yeah, this was the baseball movie I grew up with.

SPEAKER_04 6:34

Because I mean I can think of the times that we were growing up. That there were there's really to me the big three. Maybe four. Um Major League, Sanlot, Sanlot, Field of Dreams, and Bull Durham.

SPEAKER_05 6:49

Yeah, maybe not Bull Durham so much as me growing up because that was pretty adult-y. Yeah. Um each of them had their appeal.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

You know, Major League was like the comedy, Sandlot was the nostalgia, Field of Dreams was almost fantasy, and Bull Durham was like the adult version.

SPEAKER_05 7:06

Right, right. I'd also throw in maybe the natural. I I could see the natural as well. Um and then later, you know, you had uh, you know, the Tom Hanks, Georgia Peaches, yeah, um League of The Own. League of their own. Yeah. And in the interim, there were, you know, Angels in the Outfield, the rookie. Um there were a lot of baseball movies, but I I kind of think Major League started the trend of, hey, we've got some marketable movies about baseball. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:35

I I think also of all the ones we've talked about, Major League is the one that really put the most focus on the Major League player experience.

unknown 7:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:45

The rest of them is they're they're almost tall tales.

SPEAKER_05 7:47

They are. And this movie was more about baseball with characters than characters who played baseball.

SPEAKER_04 7:54

Yeah, big time. See, I would I think it's almost the opposite. I feel like you could say this was just a workplace comedy that just happened to take place in a baseball field.

SPEAKER_05 8:04

I I could see that too.

SPEAKER_04 8:05

I could see that too. Well, for those of you who have no idea what we're talking about, why don't we take a moment and enjoy a little story time with Brian?

SPEAKER_22 8:16

Tell us a story.

SPEAKER_05 8:18

Okay, Major League came out in 1989 and it was rated R. In a forgotten city. Beside the shores of a great lake stood an aging stadium where hope had long since packed its bags, where the banners overhead had faded from years of disappointment. The fans wanted to visit, not because they believed, but because they remembered what believing once felt like. Then came a new queen, or owner, whose heart covered coveted not glory, but escape. She expected her ragtag team to fail. Every stumble would bring her closer to abandoning her Cleveland kingdom forever. But legendary tales had little regard for careful plans. As the season progressed, strangers became brothers, pride awakened, laughter echoed, and victories, small at first, began to gather like stars in the sky. Soon the people who had forgotten how to cheer found themselves believing again. For in every forgotten kingdom there waits a band of unlikely heroes. And sometimes the greatest legends begin with a team everyone expected to lose. Yeah, that's a good one. Damn bad. How did this do in the box office, Brian? Okay, so a real modest production uh cost. The production budget was approximately $11 million. And uh its North American gross was right at about $50 million. So not bad. It made about four and a half times its budget, which, you know, if you make twice your budget, that's a that's a hit. Yeah, absolutely. So this uh and that's not even counting, you know, the the cable revenue, the home video revenue, the merchandise revenue, the soundtrack revenue. None of that was counted in these numbers. So yeah, it was a bona fide hit.

SPEAKER_04 10:18

Well, this is not our first movie from 1989 that we've talked about. Right. Um so but but Major League finished in 26th that year. Uh, and and just a refresher, if you don't remember our discussion from the Burbs episode, some of the other movies that came out that year included Batman, Indiana Jones, and The Last Crusade, Lethal Weapon 2, Look Who's Talking, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Ghostbusters 2, Back to the Future Part 2, Dead Poet Society, Parenthood, and Turner and Hooch. Man.

SPEAKER_05 10:49

That's a heck of a year for movies. No doubt. Yeah, and and when this movie was released, it was released along the same time as Pet Cemetery, Lean on Me, uh, The Dream Team, and The Accidental Tourist. They were all in the theaters at the same time.

SPEAKER_03 11:02

I know a couple of those.

SPEAKER_05 11:03

Yeah, I think I've seen all of those. But what what really kind of hit home was, and this was a smart move, they released it in spring, right? Right before the season. There you go. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So all those people waited a long winter, all those baseball fans, right? They got a little uh they got a movie of their own here. A little baseball fever. Heck yeah. I got the fever.

SPEAKER_04 11:24

The only uh prescription.

SPEAKER_03 11:27

More cowbell.

SPEAKER_04 11:28

Or baseball movies.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

Oh, that too.

SPEAKER_05 11:30

I was gonna say more fastballs.

unknown 11:31

More fastballs.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

Well, how was this movie received, Justin? Uh, so Rotten Tomatoes has a certified fresh score of 83% based on 41 reviews from critics, and a popcorn meter of 84% based on over 50,000 viewer ratings. So they they aligned pretty close. They sure did. Yeah, solid B. Absolutely. So a couple of my favorite. Yeah, let's do it. Couple of my favorites here. From 2024, we had one that said over 35 years after its release, the hysterical major league remains one of the best baseball movies ever made.

SPEAKER_05 12:10

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 12:11

Not too shabby, that's a pretty good critique. 2013. It has its moments, but it also has long, slow stretches where you feel like standing up and wandering around and maybe going out to hunt up a beer. That's fine for baseball, but not the way movies are supposed to work. Okay. So I kind of related to that one a little bit. Okay. The whole beer thing. We do a beer rating podcast. We do a beer rating. Right. So yeah, I uh it landed a bit. But yeah, I thought that was pretty interesting. That, you know, 83 from critics, 84 from uh from viewers, and yeah, that's that's it's pretty rare that they align so closely.

SPEAKER_05 12:53

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:53

That might be the closest one we've had.

SPEAKER_04 12:55

Right. Yeah. Well, this movie was written and directed by the same person.

SPEAKER_13 13:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 13:02

Uh David S. Ward. Ah, David S. Ward. Yeah, I know. He I know he's a good friend of yours. He is, yeah. Well, Ward he wrote it because he was a lifelong baseball fan and specifically a lifelong Cleveland Indians fan. I call him D-Dub. D-Dub?

SPEAKER_05 13:17

Mm-hmm. So so he's used to being disappointed.

SPEAKER_04 13:23

Pretty much because uh yeah, he he really wanted to capture the frustration of rooting for a perpetually disappointing franchise.

SPEAKER_05 13:30

You know, Cleveland has a history of bad baseball teams. Yeah. Yeah. The losingest team in baseball history was a Cleveland team called the Cleveland Spiders. Spiders. Yeah, I think they won a whole season and won like eight games. How long was the season? I don't know. Yeah. A lot more than eight games. Damn. But this was way, way back. Probably shouldn't name your team the spiders. No. No, so when when the Cleveland Indians rebranded to the Guardians, the Spiders was one of the choices. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Just because of the history and the nostalgia of the team, but not because of their winning record.

SPEAKER_04 14:06

I think they chose correctly with the rebrand. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah, this this was not uh D-Dub's D dub uh first hit. Uh he actually uh won um the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for the movie The Sting in 1973. The Sting was a great flick. I didn't see that one. Oh, you ought to.

SPEAKER_05 14:27

Could I?

SPEAKER_04 14:28

Yeah. His other writing credits are a little bit over the map. Um King Ralph. Didn't see that. Sleepless in Seattle? I didn't see that. And Flyboys. Didn't see that. Fly Boys from uh the book. Maybe. Yeah. Possibly. It sounds like that could be correct. He also wrote Major League 2. Uh directing-wise, uh, this was his second feature film as a director. Uh, in case you were curious, his very first film was Cannery Row in 1982. Um and despite limited directing experience, he managed to assemble a cast that really had a lot of chemistry, which is probably the movie's biggest strength.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Big time.

SPEAKER_04 15:08

Uh the other thing that's notable about the the making of the movie is that much while many of the scenes were Cleveland, a lot of this was shot in Milwaukee.

SPEAKER_05 15:19

Yeah, most uh most of the baseball stuff was in Milwaukee. Interesting. They they had an empty stadium up there. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 15:35

Um, even though at the time they were in the same division, and so they were shooting by the Cleveland Indians in a rival stadium.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

You know, it used to be called Miliwaukee. Miliwake, that's right. You know, I wish that I knew that it was shot in Milwaukee so I could get that whole thing down from Wayne's World where Alice Cooper talked about Miliwake. Because that would have been that would have been podcast gold, but I don't know the whole thing.

SPEAKER_04 16:01

I believe the translation is the good land.

SPEAKER_03 16:05

Does this say anyone a party or what?

SPEAKER_05 16:09

What's interesting, the the baseball that was played um were real baseball players. A lot of them. All the extras on the field. That was the University of Arizona baseball team and some minor and major league players. Oh, no kidding. The most famous major league player in the movie was the first baseman named Terry Francona.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

Really?

SPEAKER_05 16:26

Yeah. Is that the guy with a handlebar mustache?

SPEAKER_03 16:29

No. No. Oh, the not the Yankees guy? No, not the Yankees. Okay. No.

SPEAKER_04 16:34

So that mustache was epic. It was epic. But interestingly, I don't use that word lightly. You know my rules. Oh, I do. Book of a thousand pages, movie of four hours, or are featuring Kevin Costner. So the fact I'm using about his mustache means something. That was a mustache of a thousand pages.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

That mustache was bass.

SPEAKER_05 16:54

So Terry Francone at the time of the movie when it was shot, was a baseball player for the Cleveland Indians. And he returned to Cleveland. He was the manager in 2016 when the Indians went to the World Series. Yeah, he was their manager. Nice.

SPEAKER_23 17:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:10

So he played the first baseman in this movie for the Indians. Correct. Okay. Doesn't get a whole lot of screen time, but there's a few uh action shots where he's there. He's doing his thing.

SPEAKER_04 17:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

Nice. Very nice.

SPEAKER_04 17:21

Well, let's talk about who else was in this movie.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Justin, who you got? Oh, I got a big long list here, guys. Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. Let's go. All right. First up on my list is Jake Taylor, played by Tom Baringer.

SPEAKER_10 17:36

Is that you, Talbert? What?

SPEAKER_08 17:38

This is very funny, you know. I'm hungover.

SPEAKER_10 17:41

My knees are killing me, and if you're gonna pull this shit, at least you could have said you were from the Yankees. I'm hungover.

SPEAKER_03 17:48

Jake is an aging catcher whose best years are behind him, brought in as a veteran presence on a team designed to fail. He's also trying to win back the love of his ex-girlfriend.

SPEAKER_04 18:00

Mm-hmm. I'm just gonna be open here. I'm very split on this character. Are you on the baseball front, on the team front, his big brothery kind of role, his tutelage he provides to the younger guys, him taking Ricky and Wheelie under his wing without even batting an eye. A plus. Yeah, he was a captain without being named the captain. His love interest aspect of this of this character gives me the goddamn ick.

SPEAKER_05 18:30

I could see that. For sure. I kind of see him as a guy who's trying to fix his past wrongs. Uh-huh. And from what I gather in the film, his wrongs were really wrong.

SPEAKER_04 18:40

I don't think he was trying to change his past wrongs at all. I think he was just trying to pick up and hope she forgot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

I could see that. For sure. Like, and he was he was pretty creepy the way he just kind of found her all the time. And then he followed her or like showed up inside of her apartment.

SPEAKER_05 18:56

Oh, how about the scene in the scene in the restaurant?

SPEAKER_03 18:58

Like, does nobody lock their doors? Right.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

Like, holy cow. And we'll get into all of that. We will. But yeah, I mean, I I think that there was something about he played the opposite end of the spectrum of so many of the characters in this movie. He was really, you had a bunch of up and comers, upstarts, and a bunch of washed-up retreads. Yeah. He was on the retread scale, not end of the scale. And I thought he played it really well.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

He kind of surprised me in this role. Like I didn't expect this guy with the busted up knees and like, you know, the to start the movie, he was in a sombrero, drunk, and passed out into bed. I didn't expect him to kind of lead the team the way he did. It was it was pretty impressive, the way that he like even like the chicken scene, you know, would get to it for sure.

SPEAKER_05 19:46

But like he was like the team dad.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

He was the dad.

SPEAKER_05 19:49

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Now, yeah, but you know, he was playing in the the Mexican league when he got the call. And I think he knew it was his last chance. And he wanted to make the most of it. He did a good job. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:03

Now, Tom Berenger was probably the most known asset on this cast at this point. I I'd agree with that. Because he he had was coming off an o uh an Academy Award nomination for Platoon, and he really established a filmography of playing tough, rugged characters. Tell me about him. Well, he was uh in Sniper, Inception, Training Day, Um Gettysburg, The Big Chill. That one's not so gritty, but you know the uh the Hatfield McCoys. Yeah, yeah. He he was just you know, he just plays that kind of grisly guy with a thousand yard stare who will stab you sooner than he looks at you. The super serious guy. Yeah. So it must have been intensity.

SPEAKER_03 20:56

It must have been kind of weird then to see him like fantasize about you know the walk-off home run and you know, running the bases and you know that kind of thing. Whatever.

SPEAKER_05 21:06

Yeah, he showed some humanity when in his other roles he was less human and more killing machine. Yeah, right. I mean, heck, he was Lieutenant General James Longstreet. He was in Gettysburg. Longstreet. Not a whole lot of chuckles then.

SPEAKER_04 21:22

But there's some great soliloquies that Longstreet has in that movie. There are. Yeah. Many words.

SPEAKER_05 21:27

And marching. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:29

Lots of lots of marching in that movie. The misty fields, the fog rolling through the hills of Gettysburg.

SPEAKER_03 21:34

Yeah. Had it been a different movie, had his name been Short Street. Perhaps. Who else we got? Next up on my list is Ricky Wild Thing Vaughn, played by Charlie Sheen.

SPEAKER_08 21:49

Kiss my ass! You're gone! You're full of shit! Fuck you! Get out of here, Ricky! Why don't you blow me, um? You're gone!

SPEAKER_03 21:58

So Ricky's a hard Throwing rookie pitcher with a cannon for an arm and almost no control over where the ball is going. His journey from reckless wild card to reliable closer forms the heart of the team's turnaround.

SPEAKER_04 22:15

I think he's he's one of the more exciting characters of the movie.

SPEAKER_03 22:19

Yeah, I think so. He is. I think he also had a really good arc. Yeah. For a comedy movie, I thought he had a really good arc. A comedy ensemble cast movie, he had a really good arc.

SPEAKER_05 22:30

He had a good arc. Yeah. And you know what's interesting? We'll talk about this as we get to more characters. I think a lot of characters had a definable arc in this movie. I thought that was pretty neat.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

It was it was neat to see the progression.

SPEAKER_05 22:41

Yeah. Of all of them.

SPEAKER_04 22:43

Because all of them were really splitting screen time. None of them got that much. Right. For them all to get a growth arc was some combination of good acting, good writing that we don't get in every movie.

SPEAKER_05 22:56

I I agree with that. I think I think it was very well written. To be able to do that, boy, that's complex. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:02

Um there's, I think, one of the most definable moments for the movie, and I'll say one of the moments that that even today watching it gave me a bit of chills when when Vaughn comes out of the bullpen and wow thing plays, which is such a defining moment that's burned into just the zeitgeist of popular culture. Wasn't even planned. Oh, really? That was a post-production decision. An editor decided after getting so far in the movies, like, we kind of just coming out to really boring just rock music. It should be wild thing. And they stuck it in there and it became iconic. Now that almost didn't happen.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

That's that's awesome to know. I don't know this whatsoever, so I'm asking a genuine question. Like today's pitchers, when they come in, like closers and things like that, they all have music, they lower the lights, they have a light show, all that good stuff. Was that a thing before this movie?

SPEAKER_04 23:59

There was there was music being played when they'd come in.

SPEAKER_05 24:01

There was music. I I think I think before this, I mean, nowadays the players choose their music. Okay. You know, the hitters choose their walk-up songs, the the pitchers choose their warm-up songs. I don't know if it was a thing before that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:16

Yeah. I'm gonna have a lot of baseball questions. Oh, firewell.

SPEAKER_04 24:21

One of the most interesting jobs I ever had was game day production. I was actually the game day producer for the Peoria Chiefs, minor league baseball chief.

SPEAKER_05 24:30

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 24:31

And so um got to know players, got to know, you know, we we would be running, so I was overseeing like the the PA announcing, the the cameras, the replay, and all that stuff. But we'd also have to, you know, work with the players to get what their music is. And and we would have some players at the low A level would be like, if I get a hit on my first at bat, play keep playing this song. If I strike out, go to this song. If I strike out again, go to this song. Until I hit a hit, keep changing the songs. And it's like it put so much work on guys who are getting paid squat. Right.

SPEAKER_05 25:06

Right. It just goes to show the superstition of baseball. Exactly. Yeah. This was a fun story. So my my son got to play uh in his senior year, he got to play at Bush Stadium, uh, a high school game, and his head coach said you know, he was the closer. And the coach said, Nobody gets to walk out to an ACDC song unless they throw over 90. Ooh. And so you know, Evan came out to to a song, I don't even remember what it is, but but never came out to ACDC. Um, but during the year he his velocity increased. Yeah. And so John Ewett was running the running the board. Oh, no way. The U-Man? Yeah, the U-Man.

unknown 25:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 25:46

And the head coach had talked to John Ewitt. There might be people who have no idea who John Ewitt is. For sure. So because they're going to be able to do that. Well he's he's the the announcer for the Cardinals baseball games. He's also a local disc jockey.

SPEAKER_03 25:56

If you don't know, Google it.

SPEAKER_05 25:58

Yeah. And so Evan comes into the game and he comes out of the bullpen and the lights go down. Ooh. And Hell's Bells is comes out to the bells ringing. And so Evan's excited, you know, he's getting in the game and and he's he trots through the outfield and he gets about to the shortstop position and he recognizes the song. Oh, nice. And then he just slow walks the rest of the way so he can hear it.

SPEAKER_04 26:24

He probably have to, because my guess is he had a half chub about midway through.

SPEAKER_05 26:27

Oh, with that song going on, yeah. That was cool. So that was a fun little entrance song. Oh, not only that, but the you mentioned.

SPEAKER_04 26:34

Okay, so I know we are way off track here, but now I can ask. If you could pick one song for walkout music to go to the plate, what would it be?

SPEAKER_05 26:44

To go to the plate? So so a hitting a hitting walk-up song is gonna be short. Yeah. Because they're not gonna play a whole lot of it. I'm thinking the beginning of right now from Van Halen. You know, the piano one thing the piano plan. Okay, yeah. All right. Yeah, that's I think what I'm going with.

SPEAKER_03 27:01

Alright. Okay. Alright. I'm gonna go all the small things. Um I'm just kidding. I don't know. I would have to think real hard about that. See, uh, for you, I would pick Seven Nation Army. Oh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_04 27:18

Yeah, yeah, that is a good one.

SPEAKER_03 27:19

I like that. I think that suits you. I can see that. All right.

SPEAKER_04 27:29

I would go with the Aquabats super rad.

SPEAKER_06 27:34

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Ska that was nice, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

I could see you doing that. I'm my one man scorn horn section. Yeah, you are.

SPEAKER_05 27:50

I could see you doing that. I thought we were playing the CD. Really? I thought it was on the radio. I thought I thought it was coming over the speakers.

SPEAKER_04 27:57

I thought they were in the room.

SPEAKER_05 27:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:59

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 28:00

Uh anyway. Charlie Sheen was in this movie. He was Ricky, uh, Ricky Vaughn. He turned out. Charlie Sheen was Ricky Vaughn.

SPEAKER_05 28:06

This, I think, arguably the role that turned Sheen into a household name. He was on the rise.

SPEAKER_04 28:10

Yeah. He had uh been in Platoon, he'd been in Wall Street. Both were very well-known, well-received movies. Platoon with Tom Barringer. Yeah. Um other roles, though, you might know him from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, where he made his film debut. Uh it was also in Young Guns with his brother Emilio Esteves. Emilio! Uh Hot Shots. And Hot Shots! Pardieu. And a bunch of other stuff. Two and a half men. Two and a half men. Then he went crazy for a while, and then he did anger management. And I'm not sure what he's up to now, but other than making documentaries about how he went crazy.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

I would assume probably still a little crazy. Probably.

SPEAKER_05 28:49

Drugs take their toll, man.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

Cool cane is a hell of a drug.

SPEAKER_05 28:52

That they do. Interestingly enough, uh, he was a pitcher in high school. Yeah. So they didn't he worked with uh a pitching instructor to tidy things up, but he was party most most of the way there with uh the action sequences.

SPEAKER_03 29:05

I thought especially when they were in like slow-mo that he looked pretty natural. Yeah, he looked pretty much throwing the ball. You know. Uh who else we got? Next up, I have Roger Dorn played by Corbin Burnson.

SPEAKER_16 29:18

Year after this, I go free agent. Plus, my agent and I got a couple of plans for life after baseball.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

Good for you. Roger is a veteran third baseman who would rather avoid getting hurt than die for a ground ball. Beneath the selfish exterior, however, there's still a competitor hiding inside. I'm disappointed.

SPEAKER_04 29:42

Why? Why? I you asked me to review your notes, uh huh, and I added in another line, and apparently you must have copied and pasted after I did that. Oh, you said it was good, so I just had to what I had made. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 29:54

Yeah, because you said what did you have added?

SPEAKER_03 29:56

He said that there was a competitive hide uh or competitive read that last sentence. Uh Beneath the selfish exterior, however, there's still a competitor hiding inside. That player's name is Gary, and his family misses him very much. Yeah. You gave me the green light, and I had already pasted it into my notes earlier. I was gonna like any changes that you made, I was gonna like, I was gonna change my original. I I just I just forgot I had done that till this moment.

SPEAKER_05 30:30

I'm like, oh damn it. Ah, Gary. He was a he was a character at the beginning of the movie. I hate it. Oh, he's the most unlikable player on this team. But he also had quite a redemption story.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

He did. And I it was it was one of those where it was like, well, I know we're gonna get into it, but it it was almost like it's your buddy. You know what I mean? Like your buddy will punch you in the face and then hug you. Yeah. Well, and for good reason. I mean, he deserved that. He sure did. Yeah, absolutely. Even though we didn't know. We'll get into that.

SPEAKER_04 31:05

Now he was uh Corbin Burnson was a very well-known actor for fans of television. He was uh on LA Law. Uh, but really, as far as his movie work, Major Leagues and Major League 2, I think, are the only movies I'm really aware of. Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang. I don't think I've seen that.

SPEAKER_05 31:27

I've not. It's also called Boom Boom. Oh, that one!

SPEAKER_04 31:33

That's the one. Yeah, now I totally rings a bell basically that way.

SPEAKER_03 31:37

Yeah, I watched that a billion times. All right, let's let's pick up the pace. So here else we got. Next up, I got Willie Mays Hayes, played by Wesley Snipes.

SPEAKER_20 31:47

Excuse me. Gotta take my first step toward the Hall of Fame.

SPEAKER_03 31:51

Hell yeah, Willie. Willie's a lightning fast outfielder who talks as fast as he runs. After showing up to spring training without an invitation, he earns a roster spot through hustle, speed, and pure confidence.

SPEAKER_04 32:04

Did you notice that all of Willie May's running scenes where he is super fast or shot in slow motion?

SPEAKER_05 32:11

And why is that?

SPEAKER_04 32:12

Because Wesley Snipes is not that fast of a runner.

SPEAKER_05 32:15

That's right. He was so slow. In fact, an interview with the two guys during spring training when he beats them in the 40 yard, uh-huh, they were like, we were like less than jogging. I'm a slow boy. Apparently, Wesley Snipes has no quicks. But it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_03 32:32

It looks really cool. It looks good. It does. It looked convincing to me because I didn't know that and I just thought it was super fast.

SPEAKER_05 32:39

You know, as as a young, young, young actor in this movie, I thought he did a really good job.

SPEAKER_04 32:43

Well, this was his second major film role. His breakout came the previous year in the movie Colors. Mm-hmm with Robert Duvall and Sean Penn, uh, a gang war movie. Uh, and then uh, but Dan would become like one of the biggest action stars in the 90s. Yeah. When New Jack City, White Men Can't Jump, Demolition Man, and the Blade Trilogy, plus To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar, a movie about drag queens. Drag queens.

SPEAKER_05 33:08

Oh, and don't forget, always bet on black.

unknown 33:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 33:12

Passenger 57. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 33:14

I really liked his character. In Too Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar? I didn't see that one, but in this one I really liked him. Well, who else we got? Next up, I have Pedro Serrano, played by Dennis Haysbert.

SPEAKER_20 33:28

Joe Buu. I used the me in esteem. El Poder.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

Hell yeah, Joe Boo. Pedro is a power-hitting slugger capable of launching home runs into another zip code. Unfortunately, he has one glaring weakness. Curveballs.

SPEAKER_04 33:52

Yeah, he I mean, he's probably one of the most quotable characters in the movie.

SPEAKER_05 33:58

Oh, I agree. And and you know what made the rounds after this movie came out? Actually, a little bit further than that in the early 2000s, that people just could not wrap their head around. This actor was also the Allstate guy.

SPEAKER_03 34:11

Yeah. Oh my God. I watched this with my wife.

SPEAKER_04 34:18

In fact, there was a night, it was the three of us were together. I think we were watching a blues game, and an Allstate commercial came on, and you looked at me and said, Can you believe that's Pedro Serrano? And I argued with you that there is no way until we IMDbeat it, and then I felt like an ass. That's so funny.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

You know, I it's it's really hard to make the distinction between the two. I'm gonna have to tell her. Yeah. I'm gonna tell her as soon as I get home.

unknown 34:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:43

I'm gonna wake her up and be like, listen, you were right.

SPEAKER_12 34:46

It's the Osdurk, it's the Allsday guy.

SPEAKER_03 34:49

What the fuck are you talking about? Who else we got? Next up, I have Lou Brown played by James Gammon.

SPEAKER_07 34:55

We're out of towns. I'm too old to go diving into lockers.

SPEAKER_03 35:01

Lou is a gruff minor league manager who gets promoted to lead baseball's biggest collection of misfits. His old school style and blunt honesty slowly turn the team into contenders. I would like this character to narrate my life. I liked his mustache a whole bunch.

SPEAKER_05 35:21

There's not much I did not like about this character.

SPEAKER_04 35:23

No, he's his gruff and grizzledness, but still with a heart. Yep. And a good mind. And, you know, he goes from selling white walls to, you know. Building a team. Yeah. And, you know, he is the true father figure of the team. Um, but the actor James Gammon, he's such a great character actor. He is he's one of those that guys. Yeah. You don't necessarily know his name, but when you see him, and more importantly, when you hear him, you know you've seen and heard him somewhere.

SPEAKER_05 35:56

And and he's in a bunch of them, and you can see why, but the dude's like this not a star, but he's a great piece of a Western movie. Yeah. Oh, big time.

SPEAKER_04 36:04

Yeah. What I love about him though, he has essentially the same delivery for everything. Yeah. And they all still work. Like he uses the same gruff Eeyore voice for this is my excited voice, and I'm really disappointed with your voice. It sounds the same, but I don't care because it's somehow he delivers it in a way that still works.

SPEAKER_05 36:27

My favorite was he was on the phone when he's asked to be the manager, and his first thing he says, Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 36:37

Can I can I do an early front runner for Bodicare for Lou Brown's mustache? You know, that that's not that's not a bad case.

SPEAKER_04 36:45

It was a great mustache. I still don't think it beat the Yankees' first basemans.

SPEAKER_03 36:50

Okay. All right, all right, I get you.

SPEAKER_04 36:53

But I'm I would like to see them. Let's have a mustache off.

SPEAKER_03 36:56

I would like to see that mustache off. Dueling stashes. All right, who else we got? All right, next up is Harry Doyle, played by Bob Eucher.

SPEAKER_09 37:07

Just a reminder, fans, about Die Hard Night coming up here at the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won a pennant.

SPEAKER_03 37:18

Harry's the team's sarcastic radio announcer whose play-by-play commentary provides some of the movie's funniest and most quotable moments. Bob Eucher is a national treasure.

SPEAKER_05 37:28

He is. And and rest his soul. He he passed away, what, last year? I believe that's correct. Yeah, he's he was a baseball announcer. So doing this gig was just him being him.

SPEAKER_04 37:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:38

Yeah, yeah. Well, he I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_04 37:39

He spent six seasons in the major leagues as a player and actually won the 1964 World Series with the Cardinals. Yeah, he was a backup catcher.

SPEAKER_03 37:46

No way.

SPEAKER_04 37:48

And then became a legendary broadcaster for the Milwaukee Brewers or the Meaty Waquay.

SPEAKER_05 37:54

He was he was inducted into the uh Baseball Hall of Fame as an announcer, and his induction speech is one of the funniest speeches you will ever hear. Oh my gosh. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 38:05

I bet it is. Now, what I remember Bob Eucher from the most, though, he was a star of Mr. Belvedere. Yeah. The TV show in the 1980s. Uh-huh. Who was he? He was the dad. He was the dad. The dad from no way.

SPEAKER_22 38:19

Yeah. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

Wow. Okay. Now I I I've met I met Bob Eucher one time. So so years ago, I was a sports reporter. So I was at the Cardinals game the very first time. Because the Milwaukee had been playing in the American League, but then they re-divisioned and they brought him over to the National League. And so I was at the game for the Cardinals the first time the Milwaukee Brewers played there in a division, you know, matchup. Yeah. And I was in the press box just going to the buffet and grabbing some food before the game. And Bob Euchre kind of saddles up next to me. He's like, hey, young fella, how's the food here? And I'm like, this is a memory that's going to be ingrained in my brain for life. Absolutely. It's amazing. Most definitely. And who you see is who he is. Yeah. I mean, he I then can't say I had a full-blown conversation with him. Uh, but yeah, it was a one of those moments that just that this is that guy.

SPEAKER_05 39:15

So one of my favorite Euchre stories when he was the backup catcher for the Cardinals during batting practice, there was a band that was there getting ready to play the national anthem. And he took one of the giant sousaphones and ran around the outfield catching fly balls and the big bell of the sousaphone.

SPEAKER_04 39:35

That's amazing. Holy cow. And no, not a big actor, but certainly had some experience. Yeah. And I think he had so much comfort though with the microphone and ad-libbing on the play-by-play that a lot of the things that they put in the movie were not scripted. He just said.

SPEAKER_05 39:52

Yeah. And and the director told him, said, Hey, you you be you. And he just ad-libbed most of his lines.

SPEAKER_03 39:58

It was so good. Yeah. So good. Alright, who else we got? Next up is Rachel Phelps, played by Margaret Whitten. That ought to shut these people up. Fuck you. Rachel's the new owner of the Cleveland Indians, who intentionally assembles a terrible roster in hopes of moving the team to Miami. A very hateable character. And a stellar body. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:25

Mm-hmm. This was one of the things that I wanted to reanalyze. Because after thinking things through, I've kinda decided that Rachel's not the villain we're made to think she is. Ooh, what you got? I think she's just a savvy businesswoman looking for a decent deal, and quite frankly, Cleveland has screwed her over. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 40:46

Yeah, there's there's credence to that. I I thought she was a little bit over over the top. Oh no, she's cartoonish. Yeah. But I think her motivations are sincere. It's funny, she wanted to move the team to Miami. Now there's already a team in Miami. Back then there was not a team in Miami. Yeah. So it actually made sense.

SPEAKER_04 41:04

But no, definitely they do everything we can to make her make us root against her. Right. For sure. And root for our heroes. Uh to thwart her. But yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think that she portra uh Rachel, I'm sorry, Margaret Witten, I think, portrays Rachel Phillips well. She gives her just enough vitriol and just enough Cruella de Vilness to make us not like her. And therefore forget about whatever common sense reasons she might actually have. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 41:38

I mean, she's gonna get a mansion. A brand new stadium. Isn't that what any person wants? I would take it.

SPEAKER_05 41:47

I'll be the villain of this movie.

SPEAKER_03 41:49

That's fine.

SPEAKER_05 41:50

I don't know. I kind of see her as the female version of Stan Cronky. I mean, I I believe me.

SPEAKER_04 41:56

100%. I I think historically, I've kind of felt because we being in St. Louis, we've we've felt this bitter pill of a team being moved on the football side multiple times. Absolutely. The difference is I think that with with Stan Cronkey, he was trying to move a team that had consistently sold out, that was making money. Um here, she basically says straight up, we haven't, we're losing money. We're not people aren't coming to the games, we're not putting a winning product on the field. That seems like a perfectly reasonable set of explanations of why you should move.

SPEAKER_05 42:30

Yeah, it's almost like Stan Kronke was doing the long play and Rachel Phelps was doing the short play.

SPEAKER_04 42:37

I don't know which play was which, but yeah, I don't I don't think I think other than the fact there are two people that wanted to move a team, I think the the parallels end there.

SPEAKER_03 42:45

You know, and I heard something on my favorite podcast, 101 Fast Lane. Uh they were talking about this the other day, and they said that a common misconception for fans is to believe that the owners are fans. Right. They're not, they're business. Absolutely. And they're gonna do business things. Right. And for us to believe that they're fans of the team. Well, and and and that doesn't mean that every owner's not, right? There's some people that are, but for the most part, they're business people. They don't care.

SPEAKER_04 43:20

Business 101 tells you location, location, location. And if you're losing, if you're losing money in your location, right, go to another location.

SPEAKER_05 43:28

Well, they're fans, they're just fans of the green. Fans of the money. Yeah. Different kind of fan, right?

SPEAKER_04 43:34

But I'm sure we'll get more into that as we go on. Oh, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_03 43:37

All right. Who else we got? Next up is Lynn Wells, played by Renee Russo.

SPEAKER_17 43:42

I stopped being an athlete three years ago, Jake. Books are my life now.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

Books. Books are her life, damn it. She's a librarian now. Lynn is Jake's former girlfriend, now engaged to another man. She finds herself forced to decide whether her future lies with her fiance. Or with Jake.

SPEAKER_05 44:03

I think she kind of made a bum choice here. Even though, even though her her fiance before Jake came in the picture was kind of a kind of a douche. Oh, he was such a douche.

SPEAKER_03 44:14

Yeah. And there was also there was a scene in the house where she said something, and the way he looked at her made her sit back. And I was like, oh, he beats her. Right. You know what I mean? Like, he's not an Olympic. At least at least brow beats. Right. Yeah. Like, and maybe, maybe physically punches her in the face. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 44:32

I don't know. She was she was uh an Olympic swimmer. She was an alternate hundred meter medley.

SPEAKER_04 44:38

Other than Major League, you've probably seen Renee Russo in a few things. She was one of a really big star in the 90s with um appearances in Lethal Weapon 3, In The Line of Fire, Outbreak, Get Shorty, Tin Cup, Ransom, and uh a movie I really love, The Thomas Crown Affair.

SPEAKER_03 44:56

Oh, I love that movie too. She's been in some stuff. She's done a few things.

SPEAKER_05 45:00

And in the Thomas Crown Affair, there's two reasons why it's a great movie. What's that? The left boob and the right boob. She married them both. Mm-hmm. Okay. Alright. Alright.

SPEAKER_03 45:14

You really needed him to spell it out. Yeah, I did. I wasn't paying attention. Okay, there we go. B Double O B. I was thinking about my last but not least over here. Alright, who would that be? Last but absolutely not least on my list is crowd member number 1243, played by Brian Kuntz.

SPEAKER_12 45:33

Oh, that's me.

SPEAKER_03 45:37

There he is, I can hear him right there. Right there. Right there. I swear I saw him too. Brian is a 13-year-old baseball prodigy and self-appointed scout whose groundbreaking notebook, Why the Indians Don't Stink as Much as Everyone Thinks, was quietly circulated through the organization during the 1989 season. Many baseball historians believe several key roster decisions were inspired by observations he scribbled between bites of Stadium hot dog. Oh, that's awesome. Thanks for putting that in there. Now, we have a celebrity here. Well, I appreciate it. And you gotta tell the whole story now.

SPEAKER_05 46:13

I I will. I'll get to that later. We'll get to that's uh I've got a little bit of that in my closing thoughts. But I was I I was in the stadium when they shot the uh the scenes for this movie in Cleveland Stadium.

SPEAKER_04 46:25

So honestly, I think this character was a little overrated. I sensed a lot of pretension and a lot of angst, yeah, but I don't think it really came through on camera.

SPEAKER_03 46:37

It didn't land very well.

SPEAKER_04 46:38

No, it didn't.

SPEAKER_05 46:39

Um you know, at 13 tryhard. He was definitely try-harding. Yeah at 13 years of age, I really didn't have my whole acting chops yet.

SPEAKER_03 46:47

Were were you 13? Because I I had to I had to text your wife and ask, uh-huh, like how old? Like, let's put some days together here. And I said, Don't tell him about this because this is a surprise for the podcast.

SPEAKER_05 46:59

Nice. I'm pleasantly surprised. In fact, you can probably see me blushing. Thank you. That was awesome.

SPEAKER_04 47:05

If you put your cheeks right up to the microphone, everyone else will be able to see it too. You can hear the blush. Hear it.

SPEAKER_05 47:11

Listen, listen close. It it sounds like Rudolph snows. Wee wee-wee-wee-wee.

SPEAKER_04 47:20

Well, now that we've talked about quite the loaded cast, let's take a moment and talk about our second beer of the podcast. So, this is a pick of mine. This is Schlafley's Just a Bit Hazy IPA. And how does that relate to the movie? Well, in the movie, the announcer says, Just a bit outside. Well, this is just a bit hazy. Nice.

SPEAKER_05 47:50

Thoughts? I like it. You know, this is a hazy that I can get on board with. Really? It does not punch me in the taste buds. It's flavorful, it's refreshing, it's not desiccating my mouth. I would buy this and drink it again. Would you? I would. I like it.

SPEAKER_04 48:11

So, my first thoughts, first couple pulls of this, I thought this was gonna be a repeat of our last episode where I picked a hazy-ish beer that was more West Coast oriented, that you guys wouldn't really necessarily be into. Yeah. Because I don't get the hazy fruitiness. I do get a very enjoyable West Coast IPA.

SPEAKER_03 48:32

I do get that too. It's not as harsh as a West Coast normally is. But uh Yeah, it's not it. I wouldn't say this is a hazy, but it does say just a bit hazy. Just a bit. Hazy. It's not off-puttingly hazy. Damn. What are you doing? Don't bite my bee sting. Your cat's biting my bee sting.

SPEAKER_05 49:00

Oh, the cat. I thought I was biting your bee sting. What? This podcast took a very different turn.

SPEAKER_04 49:07

See, this is like some pernated rivalry territory.

SPEAKER_03 49:11

So no, I it's not it's not your traditional hazy. Stop it! But it is, it's I'm losing my train of thought. Jesus Christ. Okay. So it's not it's not as juicy and hazy as I would expect it to be, but it's definitely not a West Coast kind of IPA. Um it's tasty.

SPEAKER_05 49:36

Yeah, it's tasty. I like it. I get a little juicy, and I think that counteracts the the hoppiness a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 49:42

Like, I definitely get the juice, but the juice is more of an afternote, uh almost like waters down the the hoppiness to kind of balance it out, but not overtake it like we get with many traditional juicies. Um, so I I think this is a very drinkable, and uh thankfully, because it's a 16-ounce can, but also thankfully it's only 5% ABC. Exactly. I'm on board with this.

SPEAKER_05 50:07

I'm a whore for this hazy. Are you? Heck yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:10

Look at me go. So we have two really good beers. Yeah. Back to back. This is gonna be a tough choice. Oh, I'll I'll ruin that.

SPEAKER_05 50:18

Just wait, I'll ruin that.

SPEAKER_04 50:20

Maybe we'll find out soon enough. But before we history, before we get to that, though, let's talk about the nitty-gritty of Major League. Let's get into it. I love nitty-gritties. Now, we've been talking a lot in our recent episodes about the opening title sequence. Yeah. Some have been good, some have been really shit. Uh-huh. What do you guys think about a montage of the city of Cleveland set to a Randy Newman song?

SPEAKER_03 50:53

Uh was it Randy Newman? Yeah, Randy Newman. My note says Randy Newman question mark. That yes. Okay. I don't miss the 80s. Long, long opening credit roll.

SPEAKER_05 51:05

I just don't. So so the name of the song is Burn On. Burn on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:11

Because the Cuyahoga River, which flows through Cleveland, caught fire multiple times. Oh about 14 times, in fact. Wow. Because it was so polluted.

SPEAKER_03 51:23

Cleveland sounds like a lovely place.

SPEAKER_05 51:26

It was a very industrial place.

SPEAKER_04 51:29

The largest river fire in 1952 caused over a million dollars in damage in 1952. So that's who knows how much now. That's a lot. Uh and the 1969 fire caught national attention and at least in part led to the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency.

unknown 51:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 51:49

So we opened the movie with a song that's all about a river catching fire. By Randy Newman. Burn on, big river, burn on.

SPEAKER_05 51:58

So you gotta find me. Randy Newman makes it sound fun. He does. He sure is.

SPEAKER_03 52:03

But nostalgic in the same time.

SPEAKER_02 52:06

Big River.

SPEAKER_03 52:07

It's fun, nostalgic, and sweet. It's something. But no, I I hate. Hate like I don't need to see who like produced it in the beginning. I don't need to see who the cameraman was in the beginning. Like, you know what I mean? Like savor for the credit rule of the end. Right. A lot of these movies like big opening credits. They did.

SPEAKER_05 52:29

Holy cow.

SPEAKER_03 52:29

And they go on and on and on. Let's list everybody in the beginning and then we'll do it again at the end.

SPEAKER_04 52:35

But they they really did use this as an opportunity to do some scene setting to kind of at least do some of the homework on the front end. Yeah. So we get all the establishing shots of Cleveland. We see that it's an industrial, working, you know, rust belt kind of city. Blue collary. We see the Higbees building in the background of one shot, which I got a little titillated by. Ah, the Higbees. The Higbees building because a Christmas story was shot in Cleveland. Yep, and Higbees was the store for it. Yeah. Um, we then get all of a sudden a bunch of newspaper clippings that that show the history of the Cleveland Indians and how they have sucked. And then, you know, we go back to more shots of Cleveland, but then we get one more present-day newspaper shot about how the Cleveland Indians owner died and how the team is being taken over by his ex-showgirl widow. Yep. And so they've done the homework for us up front. We know that this is a city, we know they have a baseball team, we know they've sucked, we know the owner died, we know the widow is taken over, and she used to be a showgirl. Boom. All that's done. No one has to say a word. True. That was quick. So even though it has Randy Newman, who I just fucking hate, um, other than Toy Story, I could you could take every one of the songs that we put in a movie and just put them in a dumpster and set it all on fire. Or put in the Cuyahoga River and set it on fire. Yeah, yeah. Put it down the river.

SPEAKER_05 53:54

Yeah. It would burn there. Little Viking funeral.

SPEAKER_04 53:59

Uh anyway, we find out that Rachel Phelps has inherited the Cleveland Indians after her husband's death, and and she has a new plan to shake up the team.

SPEAKER_19 54:09

Spring training begins in two weeks. Here's a list of the players we'll be inviting to camp.

SPEAKER_00 54:19

I never heard of half of these guys, and the ones I do know are way past the prime. Most of these guys never had a prime.

SPEAKER_19 54:26

The facts are we lost our two best players to free agency. We haven't won a pennant in over 35 years. We haven't placed higher than fourth in the last 15. Obviously, it's time for some changes.

SPEAKER_00 54:38

This guy here is dead.

SPEAKER_19 54:40

Cross him off then.

SPEAKER_03 54:42

Cross him off then. I loved that part so much. Loved it so much I wrote it down. This guy here is dead. And I was actually looking at my notes and I'm like, where does that fit in? And then you played it and it was great because it just reminded me this guy here is dead.

SPEAKER_04 55:01

Amazing. I will say we don't, from what we know of this character at this point, of Rachel, I like the way she came into the room and took command. Oh, she owned it in a boardroom full of crusty white old dudes. Yeah, she did. Yep. And so at this point I'm thinking, girl power, rock on Rachel. Um we though very quickly learn more about her motivations. Because she confides to her general manager, Charlie Donovan. Did either of you recognize Charlie Donovan? Charles Sephers? That's right.

unknown 55:36

No.

SPEAKER_04 55:36

Yeah, I recognize him, but I have no clue where from. You recognize him from Halloween, where he played Sheriff Brackett.

SPEAKER_05 55:44

Ah, the father of Annie Brackett. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_03 55:51

I know it's kids. They only took a mask, a knife, and some rope. Had to be kids. Who else would have done that? Who else would have stolen a knife and some rope?

SPEAKER_04 56:02

What kids are stealing a rope? Uh, anyway. Uh, but yeah, so she confides to uh Sheriff Brackett that that she secretly actually wants to move the team.

SPEAKER_19 56:16

I want to put together a team that'll help us relocate to Miami.

SPEAKER_21 56:20

What do you mean? Some of these guys are furniture movers?

SPEAKER_19 56:23

I'm serious about this, Charlie. It's no secret. I've never liked Cleveland much. Stadium's falling apart, we don't draw dick, the weather's lousy. Another couple years of this, and I'm gonna have to start feeding Chacha a real dog.

SPEAKER_21 56:37

You know, this charge you just can't up and move a team on a whim.

SPEAKER_19 56:41

It's hardly a whim. Miami's offered to build us a new stadium. 62,000 capacity, 45 VIP boxes, and for me, a mansion in Boca Raton, plus free membership in the Palm Beach Apollo and Country Club.

SPEAKER_21 56:57

I get it.

SPEAKER_19 56:58

Now no other franchise in baseball can match that deal.

SPEAKER_21 57:01

The legal never let us leave Cleveland. We got a lease with the city.

SPEAKER_19 57:05

The lease says we have the right to move if the attendance falls below 800,000 for the year, paragraph 40, line 17. If we play bad enough, we should be able to come in under that.

SPEAKER_21 57:14

What are you saying? You want us to lose?

SPEAKER_19 57:17

No. We've been losing. What I want is for us to finish dead last.

SPEAKER_03 57:25

So we've had this discussion amongst the three of us about how difficult it would be to make professional athletes try to throw a season. Right. Like they're professional athletes. They're not going to just be like, you know what? Right. They've got professional pride to play for. We'll fuck this up on purpose. Like it's not gonna happen. Right? Right. So I get where she's coming from. You're gonna bring in this group of misfits where it's this like everyone sucks. They're a bunch of nobodies. But like as a group of professionals, they think they're professionals, they're not gonna just suck forever on purpose.

SPEAKER_04 58:01

No. And the fact of the matter is, even if you have a degree of talent, so much of baseball and and any sport really is just the breaks of the game. Yeah. You know, who gets hot at the right moment, what happens, anything could happen. That's why you play the games.

SPEAKER_05 58:18

If you can make it to the professional level, you're not terrible. Well, that's that's why most of the people on our list are not professional.

SPEAKER_03 58:26

One guy was dead.

SPEAKER_04 58:29

Now, but but cross him often. So to activate the escape clause in Elise, the the season-long attendance has to fall below 800,000. Now, just to add a little bit of perspective to that number, Major League Baseball teams play 81 regular season home games, right? So to finish below 800,000 in attendance, they'd have to average under 9,876 attendees per game. In the 80s, though, Cleveland Stadium had a seating capacity of over 70,000 people. In fact, 75,000, I believe. Uh, which would mean they would have to maintain attendance to only 14% of their actual capacity throughout the season to reach that goal.

SPEAKER_03 59:18

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_05 59:19

It was so big because it was also where the Browns played. It was also a football stadium.

SPEAKER_04 59:23

But as interesting and crazy as it is, they did it three times in real life in the 80s. Did they really? Yeah. Uh-huh. They they failed to meet this very low bar in 83, 84, and 85, averaging fewer than 9,876 attendees per game. So that's a real seasons. A real rule. I don't know if it's a real rule. Every contract, because teams do lease, they don't usually own the stadiums. The cities own the stadiums or someone else owns the stadiums and they lease it. But within those leases are escape clauses. That's what actually bit the the St. Louis Rams whenever Stan Crocky decided to move them to LA, is they had it built within their clause that the facility had be had to be within the top 20% of all facilities in National Football League. And there was no way the dome could be upgraded to that level. Right. And so he used that clause, even though the fact they had sold out every game for decades, because you have to sell out your game as an NFL team to get on on national TV. If you don't sell out your game, they don't put you on TV. Blackout. So they sold out to avoid the blackouts. So they were making money, but not as much money as he wanted to make in LA. This is where the difference is for me. She's owner a team that's not making money in a shitty stadium in Cleveland. So this is actually, to me, not a bad business choice. I get it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:46

I do, I get it. But the part that doesn't like really sit well with me is she's just like, oh, I'm gonna throw these people out here, like these nobodies, and just thinks that they're gonna fail completely.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:00

How is this any different than than sports teams tanking the end of their season to get better draft picks? Well, you tank the end of the season, not the whole season starting is spring training. They have but every season, you know, you get to the end, you realize you're not gonna win it, you you trade off your best players, you play with with rookies and people you bring up for the minor leagues just to get through, knowing you're gonna lose the majority of your games, you tank it so you can build and be in a better spot. This is no different. You're tanking a longer span of time, but you know what, no one was coming to your games anyway. But here's the thing, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:32

Do you remember uh I don't remember what year it was, Connor Bedard when he was like in the draft, right? And he was gonna be first overall in the draft. Ended up going to Chicago, Chicago blue. There was a phrase suck hard for Badard. Yeah. Uh-huh. Now, that's what I'm saying, though. Like the blues were a professional or are a professional sports team. They're not going like you can't go to the players and say lose on purpose.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:03

Which is why I think what she's doing is honestly fairly humane. She's not going to players and saying lose on purpose. She's bringing up crappiest players she can find and saying, Do your best, boys, do your best. You're gonna lose knowing that best isn't thinking that best won't be enough.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:20

Right. And then she's gonna get rid of all those players to get new ones when she's in the new place. In Miami.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:27

Yeah. But honestly, you know, if they didn't do well, this this is this is if anything, this is the chance for them to prove themselves. I don't think she's a bad person.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:37

At this point, this is this is like the opposite argument of saying that uh Glinda the Good Witch and the Wizard of Oz was the actual villain. I mean, yeah, you can draw the lines, you can connect the dots, but it all boils down to she wants to take a beloved team away from its city. It's not that beloved. No one's been going. They still love their team.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:58

Well, then you know what? They should have gone more.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:01

Yeah. I don't subscribe to your theory, but I see where you're coming from. All right.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:06

I see where you're coming from. But ultimately, she orders general manager Charles Donovan to assemble the worst roster imaginable. And so from here, we we get the glimpses of what this worst team is going to be. We we see that he they've recruited career minor league skipper Lou Brown uh to be the team's manager. Uh veteran catcher Jake Taylor is brought back despite bad knees and playing in Mexico. Uh wild flamethrower Ricky Wild Thing Vaughn is signed straight out of prison. The California Penal League. Uh Pedro Serrano is a player who can crush fastballs but can't hit a curveball to save his life. Oh, and he also just happens to rely on Voodoo. Yep. Um from Cuba. We we got aging pitcher Eddie Harris, who survives by doctoring baseballs with Vaseline, Vagicil, Razor Blades, and Snot. Yep. Uh, and former star baseman Roger Dorn, who's talented but selfish. And, you know, he's he's just you know, he's out for for the dollar, and that's it.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:05

My favorite quote is I didn't know we had high-priced talent on this team. And then the guy says, Well, he's high priced.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:15

And so we we they after the the initial introductions, they are all congealed or can they brought together and they coagulate at spring training in Arizona, and we get the addition of one additional player. The addition of one additional player, man, the Department of Redundancy Department. Uh another player just happens to show up, speedster Willie Mays Hayes, who crashes camp. Um, not invited, just shows up. Um but he hits like Mays and he runs like Hayes. So he says, you know, so did you guys notice his car when he pulled up? That's what I'm ready to say. There's old spaghetti. Willie Mays Hayes is the perfect definition of fake it till you make it. Oh, heck yeah. The guy walked in with such swagger, and you know, he was yeah, the beetle with the Bentley grill. The wingtip shoes and and the hanky he was waving out the window. Now I had heard the hanky hang waving out the window was actually a production trick. Oh yeah? Because it's basically a warner of him backing out and Rick Vaughn pulling up in the motorcycle. So he was waving the hanky to alert the motorcycle driver to head on this way. Oh, that's cool. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Okay. I don't know if it's true or not, but that's what I'd heard. I'll believe you. But yeah, so we get this group that's coming together and we get to see what their problems are. You know, Vaughn throws 100 miles an hour but has no control. Hayes can't hit anything but pop flies. I actually, speaking of Hayes, I did like because he he just walked basically into camp without invitation. And while he's asleep, you know, they go to bed and they're bung. Rooms and in the middle of the night the security guys come in, it's like, oh, this is the guy that wasn't invited. They detach his bunk and walk him outside the camp, and Wheelie never wakes up until the next morning when drilling's going on.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:11

And when he wakes up, we wakes up in the morning, he says, What? I've been cut already.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:17

But but then but then jumps into a sprint drill and blows everyone away and instantly get him a uniform.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:25

Right. So a couple things on this. And Brian, I know you were part of the Cardinals organization here. Is training camp really like that with both beds in one room? No. No, that's not a thing. That's not a thing. Okay. The other thing, you said he threw 100 miles per hour. That first pitch, he threw 96. Yeah. And I know you're rounding up. But isn't it funny that 96 back in like 89 was a big deal, and now it's really not. Right. Like people are throwing 102, 103, 104, and it's like the flame goes across the screen, and it's like, ooh, 106, and you're like, oh my god, that's crazy. And they were like freaking out about it. Yeah, 96.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:09

Back then, 96 now, there's a reason for that. That's kind of technical and nerdy. Back then, they read the speed of the pitch about 20 feet from the pitcher. Now they rate the speed of the pitch as it leaves the pitcher's hand. So the natural deceleration of the ball as it would go to the plate. So they could have been throwing the same velocity, but where they're measuring the velocity from is different now.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:40

I will also tell you this is something I learned from my time working in minor league baseball. Um the accuracy of your radar gun really depends upon the angle at which you're shooting from where the pitcher is leaving. No, where the bells leave his hand. It's going to be most accurate when it's the dead-on angle. But there's not that many places you can always get a dead-on angle. Usually it's being shot at some kind of tangent, and the greater the tangent, the the or the higher the tangent, the lower the accuracy. And it can swing big directions either way. Sure.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:10

Yeah, so advances of technology have increased the velocity numbers. Not saying I I do believe they throw harder now than they used to. Because, you know, velocity, velocity, velocity is all they teach.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:21

Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:22

Um, so I do think they throw harder, but I don't think it's that much more. You can't tell me Nolan Ryan wasn't pushing gas.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:29

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:30

You know?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:30

So But I just thought it was fun. They were like, whoa. I know, I know. Yeah. Like mustache guy was like, whoa.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:37

You better teach this kid some control before he kills somebody. He broke a sign. Damn. It sounded fast.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:48

Yeah, but they all they all have other issues. Dorn won't dive for a ball. Taylor's knees are nearly shot. Uh Serrano can't hit a curveball.

SPEAKER_20 1:08:58

I cannot hit curveball. Straight ball, I hit it very much. Very much.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:03

Very much.

SPEAKER_20 1:09:03

Curveball. Bats are afraid.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:07

That's why you had hats for bats. Take the keep bats warm.

SPEAKER_20 1:09:13

I offer him cigar from Rome. Rome.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:18

He will come. You know, you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff. Shit, Harris. Ah.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:28

Don't start a holy war here. Jesus.

SPEAKER_20 1:09:31

I like him very much. But he know help with curveballs.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:36

You're trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:43

I I would I would say no. I would say no. He couldn't.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:51

I don't even know if I want to answer that question. The dude can walk on water. He can turn water into wine. I don't think he'd have trouble waiting back on the curveball. In the movies I've seen, he looks kind of like a weenie. Swinging him ish.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:09

Well, in the locker room, all the players are dreading the appearance of uh red cards in their lockers, which is a sign that they have been cut from the team. At one point, we see Serrano ward the evil spirits away using a big ass snake. Yeah. Now it has never bothered me until I watched this movie today. Where was that snake up until this moment? Because it wasn't in his locker. Was there just a giant friggin' python just roaming the clubhouse? Oh, he probably had it in like a rubber made crate with holes poked on the top.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:46

Oh basket.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:47

You know, like a basket with a like a little flute. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:53

Maybe maybe just keeps them around. Um this though leads Willie Mays to uh do a simpler thing with the garter snake, which I thought was adorable. That was cute. Uh on the last day of cuts, um all the players are are dreading to check their lockers because they know this is it. They're either in or they're out. They're going to Cleveland or they're going who knows where.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:17

And Jake gives some great advice. And it's like, don't celebrate in front of guys who just died. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:23

And and so we see Willie, you know, he opens his locker, no tag, sees the red tag, or no name, still doesn't see a tag. And so he excuses himself quietly, walks out in front of the outside, and does a celebration dance. Does a little happy dance. Yeah, it was happy. And then we though have have Vaughn. You know, Rick Vaughn uh is standing at that locker, and and there are a few moments of this movie where the cinematography actually jumped out at me. And this was probably my favorite shot of the entire movie. When you open the locker. Because we get this first person view shot initially through the locker little air vents, where all we see, we see nothing but shadow, other than just through those vents, we see Ricky's face, and then we see the door open, and all we see just enough of a red blur in the left-hand corner to know there's something there without it being fully spelled out. But his face tells all the story we need. And then we get the aftermath. Yep.

SPEAKER_15 1:12:24

I got news for you, Mr. Brown. You haven't heard the last of me. You may think I'm shit now, but someday you're gonna be sorry that you cut me. I'm gonna catch on somewhere else, and every time that I pitch against you, I'm gonna stick it up, you fucking ass.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:41

I like that kind of spirit in a player. The only problem is I didn't cut you. I think someone's been having some fun with you.

unknown 1:12:54

Nope.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:54

Now he's gonna go kick Dorne's ass.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:56

Now, he puts two and two together instantly. That it was must have been Dorne that pranked him and put the tag in his locker. But I don't think we were really given evidence up to this point to suggest it was Dorne that put the tag in his locker. Dorne's the one who called him Veg Head. He called him one name and questioned his stupid haircut when he walked into the locker room. But let's be honest, that haircut was fucking stupid. Well, he's the only player we've met to this point who you don't like.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:26

Yeah, I mean it was it was a jump for him to be like, oh, it had to be you, you know, like enough to punch a dude in the face. Like, that's a pretty that's a pretty good jump. But yeah, like you said, it he's the only guy that's caused any kind of conflict so far.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:40

What's wrong, rookie? Can't take a joke?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:44

Well, well, Taylor tells Vaughn to save his aggression for his opponents because he's got bigger things to do, more important things to do. Yeah, like what? Pack for Cleveland! Oh yeah. So they go to Cleveland. And while at dinner at a fancy restaurant, um my god. Okay, so so why were any of this them at this goddamn restaurant? To celebrate. Okay. The beginning of a season. Who picked this restaurant? Jake Taylor. It's a French restaurant. Apparently the menus aren't even in English. Jake Taylor knows enough about fancy French restaurants. Jake Taylor used to be an all-star.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:29

I think Jake Taylor just knew where his girlfriend wanted was gonna be. Yeah, it could be.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:33

I don't think so. I think this first introduction or first, you know, happenstance was pure coincidence.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:40

So I'm I'm gonna give benefit of the doubt here. And I'm gonna say Jake was just taking these two rookies under his wing. Because this is one of the things I do give Jake a lot of credit for. Sure. Um, and taking them out to say, hey, you've you are now a major league player. There are some perks of the game. Let's let's act like it. Let's act like people that make a decent living, and let's go have a good meal.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:00

God, I never understood that though. Like, I've never actually had French food, but none of it sounds appetizing. I've had it, it doesn't excite me.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:08

If if you were gonna tell me, like, well, let's go have a great meal, I'd be down for steakhouse. Right, steak. Give me some steak. I'd be down for a seafood restaurant. I wouldn't, but that's fine. You want to go for sushi, hibachi? There's lots of fine dining experiences that would excite me way more than a stuffy French restaurant where I can't understand the words on the menu.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:28

Yeah, I'm right there with you. And like, give me a goddamn pizza. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 1:15:34

Like me and the buoys going out, the buoys. The last time I went to a fancy French restaurant, I went to chemo's. Oh, okay, which is downtown, top of the Met building. Good food. And uh I got scorching diarrhoea. I worked, I worked at Chemo's. Oh, did you really? A day. No, a day. So we got home. I took the babysitter home, and I'm driving back, and the the guts were bubbling.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:04

Would you make it?

SPEAKER_05 1:16:06

You have to make a stop. Let's just say I tucked my pants into my socks.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:13

Oh man Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:16

I took my I took my suit off in the shower.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:19

To change the subject, I have a few more questions about this this dining experience. Uh-huh. If you notice Jake and Willie both seem to be drinking wine or champagne of some sort, it sure looks like Ricky's having a Coke. He is having a Coke. What's up with that? I don't know. Maybe he's not a drinker. We see him at a bar later. We do. I mean, you wouldn't just have even just a beer, and I know this is a fancy place, but you know, they don't have an Amstel light or something on tap. I don't know. I didn't see the menu. Oh. Maybe that showed his like they were trying to show his immaturity. Yeah, it's kind of what it felt like to me. Because the fact he was there with a leather jacket with the sleeves ripped off, no shirt underneath, and a tie. Oh, he had a shirt. Which he said, but he said, I feel like a banker.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:04

Right. He had a shirt on, but it was a mesh. Oh, there we go.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:08

A mesh sleeveless shirt, a sleeveless leather vest, and a tie. Because that's the dress code. The restaurant had a dress code. But he felt like a banker. That I don't think they need anything more to make him look immature. He could have had a beer.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:24

He could have had a beer. He could have. Or the same glass of champagne, mine, whatever the other guys are having. Yeah. I didn't really understand the the glass of soda either. But whatever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:38

It's not that big of a thing. I it just caught my eye. But while they're at the restaurant, uh Jake starts to get a little distracted. Yep. What is it? A chick?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:49

It's my wife. Does she know that? I mean, uh, she would have been if I hadn't messed it up. Who's that guy she's with? I don't know. He's not wearing a name tag. You want me to drag him out of here?

SPEAKER_15 1:18:00

Bit the shit out of him.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:03

I love some of those just slight lines that are just really throwaways. Yeah. It's like, I don't know. Doesn't have a name tag. Right. I don't know. You want me to take him outside and beat the shit out of him? Thanks, Ricky. All right, yeah. She's my wife. Does she know that? There was so much that was said in just those few words. The fact that he has apparently put so much value on this relationship beyond what it actually was. That doesn't exist anymore. Despite the fact we find out later he hasn't talked to her in three years. Right. But they're at the same restaurant at the same time right now. So he pulls a Ferris Bueller and calls the restaurant from the restaurant and calls her. And so they're talking at to each other from feet apart from each other until they realize they're both there. And so he just goes and talks until you know she's still trying to keep the facade up for her fiance who's sitting at the the booth. Yeah. But eventually he's like, I don't think he's gonna buy this anymore. I'm right here. So so then they're just talking, and then we learn, yeah, they were in a relationship and that you know he's been gone, and he basically bullies her into giving him her phone number, which eventually she does, and we learn later that number is not a real number. Yeah. Or it is a real number, but it's for a business which she does not work at. Sure.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:24

Five five five one two three five. I don't know. Well, what it was it with all the five five five numbers back then. Uh that's the Hollywood number. Because there were there were no five fives.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:37

Right. And so you could use a five, five number ad nauseum in TV and movies because it wouldn't actually be a real thing.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:44

But after you do it a couple times, everybody knows it's a fake phone number.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:48

I think it's just one of the things you just gloss over and accept. Except for now, more and more, you'll see movies use actual real numbers, but then use them for fun things. Right. Like if you call that number, it'll be uh some fake service related to the show or the movie.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:02

Or or, you know, a sounder from the movie, or hey, donate to this charity that supports the movie.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:08

Did you know that 8675309 is a real number in the 618 area code?

SPEAKER_05 1:20:15

Oh yeah? Yeah. How many times have you called it?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:17

Uh I did it a lot when I was a teenager. Nice. We should call it on air. And I asked for I asked for Jenny, and the guy got so pissed.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:24

Oh, he's never probably the 12th person that day.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:27

He's never he's never heard that before.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:29

Oh my god, he was so mad.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:30

What you need to do is do it with an Indian accent.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:36

Well, you know, nobody first of all, nobody has like a home phone. Right. So that was probably his home phone, I would assume. And then like if you get a call now from a number you don't know, you just don't answer. No.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:48

Hey, if if 867-5309 was available, would you want that number? Fuck no.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:55

I would probably like people would be like, oh, this is the greatest song. I just heard about this great song, and they'd be calling it, and I'd be like, I'd be like, yeah, no, I'm getting all these numbers. Like, no, I'm done with that. No, I wouldn't want that number. Well, back to the movie. Brian, you would take it. I would take it. You would have a good time. I would have a blast with that.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:12

Hey, it's Judy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:15

Things are getting underway with the start of the season. Um, Vaughn very quickly earns the nickname Wild Thing uh from fans because he just can't find the strike zone. Uh Jake does try to call in, but finds out the number she gave him was a phony. So what does he do next? I mean, just the most logical thing any person would do. Go to her place of work and confront her there. Yeah, that's not cool. Uh, while there, she finds out that she's now engaged, and instead of accepting that she's moved on and that maybe he just was a bad boyfriend, and he basically did ban uh run off and abandon her um after being a bad boyfriend, uh, and maybe realizing maybe she deserves better because she is smart, talented, and really, really hot.

SPEAKER_17 1:22:02

Tom and I are getting married in the fall.

SPEAKER_10 1:22:05

Oh, God, man, that's crazy. I had plans for us.

SPEAKER_17 1:22:08

Plans? Yeah. How can you say stuff like that? I haven't seen you in three years. You never even wrote me a letter.

SPEAKER_10 1:22:15

I'm sorry about that, but I wasn't exactly proud of my situation. Come on, you never thought about me at all while I was gone. Jake, not what about the three nights we spent on the beach of Veracruz? You ever had nights like that with Mr. Briefkin?

SPEAKER_17 1:22:24

What about the night you had in Detroit with Miss Fuel injection?

SPEAKER_10 1:22:27

What was I supposed to do? She got me 50 bucks, she had a better body than you, and I had to defend her.

SPEAKER_17 1:22:32

I have a much better body than she does.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:36

Little out of the library lady. Uh oh. Everyone's looking.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:41

She's right. She's right.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:44

Yeah. Uh after this though, we do get a bit of a time jump. Um, I appreciate how this movie handled some passage of time.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:55

Yeah, it moved forward pretty quickly instead of just dragging.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:58

And I like the way they did it. You know, we would see like these cutaways to people in the town talking about the team. It'd be you would see the the diehard Indian fans with their you know face paint and and feathers in the head.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:11

Or Indians hard hat.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:12

Yeah, we would see guy construction workers, and we'd always see the grounds crew speaking in Japanese, and you know the ground crew.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:21

Yeah. I first of all, I would love to be a member of the ground crew for like a major league baseball stadium. Like that'd be a ton of fun, I bet. Oh, it's a ton of work. But why did they make them Japanese? Like, what significance did that have in this movie?

SPEAKER_05 1:23:40

Have you ever seen a Japanese garden and how beautiful they are? And meticulously manicured. Yeah, sure. I think they would be great taking care of a ball field.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:50

Do you think that's what this was in this movie? I have no idea.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:54

I think it was just comedy fodder. And I and I know that there's no connection between these two, but you know what my mind went to? Uh-huh. Cannibal the musical. And I've I don't think you've watched it, but I've talked to you guys about it before.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:05

I have not, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:06

Where all the the chief of the Indian tribe and all the Indians are all played by Japanese people, and they all have the teepees, all have the rising sun painted on them. And so it felt like it just felt like very home to me that you have the grounds crew of the Indians being played by Japanese people.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:23

And there's only two of them.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:25

Well, I mean, they're just the guys painting the lines around home plate. Or chalking the lines.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:31

I d I just didn't get it. I thought maybe there was a lot of things. Don't think much about it. Maybe it was a funny thing that I missed. I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know what the reference was.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:41

Yeah, no inside joke there. I think it was just meant to be some diversity and some funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:46

But but these quick cut conversations serve as a nice breakage of time. And at this point, we found out we are now about a quarter of the way through the season. And the team is now 15 and 24. Yep. And while the team's bad, as far as Rachel's concerned, they're not bad enough.

SPEAKER_19 1:25:04

This team is showing signs of improvement. I didn't think we'd win 15 games all year. Any ideas?

SPEAKER_21 1:25:10

On how we can get worse? How about a series of fines for good play? Maybe a $30,000 bonus for the guy or at least valuable player.

SPEAKER_18 1:25:21

Maybe the problem is we're coddling these guys too much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:30

And so cuts cuts her buttons. She cuts some costs. Yep. Including she initially replaced the team jet with a rundown prop plane with a duct tape propeller, which then gets replaced with an old bus later in the movie. Uh she doesn't fix the whirlpool anymore, and she, you know, cuts whatever player other player menis she can. No hot water. Yeah. Right. No towels. But the cups still work.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:55

She didn't do a tap on those.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:58

Uh while they're sitting on the tarmac at one point waiting for the propeller to be duct taped together. Uh Jake gets some relationship advice from Willie. Probably not the best to follow, but he does it anyway, that he should just follow Lynn home from work to find out where she lives. Of course. That's not creepy at all. Not at all. Because that's absolutely perfectly normal and healthy thing to do in a relationship. And also follow people home. Also, what he did. That is what he did. But she didn't go home. She did not. Because he quickly realized this isn't her home, but her fiance who's in the middle of entertaining a pack of stuffy douchebags and their stuck-up trophy spouses. Yep. The fiance's response though to Jake's showing up felt a little bit odd. Because he doesn't say, Hey, what are you doing here? This is my private residence. Get the fuck out. Right. He says, Come on in, Jake. Have a seat. He wants to make a fool out of me. He does. He absolutely does. He wants to embarrass him. And and things get real awkward real fast. It is sure.

SPEAKER_12 1:27:08

Jake, uh, what are you gonna do when your career's over? I mean, you can't play baseball forever, can you? Yeah, something will something'll come up. Will it?

SPEAKER_11 1:27:20

Will it? Well, I thought I'd go to Hawaii, have a couple of kids to grow up to be Olympic champions.

SPEAKER_22 1:27:29

Really?

SPEAKER_11 1:27:30

Yeah, uh what event? Here we go. Swimming. A 200-meter individual medley. I figure it ought to be real big by then. You got the girl picked up? I did, but I wasn't smart enough to hold on to her. Uh you used to be an athlete, didn't you, Lynn? Uh oh.

SPEAKER_19 1:27:50

Yeah.

unknown 1:27:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 1:27:52

Uh, what did you do?

SPEAKER_19 1:27:56

200 meter individual medley.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:59

It just Got weird. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:03

Putting two and two together. You're not here to talk about books. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:11

You're here because you want to fuck her. One of my favorite parts of this though was when he was like, Oh, she he's a he's a baseball player. And he's like, Yeah, baseball player. The guy was like, How much do you make? He's like, League minimum, and he's like, mm. He's like, Yeah, we got uniforms and everything.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:30

I didn't know Cleveland even had a team. Yeah, we've got uniforms and everything. But you notice when he says league minimum, she comes to his defense. She did, yeah. And says that he was an all-star. So that means there's something there. She knew that her fiance was trying to embarrass him. Yeah. And she was coming to his defense.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:50

And that was the point where I saw the fiance give her that look like, I'm going to smack you later. Right. If you don't shut your mouth. And I was like, ooh, that guy's not a good guy. Right. He's not a good guy.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:59

Well, he Jake's like, you know what? I'm going to head out. And so he he's heading to the door, and the fiance walks him there. And they they have some final words before Jake leaves.

SPEAKER_11 1:29:13

Stay away from her. Suck my dick.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:18

Well said. Lou back in the ballpark is about to send Vaughn down to the minors because while he's got one hell of an arm, he just has some control issues and realizes that maybe some time down in the minors would do him good. It's done good for a lot of players, including Ryan over there. And he sees, you know, Vaughn look over and squint, like, who are you talking about? And instantly, somehow, Lou figures out that Vaughn doesn't see very well. Right. How has it taken this long for anyone to put two and two together on that?

SPEAKER_05 1:29:52

You would think the penal system in California would have figured out his eyesight was not good.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:59

I mean, so I I do a lot of I work with a lot of nonprofit organizations. And one of the ones I do a lot of work with is this uh Delta Gamma Center for Children with Visual Impairments. And so they go into school, uh preschools and child care centers and do instant vision testing, where they have this little camera kind of thing that basically can look right into the eye and on the within seconds see if there's issues like lazy eye or other problems that they could cause issues with vision in early childhood because it's earlier to treat easier to treat things when kids are young than when they're older. And the problem is because kids, if they have vision issues and they're growing up, they just assume everyone sees like that. The whole they just assume the world is blurry because they've never really felt or experienced it crisp and clear. Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:48

They can't see clearly now because the rain's not gone.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:53

There are many obstacles in their way.

SPEAKER_22 1:30:55

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:55

Because they can't see them because they're too damn blurry. Right. Now, Rick, though, I mean, he's a grown adult at this point. Yep. I feel like at some point along the way, if he hasn't actually had a vision test, he would have put two and two together that everything is a blur more than a few feet away from me. Is this normal? Or no other coach or anyone else, no teacher, no parent, nobody has said, You're having clearly you're having issues seeing. How is he drive? How does he do anything? He would have had to pass a vision test to get his driver's license. He didn't have a driver's license. Well, yeah, we only see him uh riding on the back of the motion. We never actually see him drive him. I guess I'm just he does say he stole a car. Maybe that's what he got busted for, because he trashed it because he couldn't drive.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:42

Maybe he only drove it like three feet and he hit a wall or something.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:45

Could be. Right. But it is surprising regardless of somehow he made it to this point in his life without anyone putting two and two together on this. Nobody knows he has pres presbyopia.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:55

A what? Or myopia, one of the two. Yeah. Nearsighted big words. Or what's the other one called? Presbyopia and myopia. Myopia is nearsighted. Right. Presbyopia is harshted.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:11

So here's the thing, and I'm thinking about this now because I I grew up in a family that loved me enough to take me to the doctor and get me glasses, right? But that makes me wonder. Like, if you grew up in a family that didn't give a shit about you, your blurry vision is just normal. You'd never know. You would have no clue.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:34

At some point, someone has loved Ricky enough to get him to baseball games. Ah, you're right.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:42

Maybe as he aged it got worse.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:44

Maybe it's a progressive issue. But that's again, but this is where if he had crisp, clear vision up to a certain point in his life, he definitely would have known something's different. I think this is splitting a bit of a hair and falls under the umbrella of because movie. Yeah, I get it. Movie, movie. Anyway, so yeah, they get him new glasses, and then lo and behold, he can pitch better now. Oh, he's great.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:09

How about he puts Lou Brown's glasses on to make the next start? And Willie Mays Hayes says something about his glasses that's absolutely hilarious. He says something like, uh, yeah, after after the game, I'm gonna go get a pair of my glasses, you know. And Lou Brown says, Well, seeing is the most important thing. And Willie Mays looks at him in those glasses and goes, Ain't that important.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:35

It's better to look cool than look like that. Right? After this, we get we get some more cutaways because so we can see how the team's improving. And and these this particular set of cutaways featured an appearance by an actor I recognized. Who is that? Uh the janitor from the TV show Scrubs, played by Neil Flynn. Oh, I know who you're talking about. He was in this this particular set of uh this particular montage as the you know these guys ain't so fucking bad. Yeah, that was that guy. Yeah, he's the guy the guy in the bar. No, he's the guy with uh he was like a construction guy with a bunch of chains.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:11

Yeah, okay. Who later up later on ends up at the bar maybe and hugs the guy in the mohawk. Oh same guy, okay bringing them all together.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:20

Yeah, love, love, we'll keep it together.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:25

Uh Jake is doing more stalkery things because uh he happens to see Lynn in the stands at a game. She just went to a game to watch him. And uh he follows her out of the ballpark. Now, the geometry of how this works is beyond me. I don't know how he made it from the field to the back gate where she just happened to also be parked. Another great idea from Willie Mays Hayes. Yeah, just follow her home. Take the bullpen car. No, no, no, that was the security guard. So he goes up to security guards, like, I need to get a car really fast. I'm parked on the other side, and the security guard's like, oh, take the bullpen car.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:01

That's right, that's right. Now I had no idea what a bullpen car was. Yeah, so what is he talking about?

SPEAKER_04 1:35:07

It's essentially just a glorified golf cart. It sure is.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:12

But whenever they used to take pictures from the bullpen to the mount. Whenever he pulled that thing up to her apartment, I was like, oh fuck yeah, I'd drive that bullpen car.

SPEAKER_22 1:35:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:24

And I know I'm I'm I'm nitpicking here. How did he keep first off, she was already in the car pulling out while he was running to get the bullpen car. The bullpen car cannot be driving as fast as a normal automobile. Now I know it's probably stop and go traffic, but how did he keep up enough to be able to actually see because she's parked, and then we see him come over the hill in the with the lights on from the distance. Well, you're in a golf cart, so probably you could take some sidewalks.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:51

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:51

But how did he know where to go?

SPEAKER_03 1:35:53

I'm just saying, how could he have kept up? Love, man. Love was his GPS. All right.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:03

There's so much of this movie I can go along freely and willingly with, but this Jake Lynn love story pushes my suspension of disbelief beyond my breaking point. I get it. I really do. It does get a little creepy.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:19

It doesn't make any sense either. You're 100% right. Like, how, like, if she was gone and you're in a golf cart, how are you gonna find her?

SPEAKER_04 1:36:27

You're not, you don't know where she lives, but he does, and then he doesn't ring a doorbell, he doesn't knock on the door, he just lets himself on in. Intruder alert, intruder alert, listen. Like you said, who doesn't lock the door? Listen, he's motherfucking Jake Taylor. And so, yeah, he just lets himself in. He's gonna go in. Former all-star Jake Taylor. Walks on in. Lynn tells him that you know she's moved on, and that, you know, quite frankly, he wasn't a very good boyfriend when they were together.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:02

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:02

And that it's time to turn the page. But let's fuck first.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:07

And then they do it anyway. Yeah. Well, she gives him some hitting advice. Well, sometimes you gotta like You need to open your stance because they're pitching you inside. Sometimes you gotta fucking.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:16

And he did can he did say that he read Moby Dick. The comic book. No, she he didn't say that. She said I read Moby Dick. The comic book. Yeah, and she was asking him questions about it to make sure he was right. Who saved Quequeg?

SPEAKER_03 1:37:27

I guess he got it though.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:28

Or who saved Ishmael? No one. It was Queequeg's coffee. Yeah. And then she got so hot.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:36

He did. She loves books. Those those librarians love the oh man. Love the uh the lit. The classics.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:44

Lit rhymes with lit. Oh, you had to go with that. Nothing gets them hot and wet like Herman Melville. Must have been a sperm whale. It was a big white dick. Moby. Moving on.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:59

It's my great white whale.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:01

So we get further into the season. We are now at the point of about oh, two-thirds through. They're at 6061 for the season. Yeah. One game under 500. Not a bad mark for them to be at for the way they were put together. Right. Um, Charlie Donovan, uh the GM went on the road with the team, which is a bit of a surprise to Lou, but um he does reveal Rachel's relocation plan.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:31

You know, Charlie got so much shit. And I felt bad for Charlie. I did too. I I like the guy. I did too. Like he's a GM and he wants his team to win. Right. That's all he wanted. I felt bad for him. I'm glad that he had it like later on here. Yeah. He's got a little bit of a Yeah, little thing. Yeah, coming up.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:53

Well, well, Lou does not keep this information to himself. He calls a whole team meeting and everyone's sitting around while Lou basically lets the players know what's going to happen and that regardless of the outcome of the season, most likely, they're going to be released. If this plan succeeds, they're going to move to Florida and dump us all and get new players. If it fails, they're going to dump us all and get worse players. Right. So we got a pretty shitty row to hoe no matter what. Uh and so Jake basically puts it out there that we only have really one choice. Well, then I guess there's only one thing left to do.

SPEAKER_16 1:39:24

What's that?

SPEAKER_11 1:39:27

Win the whole fucking thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:29

Hell yeah. And rather than quit, the team unites with a single goal. Win the division and ruin Rachel's plans. Win the whole fucking thing. Yeah. Now, now their their motivations here are, I think, a little bit off target. Winning the whole fucking thing isn't going to thwart Rachel. No, they're all playing for their own careers. If this is the case, you're looking at this like, okay, we have one shot to play this together. We have to win the whole thing. You're playing it for you. This isn't to beat Rachel, because honestly, you could defeat Rachel way before you get to that goal. Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:01

Um at 1661, she's already pretty much defeated for the season.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:05

Well, I mean, we don't know exactly what attendance has been up to this point. Right. But, you know, you're you're yeah, you're 120 games in, you got 40 some games to go. Um, you know, with decent run down stretch really wouldn't take much. Right. Regardless, yeah, they're their time together is limited. And so, yeah, this is our shot. They're our one opportunity. This is this is MM mom spaghetti territory. And so they're gonna make a run for it. Um for inspiration to help track their progress. They bring out a cardboard cutout of the owner. Because Lou makes it clear that basically, if you know, breaking down the math, we need 32 wins. Now, at this point, we if there's 1661s, 121 games played, that means they're gonna have to go 32 and nine. Yeah. And they'll back half back chunk of the season. That's a run. That's a hell of a run. Holy cow. Uh but then we get a montage of fans, American Express commercials, old men playing checkers and wild thing t-shirts, Willie tackling bat and gloves to the wall. Um, let me say it again. Willie tacking batting gloves to the wall. Uh, newspaper headlines, clothing being torn off the cutout, and lots of satty faces from Rachel. Right. She's pissy. So we don't know exactly how they're doing, but apparently they're doing quite well. The town would like.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:32

The town is a buzz. They are a buzz. Yeah. Ooh, we got a team. There's a statue with uh an Indian's hat on it. Yeah. There's people are talking now. Oh, they're getting into it.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:43

Yeah. They're pumped. They have caught fire and they've battled into first place, and they finish tied with their rivals, the Yankees. Yep. Fucking yeah. At the top of the American League East. And really comes down to a one-game playoff to decide who wins the division. Is there anything worse than the Yanks?

SPEAKER_22 1:42:08

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:42:11

The evil Empire, the New York Yankees, Evil Empire. George Steinbrenner and his wallet. Who's your favorite little rascal?

SPEAKER_04 1:42:24

Alfalfa. Or Spanky. Um, but the team is is all excited. They're celebrating, they're coming down to the end, the town's a buzz, there are news reports, and just like so many movies have done prior to this one that we've talked about, we get this tropey moment where Roger Dorn's wife just happens to have the TV on at just the right time. She's watching the post-game celebration. And catches a shot in of Roger in the background covorting with another woman. Yeah. And like you may have heard before, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I have heard that. I've heard that as well. It's a theory I kind of subscribe to. Apparently, there's nothing worse than a scorned dorn. A dorns scorn.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:19

Dorn scorn is the worst kind. That was not, you put that together well.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:24

What is the one from Mallrad's, though? You need a lawyer for that. Hell hath no fear like a woman scorned for Sega. But it's the wheel.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:39

Vaughn finds out on the bus ride back to Cleveland that he's not going to be pitching the big game. That that Louis decides that Harris has a better record, and even though it's Ricky's turn of the rotation, you know, we're going to go with Harris, the the crafty vagisil flinging veteran. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:57

Well, and there's one hitter that's just owned Ricky.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:59

Yeah. The dude with the badass handlebar.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:03

Yeah, Clue Hayward. Yeah. What a name, Clue. Clue Haywood. Yeah. Clue? Clue Haywood. Clue. You want an interesting fun fact about Clue Haywood? I would love one. Okay. Clue Haywood was played by former Major League All-Star Pete Vukovich. Vukovich. Now Pete Vukovich was a pitcher. He was a pitcher for Milwaukee, who actually won the Cy Young Award. Wow. That way. Yep. In 1982, the year the Cardinals beat them in the World Series.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:36

That's a beefy dude for a pitcher.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:38

Yep. He was a three-time All-Star and Cy Young Award winner, pitcher for the Milwaukee Brewers.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:42

And now that's David Wells territory. But beefier. That is the guy who had the big handlebar. Handlebar mustache, right? Yeah. We're talking like all the way down to the chin.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:54

Yeah. Okay. He was a pitcher? No, yeah, yeah. He in real life he was a pitcher, not a hitter. Wow. Yeah, isn't that crazy? That is crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:01

Pete Bukowich. I bet that felt real good for him to play a guy who could hit a home run. Yeah. Oh, I bet that was nice. Well, that was before the uh DH.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:13

Well, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:15

So this was That's the American League.

SPEAKER_05 1:45:16

Well, he was the Milwaukee was in the American League at that time, so it would have been a designated hitter. Yeah, so he never had enough bat in the majors. Really? Yeah. Okay. But they cast him as like the big Yankee home run hitter. That's hilarious. And I thought it was hilarious too. I thought that was a fun little nugget.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:33

So while Vaughn is drinking himself at a silly at a bar because, you know, mourning his loss of the opportunity to play against the Yankees in the big game. He's the sandstark. He's approached by a rather fetching woman in a red dress. Oh, very fetching. Who who says she doesn't chase baseball players. Then why are you here? Because you're the sexiest man I've ever seen in my whole life, and you look like you need a friend. Um check. And so we cut from the bar to Ricky's up bedroom. Yeah. Uh post Coitus. Yep, where he in the morning, where he lives with Jake Taylor. And we find out with his conversation with the woman in red that her name is Suzanne Dorn. Right the wife of Roger Dorn. Uh-oh. The third baseman of the team he plays on. She was getting back at him for cavortin' with that lady in the post-game celebration. And so then she walks out of the room, and Jake sees her walk out of the room because Jake knows who Suzanne is. Because one scene we didn't talk about, Jake does go to Roger's house and threatens to cut his throat if he ever blows a play again. Right. Uh so he's met Suzanne, so he knows who she is, and he knows that she just fucked Ricky and that shit's gonna go down. Yep. Oh boy. Now he tried to protect him too. Yeah, that was pretty cunning on her part. Yeah. I I got I have to ask a question about their living arrangement. Uh-huh. Um, because it really seems like they're living almost in a dormitory. I thought it was like an apartment. Okay. Now, we learned from the conversation that Jake had at the dinner party that he crashed that he makes league minimum. Sure. I assume most of the guys in the team are making league minimum. Uh-huh. League minimum in 1989 when the movie came out was $62,000 a year. Okay. Now that's the equivalent of $183,000 today. These guys were not poor. They might not have been superstars, but they weren't doing bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:48

Why are they living like like it's in squalor? Well, it wasn't really squalor, they were living like frat boys. Okay. Maybe he had past debts. Alright.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:58

Maybe. Because they were only making like a minimum. They were just compiling together and just being like, hey, let's save some cash because we never know what's going to happen after this season.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:09

But okay, so we we see and it didn't bother me, I guess, when I saw the scene of just Ricky and and Jake sharing a room. Because I I I also know sometimes professional athletes, a veteran, will take a rookie under their wing. Right. And we'll kind of, or sometimes even players, when they come to a new town, they'll stay with a veteran in their house. Like a host player. Exactly. So I kind of thought it was that situation. But then the next scene we get, all the players are heading to the game, and Willie's like, hey, Jake, just you know, Serrano wants to sacrifice a live chicken. They're not walking into the stadium. They're walking out of their apartment building or whatever it might be. They all all these players live in the same building. No, I thought I thought that scene was in the stadium. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:50

Yeah, taking the stairwell down to the locker room.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:52

I thought they were taking the stairwell down to you know, head to the stadium.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:57

No, I thought they were already the same.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:58

Okay, well, maybe I'm wrong then.

SPEAKER_05 1:49:00

But still, you would think they would have better living quarters.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:02

Yeah. Because, you know, the median individual income at that time was 18,000. So they're making three times what the average American did at that point.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:14

So but you gotta think about it too, is like they like okay, so even what's his name? Uh Jake Taylor was pulled from Mexico to Cleveland.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:27

Where's the first place you're gonna like you're not gonna like buy a mansion? No, not saying you can buy a mansion, but like but you're you're certain you can get an apartment. Yeah. You know, like I mean, I I could see that. Like, and I could also see like especially knowing that you may not even make the team. Like you're just invited to spring training, right? You have no idea, like, okay, well I made it, so I'm gonna get this apartment. I don't know where I'm gonna be next to your I'm not gonna buy something extravagant. I could see that. I could see 'em all living in kind of kind of s squalor, like. your first year. You know, if you got something better, like an extension or something, I could see maybe throwing down some deeper roots.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:07

Now I know from experience at the minor league level where players were at that when I was working at that at the low A, players are only making like 12 grand a year. Right. So you would have a situation where you have four players sharing an apartment.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:22

Yeah. I'm glad Major League Baseball changed that rule. That now they have to provide housing for their players. That's a big step. Because you would have, like you said, four guys living in a two-room apartment sleeping on air mattresses in the living room. And then expected to go perform like a professional athlete. That sucks. Yeah, that does sucks. Yeah so now the they changed the rules where Major League Baseball has to provide housing and I think it's one or two meals a day. Because a lot of these guys couldn't even pay for food.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:57

Yeah you would get a per diem. Yeah. And it wasn't even necessarily that big but some guys they would just pool that together and just go buy a bunch of ramen. Right. That's off.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:07

And that whatever extra was on top of it, that was just added income that they could use for but I've got to but I've got to go execute as a professional athlete on ramen and try and air mattresses.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:17

And try to make it up to the next level. Right. And you're not there's no protein. Yeah. There's nothing to fuel yourself.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:24

No nutritionist.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:26

No that's awful.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:27

But now it's now it's better.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:29

A little bit different.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:31

Well as for the game um this is the big game the playoff this is gonna decide all the marbles for the division. Right. This is this decides who makes the playoffs. And we get a lot of action and I think overall the the the cinematography of the baseball through this whole sequence is pretty dang good. It is pretty good.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:50

And so is the music in the background.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:52

Yeah it builds Teddy high as the mood yeah um as far as the action goes we Eddie Harris he he gives up two runs late in the game and we're we're battling through it's pretty close. But they're down to nothing until Dorn can get gets on base.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:07

You know and I have to I have to give kudos here to the crowd. Yeah I think during this game I think the crowd was like they were extra into it? The 12th man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:23

Was this this was this what you were there for? Yeah this is what I was there for so how tell us more about how did you end up being what did you have to go through a process?

SPEAKER_05 1:52:33

Yeah okay so it was the Cleveland Indians and to get these crowd shots they needed to sell out the game and they weren't going to sell it out. So what they did was they opened the stadium for this game and said every seat is free. We're not gonna charge admission first come first serve. Whenever you get there, you pick where you want to sit so we got there at about two in the afternoon for a night game. We had a little cooler and picnic and everything and we sat about eight rows behind the the Indians dugout um and just hung out. And then the game started and they would play half an inning and then in between innings there was an elongated pause and they would have directions on the big screen that would flash up it's amazing and uh I actually I actually met Tom Berenger. Wow I had uh I had an Indian's hat and Tom Berenger signed my hat. No way Yeah yeah I had no frickin' clue who he was I was I was 13 I don't I don't know this guy. Do you still have you hadn't watched Platoon at that point? Was that you hadn't watched Platoon? No I had not watched Platoon at 13. Yeah it's somewhere I've got it somewhere.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:41

Um but yeah and then they would play the the other half inning and then they would take a break and put instructions on the screen and play fun music and So when you say play were they actually just playing the game out like a normal game?

SPEAKER_05 1:53:54

Yeah they play the game like a normal game. But then you know in between innings they would have uh the actors come out and do a few things like some of the some of the real dramatic shots like Jake Taylor running to first and you know that he didn't do that. That was shot elsewhere but they had um you know Charlie Sheen would would walk in through the bullpen that that happened like four innings in a row. Yeah you know in between they would have him walk in from the bullpen um and they'd tell the crowd to go crazy and cheer and jump around and stuff. Um yeah and they played the entire game like the game took forever now I bet. But uh did you sit there and go wow dang you make my heart sick. I I don't know if they played that song to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:44

No can't no they because they wouldn't have because like I said that was a decision made in editing posts. Oh right right yeah it was just probably some I honestly I doubt they would have played music at all because they want to just capture the the intake of the sound of the crowd.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:58

Okay alright yeah and so there there is a shot in the movie where people in the crowd are singing wild things but that that wasn't at Cleveland Stadium. They did that and posted another podcast probably a second unit.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:11

Right. Um so yeah or used it something else and then they're like you know what it would work better at the end if we add the music to it. Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:18

So you know they would just have us cheer real loud or you know act like your favorite team just scored the last run to win the World Series. Three, two, one, go and everyone's it's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:30

It was fun.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:31

What a fun thing to be a part of right especially when you're 13. It was cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:34

I I've never been an extra but I have had the chance to watch a movie being shot before uh that kind of scale. Oddly also in Cleveland. Oh interesting so I was in Cleveland for a work thing many many years ago when they were shooting scenes for the first Avengers movie. I didn't know they shot that thing they shot a lot of it in Cleveland because it doubled for New York and a few other places. So so there we we got I don't know why but the guy the people I I went to this I I was working my co-workers that I traveled with to this thing for this event we the decision was made instead of taking a bus or taking a cab from the airport to the hotel let's take the train or take the transit system. Oh no and so we did that and I don't care it was fine I take transits all the time doesn't bother me but where we got off then we had a nice long walk to where our hotel was which again I don't mind but as we're walking along I look over to the left and I see a car that looks like it has European license plates on it. Then I look over to the left and I see this giant truck this big big rigs parked along the road that has a Marvel sticker Marvel studio sticker or magnet on the door and then I look over to the left again and I see people running out of this this building screaming and then I hear a director calling and so they were shooting scenes so so if you've ever watched the Avengers there's a movie where look a scene where Loki comes in and attacks an opera house. Uh-huh I watched them shoot that over the outs the exteriors of the reaction shots I I stood there and watched for three straight hours. Oh it's it's engrossing isn't it and and the amount of time and I'm sure that what you saw worked a lot faster than a Marvel set. Yeah. But I sat there for three hours I think I only saw them run the scene four times. Wow and then the next day I actually found where the I actually did a little bit of research and and found where they were shooting some other things. I actually got to watch um from a distance where they were shooting like an Avengers battle in the streets with cars flipping. Oh that's cool. So that was cool also again yeah yeah so Cleveland they shoot some stuff there.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:40

Yeah yeah plenty of plenty space available a river on fire and film production and Marvel movies.

SPEAKER_05 1:57:47

Yeah okay I do have to say in the recent decade they've really done a lot to clean that Cleveland's a pretty nice town it is a pretty clear I enjoy going to Cleveland they've got the they've got a place called the Flats which is like um you know shops and restaurants and all that stuff they built the new stadium and they built the new basketball arena I mean Drew Carey would tell you that Cleveland rocked that's it does rock. He has said that the rock and roll hall of fame is there.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:16

Many times and brewed beer there too Buzzbeer which the coffee beer I think they they're ahead of the time they absolutely were definitely now I do like their competitor you remember their fake competitor that came along and made cat beer chino I thought that was a much better name than Buzzbeer but uh you know whatever.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:38

Anyway back to the movie uh Roger Dorn gets on base uh which then brings Serrano to the plate and he he's struggling still with the curveball uh swings and misses on a couple but then you know he he has a brief conversation with Joe Boo's tough not your boo Tick up for you no help me now I do it myself anyway so I mean so then in the um oh we're sorry so Pedro finally conquers his weakness of hitting a curveball and if you notice the pitcher doesn't throw a curveball yeah the pitcher throws a fastball I don't know why he doesn't throw a curveball maybe it's his own ego I'm gonna get him out with a fastball right button but they they tell us a curve it's a curveball and I'm not gonna question it because movie and there's so many other things I've had to question at a greater level I'm gonna let this one slide. Okay um and ultimately drives in uh two runs between him and Dorn and so now it's tied up now it's tied.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:46

Did you notice that Serrano carried his bat around the bases?

SPEAKER_05 1:59:51

I was so I was so worried when I was a kid when I was 13 14 and saw this movie when it came out I thought they're gonna call him out for carrying his bat around the bases he carried it all the way around because in the league I played if you carried your bat around the bases they would call you out.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:08

That's a no no and so I thought being an idiot they're gonna call him out they didn't well um at the top of the ninth inning with the bases loaded um and slugger clue haywood Mr. mustache himself at the plate yeah Lou decides maybe it's time to pull Harris because he he's just out of gas and so instead he brings in Vaughn yeah um the crowd goes nuts they did wild thing as he struts to the mound from the bullpen wild thing playing added in post bringing it all home adding a just a shit ton of energy to the moment but before this when Lou Brown came out to the mound and said get me Vaughn Jake Taylor's like wait what are you sure?

SPEAKER_05 2:01:00

Because he knows I got a feeling he's due that he knows that Vaughn just banged Dorne's wire he's got that extra juice flowing.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:09

Uh-huh so he doesn't want Ricky in the game because he doesn't want that uh interaction and then Ricky comes in the game gets on the mound and Dorne is too Dorne comes straight to the mound and goes to the mound and it looks like a confrontation's about to to go down but instead um we get this cut through the crap ball I only got one thing to say to you strike this motherfucker out yay rose before hose right there that's right yeah that is right well Vaughn strikes Haywood out on three blazing fastballs topping out at 101 miles an hour but the game isn't over it's still tight we're going to the bottom the bottom of the ninth uh we're I like how your voice just went like radio broadcaster baseball game guy bottom of the ninth and we're back things are getting tight here at Cleveland Stadium folks let me puke my boost it's the bottom of the ninth and Wheelie Mays Hayes reached an unfield single and he's getting ready to steal second base with Jake Taylor at the plate.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:29

Yeah Brian where's your colors I bought a hundred of these one for each base I'm gonna steal uh Jake after a long series of signals back and forth from the from Lou to the base coach to Jake and back they've they've got a plan. They do and uh Jake appears to be calling his shot by pointing to center field but instead of the point in celebration again and the team celebrates like they just won the World Series even though they haven't they've only won the division but that's something it is I mean they were supposed I mean they it's a dead last like we we get shots of the owner's box where Rachel is looking super satty faced but but but Donovan is is clapping and excited and she shoots him a dirty look and he just gives her big raspberry in response and goes back to clapping.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:49

Uh-huh that's where I was happy that Charlie stood up for himself a little bit like that.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:55

You know I I do wonder why is she even unhappy at this point. She's making money she's made more money this season than she probably ever has. She sold more tickets this season she than they have in years. She has spent squat to make that happen. Right there's no budget she she wants that uh that place down in Boca Ratan she does hell yeah well she probably made enough money this season to go do that sell the team sell the team yeah you had a profitable team you could definitely do that now you you've got you know a chance in fact that is what happens in the sequel she does sell the team but to Dorn to Dorn who in turn sells it back to her but Jesus I didn't even know there's a sequel yeah there's there's a sequel there's three yeah no there's usually one and two and then I think they do have in the universe of of major league sequels but it's back to the minors back to the minors where they now play for the Minnesota Twins and they're coached by Scott Baccula yes Okie dokie all of that we're not gonna happens we're not gonna go there.

SPEAKER_05 2:06:06

No Serrano's still on the team though he's like the only one is he really I believe so he's like fuck it I'm I'm messing with it.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:13

Also in the sequel Willie Mays Hayes is no longer played by Wesley Snipes.

SPEAKER_05 2:06:16

No he was played by Omar Epps yeah oh he got he got phased out well I guess got too big he got too big for the movies but Rune Russo is in the second one and so is Jake much I don't think but yeah Jake Taylor she's in there just for a minute yeah yeah who she's sad I I think that honestly it worked out all right.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:40

I mean she's been made the villain but I I think while it didn't go to plan it could have been a lot worse. Sure she's gonna be alright. Yeah I'm not worried for her I just feel a little sad for her yeah uh Dorn how why why do you feel sad for her? Because you know honestly again I think that she inherited a bad situation she thought she had found a way to make it better uh and then it just didn't work out and that's okay that's life her plan didn't work out but she still made a ton of money.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:16

I know that's just it I don't feel that bad I'm not sad for her one bit.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:20

Um just because her plan didn't come to fruition but it will later I suppose I I think we could have got at least a begrudging clap or something at this point like alright you guys you got me but no instead we just go down with just sucking a bitter pill. Right. She went and she walked away. Yep. Dorne has his moment to punch Vaughn in the face.

SPEAKER_05 2:07:44

Yeah so so Dorn finds Vaughn in the middle of the celebration and remember Vaughn just poked his wife right not knowing it was his wife and he goes up to him in the middle of the celebration and just cold cocks him. Yeah he helps him up and helps him up celebrate and they hug. That's just what dudes do that's what brothers do just dudes being dudes.

SPEAKER_04 2:08:08

They hug and they punch boys being boys I got mine but I love you brother you got your ears I got mine and we're square because because apparently again Jake has just this radar that he can just sense Lynn in a crowd of thousands happens to see her in the in the stands it's it's called true love. Bullshit um and she holds up her hand to reveals I don't have a ring anymore I'm no longer engaged. She broke up with a douchebag fiance. And so then Jake lifts her up and brings her on the field and they smooch and they're happy and in love and blah blah blah. And then well that's the movie yeah that's the movie that's the movie. Yeah. Now that we've gone through all the ebbs and flows of Major League let's take a moment and talk about our third beer of the podcast.

SPEAKER_05 2:09:07

Oh here's that crazy music and let me introduce you to a crazy beer. Tell us about your beer this was Brian's choice for the episode. I love your emphasis on Brian's stories. Brian tell us all about the beer you brought from Mill Pond Brewing a local brewer from Milstadt Illinois. Uh-huh so this one went with the movie for all those Cardinal fans out there you remember when Ozzy Smith hit the home run against the Dodgers and uh Jack Buck had the legendary call Smith Quark's one down the line go crazy folks go crazy well this beer is called Goza crazy folks it sure is and it's a goza beer uh which I bought it because of the name I thought it was awesome there's baseball stitching on the can it really fit the baseball theme of the movie for this beer's terrible tell us what a goza is Brian it's a sour beer it sure is it's a distinct historically German sour wheat beer traditionally characterized by a slightly tart fruity flavor an herbal touch of coriander and a crisp salty finish I will fight back on the slightly tart it is way tart now I did not know what a goza was when I bought this uh I never would have I have an inherent disdain for all sour beers uh yeah I think sour beers taste like licking the sweat off of a fat guy's hairy back now in the case of this beer I'm gonna say you took that sweat and filtered it through some ground up sweet tarts.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:59

Ooh I'm gonna take it a little bit further yeah those ground up sweet tarts were in that fat hairy guy's butt crack.

SPEAKER_05 2:11:07

Is that where the skunkiness comes from? That's where the skunkiness comes from so you know Mill Pond I'm sure you guys make some decent beers this being a sour goes against every fiber of my being and taste buds. This beer was absolutely terrible.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:23

This was a beer that got poured out on the rocks in your front yard this this goza crazy folks awesome name fit the theme so well awful beer awful awful beer I remember the first time we were at the Breeze fall festival uh homebrew festival and the first time we encountered a goza uh we didn't know even know how to pronounce it and we walked up and we were like ooh a goze what's that and we got chastised it's a goza goza The it's the director of beer. It sure is. It is pretentious, it is awful, it is one of those beers that I can't imagine anyone actually liking in real life. It's one of those beers that it's cool to like.

SPEAKER_04 2:12:18

I the only positive thing I can say about this particular beer is it is cider-y. So if you were really into super tart ciders, you could probably transition it into this more than you could many other beer varietals.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:37

If you like the aftertaste of vomit.

SPEAKER_05 2:12:40

Yeah. Well, yeah, it is it is vomitous.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:42

We all have our things. If you like it whenever you throw up and then you like can like you've got to swallow it.

SPEAKER_04 2:12:50

It's kind of like the Mikelo Golden Light. If it looks the same going in as it does coming out, it's a health food. If it tastes the same coming up as it did going down, maybe it's healthy. Uh I gotta disagree.

SPEAKER_05 2:13:06

This beer tastes like a verp. Or no, it tastes like you threw up and decided not to brush your teeth afterwards. Yeah. Big time.

SPEAKER_03 2:13:14

Yeah. I'm right there with you. You know when you get you like throw up and you're trying not to throw up more, so you swallow over and over and over and over and over and over, just trying to keep it down, but you have that taste in your mouth. That's what that is.

SPEAKER_04 2:13:27

Yeah, I I kind of felt that way on the last episode during the six degrees of Kevin Bacon sec.

SPEAKER_05 2:13:34

That was our fault, Justin. That was our fault. We were really bad. Well, and do you know how you know a sour is made by purposely introducing bacteria into the patch? Oh, it sours the batch. But I think the origin of sours was a mistake. And whoever did it was like, well, we can't afford to throw this out. Let's just call it a sour beer and mass market it. Let's poison the masses. Yeah. And so I yeah, I don't think this is something people enjoy. I think this is people something people say they enjoy.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:05

I'm not gonna say that people don't enjoy it, because there's people who enjoy all kinds of weird shit in this world that I would never want to imbibe myself. So if you enjoy a goza, good on you. For me, it's fucking garbage. Yeah, I'm right there with you. If any one of you ever bring one again, I'm gonna punch him in the nutsack.

SPEAKER_05 2:14:25

I would I I would deserve a punch in the nut. I almost deserve one now. Give me give me the watermelon wine coolers any day. Hey, but I do have to say, goza crazy, folks. Good name. It is a good name, and I get why you picked it. Yeah, that's the only reason. And to be honest, I learned something tonight.

SPEAKER_03 2:14:47

To be honest, like for the story itself, kudos to Millpon for also using Cardinal Hops. Oh, yeah. Nice touch.

SPEAKER_05 2:14:56

Oh, that's a well, that's a that's a cool tie-in. It's a great tie-in. Just an awful beer. I it is not off. This might be the first time on our show, and now we have like 3,000 episodes that we did not finish a beer. 29. 20, you are close. Uh this the first time we did not finish a beer. Yeah, we did not. We finished the barley wine.

SPEAKER_04 2:15:20

Yeah. I mean, I if I had to, like if I was a gun to my head, I could finish this, but I would rather not.

SPEAKER_03 2:15:27

It was a I would rather move on. It was a 16-ounce can, too. Like, if it was like a two-ounce can, I would have finished it. But anyway, I think that's a great idea, Seth.

SPEAKER_04 2:15:38

Let's move on. Let's move on. So we're gonna move on to some magic wands. Gentlemen, if you could wave your magic wand and change one thing and one thing only about Major League to make it a better movie, what would it be?

SPEAKER_03 2:15:55

You want me to go? Yeah, I want you to go. Okay. Because I kind of had a hard time with this, because it was pretty fun movie. Pretty good movie. Yeah. My only thing that I had was to give Willie Mays Hayes a little more to do in the third act. I thought he was just like this huge personality. And the time that he just burst out into training camp, earned his place. But once Ricky's redemption art kicks in and Jake's romance takes the center stage, he just kind of fades into the background. He gets his moments in the big game.

SPEAKER_04 2:16:32

In the big game with stealing bases and working his way around for a run. But man, you're right. I could have used his. He is a feature of the American Express phony commercial in the middle of the movie. Right. But yeah, he's kind of, I guess his story this thing.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:46

He was real big and then all of a sudden he was real small.

SPEAKER_05 2:16:49

Right, right. Then he kind of faded away.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:51

I would have liked to see the consistency of him being real big the entire time. Sure. He was a personality fit. He's the personality higher, right?

SPEAKER_04 2:17:01

Well, for me, I think we need to either drop the Jake Lynn romance or make it something less stalkery and creepy.

SPEAKER_05 2:17:08

You know, I'm with you on that.

SPEAKER_03 2:17:10

Because I I don't know. But then are we kind of getting into the like Bull Durham? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 2:17:15

Because the thing is, the idea of pursue here until she gives in may have flown in 1989, but today it kind of feels sad and a little scary. Uh he interrupts her date, he harasses her at work, he follows her home twice, he walks in uninvited three times, he was a bad boyfriend in the past, and he's an obsessive stalker today. Now, Lynn is a smart woman and quite frankly, sexy as hell. Yeah, she's a hottie. She can do better. And the fact that she eventually just swoons because he wears her down doesn't feel like romance to me. It kind of feels like Stockholm Syndrome.

SPEAKER_03 2:18:00

I can see that.

SPEAKER_05 2:18:00

You know, which ties into my magic wand. I, if I could change one thing for the movie, I would have her pursuing him instead of him pursuing her. Ooh, what a tweeze. You know, he's he's a major league ball player, he's back in town. Yeah. And and she's, you know, got the starry eyes for her ex-boyfriend. She never stopped loving him. He just moved to Mexico. Right. Right. So I think that kind of softens it up. And and I think some of the behavior, if the roles were reversed, is a little less creepy. It can be a little fatal attraction, though, even if you flip it. Yeah, but I don't I don't think it really got to that extent. But um, you know, I would soften that. But then again, I I think having her pursue him would have been a really neat uh spot line.

SPEAKER_04 2:18:51

Well guys, what do you say? We change some gears, okay? And do something, I don't know, maybe just a little bit silly. Oh, I like silly stuff. It's silly with my belly.

SPEAKER_03 2:19:00

Like Zoom.

SPEAKER_08 2:19:01

Got a robot on the mound, got a big foot playing first. Got a surfer in the outfield, though he might be the worst. Got a vampire calling signals, got a cowboy stealing home. If Hollywood made baseball, this is how it'd be done. It's movie league baseball. With the lineup don't make sense. We'll find somewhere they belong.

SPEAKER_04 2:19:41

Well, have you ever wondered what it would be like if you took a bunch of movie characters and threw them together on a baseball team just to see what happened? Yeah, me neither. But that's exactly what we're gonna do today. Okay. Now we're not trying to build the best team or even a good team. We're just gonna build a team. A team. A team. Not an A-team. Now, if I have learned if I have learned anything over the course of 29 podcast episodes with you two, it's that I should never put too much faith in your pop culture knowledge. Yes, perfect. 100% to give you guys a fighting chance. I've compiled a list of candidates pulled exclusively from the movies we've reviewed on this show. Okay. All right. So if you don't know these characters, that's on you. Okay. We should know some of these people.

SPEAKER_03 2:20:36

It should be on me.

SPEAKER_04 2:20:38

Inside my hat is one character from every movie we've covered on the regular guy movie show. Okay. 29 characters in there. Well, we had a couple episodes where we just uh shot the shit. So 27 characters. 27. All right. All right. Uh some of them you desperately, definitely want on your team. Uh-huh. Others you'll probably definitely hope not to have to deal with. Okay. I'm gonna draw the names one at a time. And as each character is revealed, you'll have to immediately assign them to a position on your team. Okay. Once a position is filled, it's locked. No substitutions, no traits, no moving people around because a better option came out later.

SPEAKER_01 2:21:24

Dang it.

SPEAKER_04 2:21:25

Okay. By the end, whether you've assembled a championship caliber roster or the cinematic equivalent of the 62 Mets is entirely up to you. Now, the positions you're gonna need to fill are the following pitcher, catcher, first base, second base, third base, shortstop, left field, center field, right field, designated hitter, and manager. So you each are gonna pick your own team. And so who wants to go first? Actually, tell you what, before I do that, before I start pulling names, I'm gonna give you each the opportunity to pick one player from major league and put him at any position you want, but you can't pick the same player. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 2:22:09

Okay. Justin, you can go ahead and go first. Lou Brown. Oh, he's gonna be your manager. He's my manager.

SPEAKER_04 2:22:16

Oh, you're not gonna put him in center field? Okay. Alright. Brian, who are you picking off the Indians? I guess it didn't have to be the Indians. Who are you picking from the Major League roster? I'm taking uh Wheelie May's Hayes for center field. Okay. Put him down.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:31

Not a bad choice.

SPEAKER_04 2:22:32

Now that means you each have ten positions still to fill. Justin, are you ready for your first player? Are you just picking him or I'm gonna pull him from the hat. And then I gotta choose. You gotta tell where you're gonna put him. Okay. I'm ready. Alright, your first player, Justin, is from Flash Gordon. Flash Gordon.

SPEAKER_22 2:22:56

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:58

That's a good pick. I'll pick that guy. I think I'm gonna put him in my DH. Not a bad pick at all. Flash. Gordon.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:08

Alright, Brian. He could probably hit a ball. I mean, I think stands a decent chance. He's a quarterback. I'd have put him at pitcher because of his arm strength. Ooh. Brian from UHF, Stanley Spadowski.

SPEAKER_23 2:23:21

Stanley Spadowski.

SPEAKER_05 2:23:24

Oh, let's see. Stanley Spadowski. Oh, that's been true. He's wiry. He is wiry.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:31

He's kind of a spazz. I can see him being a decent pitcher.

unknown 2:23:34

No.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:35

He swings a mop really well. DH would be a possibility. He could be a shortstop. He's a tall guy.

SPEAKER_05 2:23:41

Yeah. I'm going to put him at first base. Okay. Spadowski. Sounds like that. Justin.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:49

Back to you. I hate that movie.

SPEAKER_05 2:23:51

I know you do.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:53

Your next pick is. Oh, from Liar Liar. You get Jerry the Milktoast fiance. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:24:03

Alright. So he's going to be my right fielder. Yeah, I would swear I would put him. What was his name? Jerry. Jerry. Jerry Milktoast. This is what I'm going to put down.

SPEAKER_05 2:24:18

Hey, good job, champ.

SPEAKER_04 2:24:21

Way to go, pal. Way to go, buddy. All right, Brian. I'm ready. From Fast Times of Richmond High, you get Brad Hamilton. Brad Hamilton.

SPEAKER_05 2:24:32

Good old Brad. He's going to be your left out. Yeah. He is a bodic reward winner. That's very true. The weakest one ever. I'm going left field for Brad Hamilton. Left field? Yep. You put a lot of confidence in him. Well, you want your strongest arm in right. If you're facing a heavy right-handed hitting.

SPEAKER_04 2:24:53

Oh, Justin. What a pick. From Gremlins, Lynn fucking Peltzer.

SPEAKER_03 2:24:59

Oh shit. Oh, Lynn Peltzer. Oh, where do I want to put you? I'm going to put you. She's going to be my catcher. I like it. General of the field. Absolutely. She's calling that game. You just want to see her squat squat. I want to see her squat. And I want to see her jump up and kill people like from Robocop. Uh-huh. Robocop. Dude, this is awesome. That's probably the best pick. After you choose yours, I'll tell you where I would have put mine. I think that arm is a fucking candidate.

SPEAKER_05 2:25:38

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:25:38

He's my pitcher. That's where I was going to put him. Yep. Robocop. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_04 2:25:43

So it would be a shame in a DH league not to see him at the plate.

SPEAKER_03 2:25:48

His accuracy, though. Yeah. Pinpoint. Laser accuracy. That's money. Well, he killed his kid playing catch with him. He did. Yeah. Kid couldn't hang. He was throwing coach pitch and he killed all the kids. That's why they burned the picture. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:26:05

All right, Justin, from Romancing the Stone, you get General Zolo.

SPEAKER_02 2:26:14

General Zolo.

SPEAKER_03 2:26:15

I should have saved that for my manager. I think General Zolo is gonna be my left field John Wilder.

SPEAKER_04 2:26:30

Well, he was awfully pretty handy with some driftwood at the end of the movie, too.

SPEAKER_05 2:26:33

But he only has one hand.

SPEAKER_04 2:26:35

I know.

SPEAKER_05 2:26:35

He's like that no harm second baseman.

SPEAKER_04 2:26:38

He's not caught up Brian ever. From Pretty Woman, Vivian Ward.

SPEAKER_05 2:26:46

Ooh. Vivian Ward. Man, if there was a pinch runner, I'd put her in as pinch runner. Um, Vivian Ward's gonna be my second baseman. Vivi.

SPEAKER_04 2:26:57

She might need to change into some more sensible shoes. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:27:00

You can't wear those goofy boots. You know, she's gonna have good range. She's gonna have a weak arm, so I put her at second. Makes sense. It's a good way to go. All right.

SPEAKER_04 2:27:08

Justin from The Last Starfighter.

SPEAKER_03 2:27:12

Grig. Oh, that's a good one. Grig. Alright. So Grig is gonna be the captain of my outfield and center field. You know, he's like 800 years old, right? Yeah, but man, he's an alien.

SPEAKER_04 2:27:26

Yeah, guanas move fast when they got. Though, you know, being at center field with all that heat, though, his body temperature regulation is gonna have some issues. Right. He's gonna well, he has like eight eyelids. All right. I think kind of in the same vein. Uh, Brian from Fire in the Sky, you get the turtle-faced alien. Oh, the turtle-faced alien.

SPEAKER_03 2:27:53

Does it really say turtle-faced alien? It does. That's what I wrote. Oh my god, that's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_05 2:27:59

Turtle face alien. He's my manager. Yeah? Yeah, turtle-faced alien. That's that's actually a pretty smart play.

SPEAKER_04 2:28:04

You could see in the souls of people. All right, Justin, back to you. I say this just as you're taking a swig of your backup replacement beer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:28:14

Yeah, we're back to the summer ale. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 2:28:17

Oh my gosh. Brian, you're gonna be so pissed. Justin, you get from twins Julius Benedict.

SPEAKER_03 2:28:23

Oh man. He's so big. He's gonna be my first baseman. Yeah, good call there.

SPEAKER_05 2:28:30

Julius. I'd have gone first base for DH, but you already filled your DH with uh uh with your should have been pitcher.

SPEAKER_04 2:28:37

Okay. Flash. I think this would be a very versatile player, Brian. Okay. From Orgasmo, Choda Boy. Oh, love Choda Boy. He's got some hustle. Yep, Choda Boy's innovative.

SPEAKER_05 2:28:49

He's my shortstop. I was gonna say he would be a good shortstop. He's my David Eckstein. Heck yeah. He's gonna throw the balls to first base.

SPEAKER_04 2:28:58

Can you just imagine the bats that he would bring to the plate? Oh just all big diltos. They're all veiny.

SPEAKER_16 2:29:05

My bats are being.

SPEAKER_04 2:29:06

Oh, Justin. Like this pick was made just for you. From Rad, we get Crew Jones.

SPEAKER_03 2:29:15

Crew, I'm gonna put him at second base. Crew Jones. Because is he on his bicycle? There's just not a lot going on in second base.

SPEAKER_04 2:29:26

Alright, Brian. Yes. From Halloween. Uh-huh. Michael Myers. Ooh, Michael Myers. Make a good catcher.

SPEAKER_05 2:29:38

His catcher spot's open. It is? I'm thinking either catcher or DH. I see. I think third base. Yeah. I think he's got the arm strength to get it there. He does. And he's got hella range. He's strong. Yeah, let's go third base with Michael Myers. I think he'd do well in the hotbox. Although if he was the catcher, he'd sure intimidate the hitters. Oh, fuck it. He'd just like cut them in their ankles.

SPEAKER_04 2:30:05

Alright, Justin. From Dirty Dancing, where are you going to put Baby Houseman? Oh gross.

SPEAKER_23 2:30:13

Baby!

SPEAKER_04 2:30:14

You're not going to put her in the corner.

SPEAKER_03 2:30:16

You've got a pitching slot available, third base, shortstop. And that's it. You know what? I am going to put her in the corner and I'm going to put her at third base. Oh man. I don't have like she's not my shortstopst. She's not my shortstop. Nobody puts baby at the corners. She is definitely not a pitcher. No.

SPEAKER_04 2:30:37

She couldn't even carry the water. We got three spots to fill, and one of them is gonna go to from Harry and the Hendersons. Harry. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_05 2:30:46

Harry's my DH. Oh, he could smack a ball. Harry Henderson. Nice call.

SPEAKER_04 2:30:53

Justin. Pat and cleanup.

unknown 2:30:56

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 2:30:57

From Poltergeist. Tangina!

SPEAKER_02 2:31:02

Son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_03 2:31:05

God damn it. All I have left is pitcher and shortstop. Yeah, you do. That's awful. That is awful. I'm gonna put it in his channel shortstop, I guess.

SPEAKER_05 2:31:18

Tangina. Limited range. But this inning is clear.

SPEAKER_03 2:31:26

Yeah, it is. I mean, maybe she could do some stuff with her mind. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 2:31:29

I don't know. Brian from the Blair Witch project. We're gonna put Heather Donahue.

SPEAKER_05 2:31:34

Heather Donahue's going in. Is she a catcher or your right fielder? Oh, I'm debating. I'm putting right field. Okay. Heather Donahue, because I don't want to hear her talking. I want her as far away as possible.

SPEAKER_04 2:31:53

Ooh. Justin from the Burbs. Art Wein Gardener. You only got one spot left, so he is gonna be your pitcher.

SPEAKER_03 2:32:00

Art's my pitcher. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

SPEAKER_05 2:32:05

Well, he'll have the outfit.

SPEAKER_03 2:32:07

He will. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:32:08

He can do that. And Brian, your catcher will be drum roll. From second hand lions. Yeah. Hub McCann.

SPEAKER_03 2:32:16

Perfect. Not bad. That's exactly where I would put Hub. That's so funny. I thought you were gonna say the kid, and that would have been hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 2:32:25

Okay. Now, to give your team a fighting chance, I'm gonna let you, if you choose to do so, pick one player from your roster, and I will offer you a trade.

SPEAKER_06 2:32:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:32:42

Whatever these two are in my hand, I will give you for considerations in cash. Okay. Alright. Players to be named later, so on and so forth. So who you want to swap? Do you want to swap number one? Justin, do you want to swap a player? I do. Okay? Pick left or right. Who are you trading first? Okay, who you trading? Tangina.

SPEAKER_03 2:33:11

Yeah, I'm gonna I want to get rid of Tangina in my shortstop. Okay. Alright, you gotta pick. Left or right hand. Uh right. Who you got? Right as Might. Oh, let's go. Let's go. Who'd you get? I have Pony Boy Curtis. You know what? I'll take it. I'll take it. He's back. That is an upgrade at shortstop.

SPEAKER_04 2:33:36

And Pony Boy is in. Alright, Brian, do you want to rake make a trade?

SPEAKER_05 2:33:43

I will trade my second baseman, Vivian Ward. Okay. Left or right. Oh, so give her the choice.

SPEAKER_03 2:33:49

You got more tickets.

SPEAKER_04 2:33:51

I'm almost done. This is the last thing we'll do before we move on.

SPEAKER_03 2:33:54

Can we not trade more? I guess we I've got.

SPEAKER_04 2:34:00

Well, there will be four more after this. So if you want, we can keep, but honestly, I'd like to, you know, move out.

SPEAKER_05 2:34:05

I will take your left hand.

SPEAKER_04 2:34:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 2:34:09

Uh-oh. He's passing me the script. Who you got? So my second baseman is going to be from Empire Records.

SPEAKER_09 2:34:20

Mark! Mark! I'll take that.

SPEAKER_03 2:34:25

That's an upgrade from Vivian. Is it? Yeah. Alright, he's not gonna see a thing. So dude's tripping.

SPEAKER_04 2:34:33

Just to recap for those who haven't been keeping score on your own. Uh Brian has Robocop, Hub, Stanley, Mark, Michael Myers, Choda Boy, Brad, Willie Mays Hayes, Heather, Harry, and the Turtle Faced Alien. Yep. I like it. That's a good lineup right there. Justin has Art Weingartner, Lynn Peltzer, Julius, Crew Jones, Baby Houseman, Pony Boy, Zolo, Grig, Jerry, Flash Gordon, and Lou Brown.

SPEAKER_03 2:35:10

Man, I'm kind of like baby's a pretty weak link there.

SPEAKER_04 2:35:15

Let me ask you guys, which two players on each of your teams absolutely cannot coexist in the same clubhouse? Who are your problem children?

SPEAKER_05 2:35:27

Stanley Spadowski and Michael Myers.

SPEAKER_04 2:35:31

Oh yeah, I can see that there being some issues.

SPEAKER_03 2:35:34

So I have General Zolo, who's not gonna get along with anybody. He's got one arm. One hand. But I think he's gonna really, really fight. Oh, he's gonna fight with Art.

SPEAKER_04 2:35:55

You're probably not wrong. Him and Art aren't gonna get along. Which of your players becomes the unquestioned team captain?

SPEAKER_05 2:36:03

Pope McCann. Damn straight. Julius Benedict. Ow. I I mean Only if you read the manual.

SPEAKER_04 2:36:12

I think you got some good leadership on your team. Lynn Peltzer would be talent captain. A little bit lacking.

SPEAKER_03 2:36:19

I'm gonna stick with Julius. Okay. He's gonna he's a good idea. And Greg would be a great leader. He's gonna turn it around for everybody. Flash. Flash led the Jets. Right? But but Julius is so positive. Okay. You need that positivity.

SPEAKER_04 2:36:33

Which of your players is the practical joker in the clubhouse? Art. Yeah. Okay. Who is the first player to demand a trade?

SPEAKER_05 2:36:47

Heather Donahue, because she just bitches a lot. Jerry Milktoast.

SPEAKER_04 2:36:52

Which player is secretly the glue that holds the team together? Secretly?

SPEAKER_03 2:36:57

Yeah. Oh, that's Pony Boy. Yeah, right. I could see that. Pony Boy's gonna hold them all. He's gonna be like, hey guys, it's okay. I replaced Angina. And I'm here.

SPEAKER_04 2:37:10

But the locker room was so clear before.

SPEAKER_05 2:37:12

We're all playing together. For me, I think the glue of this team is Chota Boy. Chotaboy. I see it.

SPEAKER_04 2:37:19

Now I could also see with Pony Boy, though, he'd be looking at the division between the two teams. So why's it always gotta be this team and that team? Why can't we just be people?

SPEAKER_03 2:37:27

Let's read Gone with the Wind, man.

SPEAKER_04 2:37:31

Who accidentally says something that gets them canceled? Flash Gordon. Mark. Mark Empire Records. Okay. And who lands the biggest endorsement deal? Oh, Lynn Peltzer.

SPEAKER_05 2:37:49

I think Harry from Harry and the Hendersons.

SPEAKER_02 2:37:52

Ooh.

SPEAKER_05 2:37:53

I think he gets the biggest, yeah, the biggest endorsement deal. Even over Robocop. It was between he and Robocop. The squatch soap. But yes.

SPEAKER_22 2:38:01

The squatch.

SPEAKER_03 2:38:03

Yeah. He's got an endorsement built in. He's got one already.

SPEAKER_04 2:38:08

Now, if your team experience or team's experience was turned into a movie, what would it be called?

SPEAKER_03 2:38:18

Hmm. Major losers.

SPEAKER_05 2:38:26

Let's see. The misfits.

SPEAKER_04 2:38:30

The misfits. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 2:38:31

Alright.

SPEAKER_04 2:38:32

Alright. Well, in case you're curious, here are the players that you missed out on. Okay. From Parenthood, we have Gil Buckman. Alright. You could have also got from Mr. Mom. Carolyn Butler. She's my cheerleader. You could have had good panties. From Speed, Howard Payne. Been a great manager. Yeah, he would have been. He would have blown up the opposition. Or from Uncle Buck, Buck Russell. But you didn't get any of those. You got what you got. Buck could have been a big thing. And there we have it. Somehow we've managed to assemble a baseball team, or two teams rather, featuring heroes, villains, monsters, psychopaths, and at least one person who probably should not be allowed within 500 feet of a little league field. Would they win the World Series? Michael Myers? No. Would they make for the greatest post-game press conference in sports history? Absolutely. Now, before our owner decides to trade half this roster for a new stadium in Miami, let's get back to our talk about Major League.

SPEAKER_08 2:39:35

It's Movie League Baseball. With the lineup don't make sense. Don't drop another names out. We'll find somewhere they belong. Movie League Baseball, play ball and play along.

SPEAKER_04 2:39:56

Hey, I think that was a lot of fun, Seth. Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. And that was a catchy tune. Yeah, I wanted to get something that was similar to Randy Newman, but apparently when you type into the AI, give me a Randy Newman style song, it does not like that.

SPEAKER_05 2:40:12

Oh. So I I found this very similar to uh oh, what's that one song? The Cheapseats? Oh, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:40:20

Yeah. I like that. Well, I appreciate that. Uh-huh. Anyway, what do you say we move on and pick some poison? Ooh, I like poison. I mean, I not think poison. Let's start things off with films from the same year. Would you rather watch Major League or Field of Dreams?

SPEAKER_03 2:40:35

I'm gonna go Major League.

SPEAKER_05 2:40:38

You know, I saw Field of Dreams for the first time about two years ago. I've avoided it. Because of Kevin Costner and the hubbub around it, you know, when people make a big deal out of things, I tend to want to avoid it. Pick your poison, Brian. Come on.

SPEAKER_04 2:40:53

What's up, major league? Major League or Batman?

SPEAKER_03 2:40:59

Which Batman?

SPEAKER_04 2:41:00

The first one. Major League.

SPEAKER_03 2:41:02

Major League.

SPEAKER_04 2:41:04

Uh yeah, Major League. Major League or Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Indiana Jones. Agreed. Major League or Honey, I shrunk the kids. Ooh, I'm gonna go honey. I'm gonna go Major League. I'll go Major League.

SPEAKER_03 2:41:19

Give me some honey.

SPEAKER_04 2:41:20

Major League or Back to the Future Part 2.

SPEAKER_05 2:41:24

Oh, I'll go two. As long as it's not three. If you'd have said one, I'd have gone back to the future. But two, I'm going Major League.

SPEAKER_04 2:41:31

Yeah, I think two might have been my least favorite of the three. So I'm gonna go Major League. You liked three, where they went to the Wild West. It was better than two. Two is terrible, too, but I think I like three because of Mary Steenbergen. Oh, gross. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:41:46

I don't care. That's so stupid. That's like the worst one.

SPEAKER_04 2:41:49

Yeah, yeah. Let's make a time machine out of a train. Alright, let's talk about some movies from the baseball movie Hall of Fame. Major League or Bull Durham. I've never seen Bull Durham, really. Oh, this is getting hard. I mean, Susan Sarandon.

SPEAKER_05 2:42:03

Yeah. I really like Duke Lelouch. Yeah. Duke Lelouche. Mm-hmm. Ah, Bull Durham, just but not really.

SPEAKER_04 2:42:12

I think I'll stick Major League.

SPEAKER_05 2:42:13

I'm gonna stick Major League, too.

SPEAKER_04 2:42:14

Okay. Major League or the Sandlot. I'm gonna go Sandlot, Sandlot.

SPEAKER_05 2:42:19

Yeah. Sandlot. Sandlot's great.

SPEAKER_04 2:42:23

Smoors. How can I have more if I haven't had any yet? Major League versus a League of Their Own. Major League. I think I'm gonna go League of their own. I'm gonna go Major League on that one.

SPEAKER_03 2:42:39

Major League or Moneyball. I'm gonna go Moneyball because I've not seen it.

SPEAKER_05 2:42:44

Moneyball's good. I read the book first. Uh and I I kinda I like yeah, because the it's historically fairly accurate. I'm gonna go money ball.

SPEAKER_04 2:42:54

I like Moneyball. Um sports comedy movies outside of baseball. Would you rather watch Major League or Happy Gilmore? Oh, I'm gonna go happy. Happy. I'm gonna go Major League. Major League or Dodgeball.

SPEAKER_03 2:43:07

Major League. Major League. Major League for me too. Major League or Talladega Knights. Oh, I'm going Taladega. Talladega. I'm going Major League. Major League or Caddyshack. You know, I know there's a lot of like people that are like super like Caddyshack is the best movie ever. I'm still I'm gonna go, I'm gonna watch it again.

SPEAKER_04 2:43:29

I'm gonna go Major League. I'll go Major League. Major League or Slapshot. Slapshot. Slapshot. Slapshot's got more boobs. I do. Rousey's moms. And some underdog movies just to wrap things up. Would you rather watch Major League or Rocky? Major League. Rocky.

SPEAKER_14 2:43:50

Oh, Adrian. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 2:43:54

They're so different. I think I'm gonna go Major League though. Okay. Major League or Hoosiers.

SPEAKER_05 2:44:02

I've not seen Hoosiers, so I'm gonna go Hoosiers. I think Major League's more entertaining. Hoosers drags a lot.

SPEAKER_04 2:44:10

That's my thought exactly. I'm gonna go Major League.

SPEAKER_05 2:44:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:44:13

Major League versus Miracle.

SPEAKER_03 2:44:18

Not seen it, so I'll do it.

SPEAKER_05 2:44:20

Oh, that's tough. Yeah. Uh I'm gonna go Miracle.

SPEAKER_04 2:44:26

I think we're gonna go Major League. Because I think there are better underdog hockey movies. Yeah. Uh Major League versus Cool Runnings. I'm gonna go cool runnings. I'm gonna go cool runnings just for John Candy.

SPEAKER_05 2:44:40

I was gonna say, in spite of John Candy, I'm still gonna go Major. Love you, John. Major League versus the Mighty Ducks.

SPEAKER_03 2:44:48

Ooh, I'm gonna go Mighty Ducks. Really? Yeah.

unknown 2:44:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:44:53

Go Major League.

SPEAKER_04 2:44:53

That was nostalgic for me as a kid. I can see that. Yeah, I'm with you. I think uh to wrap things up, I'm gonna go with the Mighty Ducks. And so that we've picked our poison. All right. But now it's time to pick the winner of the Bodaker Award.

SPEAKER_02 2:45:11

Pirates Bodaker, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Fuck you.

SPEAKER_13 2:45:20

Guns, guns, guns. It's time to choose. Who stole the seed and live the fuse the fact? What's up to make the buttico? You fly bobby. But a winner. Pure dynamite.

SPEAKER_04 2:45:45

Well, if you're new to the show, each episode we choose one worthy recipient to receive this prestigious recognition in honor of one of our favorite cinematic characters, Clarence Bodaker from Robocom. It's not an award for the best actor or whoever was on the screen the most, but the character who we think brought the most to the movie. Justin, who is your choice for this episode's Bodtiker Award?

SPEAKER_03 2:46:10

I nominate Ricky Wild Thing Vaughn. Oh. For me, it was his arc. That's what did it for me. He goes from this immature punk who couldn't find the strike zone to a picture that everyone wanted on the mound in the biggest moment. And my favorite part about him is the filmmakers gave just enough wild thing to always leave me wanting more instead of wearing out the gimmick. I can see that. But they didn't overuse it. Yeah. And I thought that was really kind of a a special point for him being the main character of the movie. Sure. Or one of. Sure, I can see that.

SPEAKER_05 2:47:05

Alright, so I like to rank. And in third place, I've got Joe Boo. And I I think if we could ever find one, I think a Joe Boo bobblehead to join our collection would be awesome. Yeah, it would be. But he's not a Bodiker Award winner yet, as we know. So second place, man, I love Lou Brown. I love that voice. I love his steady presence through the movie. I thought he was a great character. But hands down, head and shoulder, this character bridges every scene. He carries the humor. He becomes the voice of the movie. He's frickin' hilarious. Because without the booth, you don't just lose the jokes, you lose the heartbeat of the movie.

SPEAKER_04 2:47:51

I'm going Harry Doyle. I almost went there. I thought about that one. That's a good pick. I almost went there. Well, my nominee goes to Lou Brown. Oh. Because first off, I just love James Gannon's performance. He's got that gravelly voice that sounds like he's been chewing on cigars and sunflower seeds for 40 straight years. And every line he delivers still feels authentic. Nothing about him feels like an actor playing a baseball manager. He is a baseball manager. What I love most though is his attitude. He doesn't take any crap from anybody. Roger Dorn waves his contract around. Lou takes a piss on it. Literally. Yeah, I love that. Players loafing through drills, drop and give me 20. Nobody gets special treatment. But here's the thing: his toughness never comes from ego. It's grounded in heart. He genuinely wants these guys to succeed. And by the end of the movie, they're not just a collection of misfits anymore. They're a team. And Lou Brown is the reason why. We have a three-way tie. We do. We do. Okay, so if you Brian, if you couldn't put your person, which of the other two would you throw your vote to?

SPEAKER_05 2:49:14

If I couldn't pick mine, I would pick Lou Brown. Okay. But like I said, I I think Harry Doyle's head and shoulders the best character.

SPEAKER_04 2:49:22

See, I if I I couldn't pick Lou Brown, I would pick Harry Doyle. Yeah.

unknown 2:49:27

My God.

SPEAKER_05 2:49:28

Justin, if you couldn't pick Ricky Wilder.

SPEAKER_04 2:49:30

It comes down to Justin.

SPEAKER_03 2:49:31

It comes to me. Well, I already told you that Harry Doyle was in consideration. So I guess I gotta go Harry Doyle.

SPEAKER_04 2:49:41

Alright, and with that, it might not be unanimous, but it's definitive. Harry Doyle is the winner of this episode's Bodiker Award. Here we do it.

SPEAKER_13 2:49:53

Bitches leave.

SPEAKER_04 2:49:55

Well, now that we've picked our favorite character, it's time to pick our favorite beer of the episode.

SPEAKER_05 2:50:04

Alright. Well, we already know Brian lost. Yes, I did. And that'll be the first thing. I'll go first. I will put the Mill Pond brewing guzz. Crazy, folks, in last place. Sours. Sours are terrible. Yep. In second place, I'm gonna go with the uh Sam Adam Summer Ale. And in first place, I'm gonna go with the somewhat hazy IPA. The uh just a bit hazy. I it's hard for me to find one that I like, and I really like that one. Alright. So that's why I put it first. I'm I'm close. Yeah? I'm close. I bet you got the same third place. I do. Your goosa is grossa.

SPEAKER_03 2:51:02

You're so puny. You're right. So that's gonna be my third. I'm gonna go with the just a bit hazy. Second, it was not my favorite hazy. It probably wasn't hazy enough for you.

SPEAKER_04 2:51:17

It wasn't just a bit hazy.

SPEAKER_03 2:51:20

If I don't know that I like I don't know that I would buy it again. Or I don't know that I would go and buy it. The summer meal though? I could drink this often. I can do that. Summer, and then we're gonna lozen hazy summer meal. I also will put the goza dead last.

SPEAKER_05 2:51:44

How dare do you? Although I think it has the best name. It does. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:51:49

It was the most relevant name. But we don't make votes on names. No, but the most terrible beer. So that leaves the summer ale and just a bit hazy. Yep. Yo, you're the deciding vote. I really like both. But I as drinkable as the summer ale is, it's not as distinct. I feel like it's it's something. It's a little vanilla ice cream in the ways of a citrus sweet. It's not. I don't know. Um, it's good. It's very good. But it's not for dripple. Exactly. I'm gonna put that at number two. Don't get me wrong, I would gladly drink that on any day. Yeah. Um, but I thought the Just a Bit Hazy was a little bit more interesting and beer to me. Just a bit above. Just a bit. Just a bit above. And so with that. That means Seth I picked the best beer. I'm trying to get to let that go to my head, but hey Justin. Hey guys, hey guys, did you did you guys hear I picked the best beer?

SPEAKER_05 2:52:59

Hey, hey, hey Justin. I picked the best beer. Did you hear Seth voted for his own beer? I did, but I was for my beer. I wasn't dare gonna vote for my beer. Oh my god, no. No. No.

SPEAKER_03 2:53:11

No no no no.

SPEAKER_05 2:53:13

I wouldn't drink it on a bet.

SPEAKER_03 2:53:15

I don't blame you.

SPEAKER_04 2:53:17

Yeah. Well, now that that's out of the way. Not one bet. Let's uh let's get into some final thoughts.

SPEAKER_03 2:53:23

Let's do a final thought.

SPEAKER_05 2:53:25

Brian, you want to kick it off? Sure, I'll kick it off. I love this movie. And I love it for three main reasons. First, I love baseball. It's been a part of my personal life, part of my working life, and it's a huge part of my family life. Second, I actually have, like we talked about before, I've got a personal connection to it. I was at Cleveland Stadium when they filled some of the crowd scenes. I went with my Aunt Becky, my Uncle Bill, and my cousins Joe and Jeremy. It was the summer between my seventh and eighth grade. I've never been able to spot myself on screen, but I was there, in that crowd, in that atmosphere. And when I think about it now, that kind of fits the movie perfectly because Major League isn't really about individual moments. It's about being part of something bigger. You know, a group nobody expected to matter. Finding a way to come together to change a story. So even if I can't see myself in the film, I know I was in the building when the story was being told. And I think that's cool. That is cool. And lastly, the movie's just fun. So I like this movie. I think it's a fun movie. I think it's hilarious. I think it would be even more hilarious with a slight buzz. Uh so since our rating scale is how many beers for peak enjoyment, man, I enjoy this movie with zero beers. But if I think if I had three, and and a slight buzz going, oh, I'd love it even more. So I'm gonna go uh with a three beer rating on this. Right there with you. So I'm gonna jump in here.

SPEAKER_03 2:55:03

Because mine's gonna be pretty short. There's not a lot to complain about. I really like this movie. It's another one of those movies that isn't trying to win an Oscar, it just wants to be a hilarious underdog baseball movie. And it succeeded. It did exactly what a comedy should do. It was funny, a bit inappropriate, and kept me engaged from start to finish. The overall look and feel is unapologetically eighties, but I can't really hold that against it, considering it was made in the eighties. Aside from a middle section that dragged just a bit, I can absolutely see why this movie was such a hit and why it's still so well loved today. I'd definitely watch it again. In fact, next time I might enjoy it with a few beers. Not because the movie needs them, but because I enjoy the way Three Beers makes me feel.

SPEAKER_01 2:56:07

Love it.

SPEAKER_03 2:56:08

Love it.

SPEAKER_01 2:56:08

I'm right there with you.

SPEAKER_04 2:56:11

Well, I gotta say that overall I thought Major League is a pretty fun movie. Yeah. Characters are instantly identifiable. The team is easy to root for, and and while the movie gets cartoonish from time to time, it never completely loses its footing. There's still enough humanity underneath all the jokes that you buy into this group of misfits becoming a family. And that's really why this movie works. Now, it's not perfect, and I'm not honestly sure I could say that the movie fully holds up. The Jake and Lynn romance hasn't aged particularly well. And by today's standard, some of Jake's persistence comes across as less charming and more creepy. And Rachel Phelps, also an interesting case, she's absolutely the villain of the movie, but if you really stop and think about it, her motivations really aren't that evil. She's just a business owner trying to relocate a struggling franchise for what she believes is a better opportunity. If anything, it's the city of Cleveland that's the true villain of this movie. Maybe if you had spent more time watching baseball and less time extinguishing river fires, she wouldn't have to move to Florida. Seriously, get with it, Cleveland. Now that said, Major League is a funny movie. Packed with memorable characters and one of the most entertaining underdog stories ever put on film. In fact, I it it ranks right up there with a little engine that could. It knows exactly what kind of movie it wants to be, even when it's wrong, and it never overstays its welcome. And for me, Major League, like you two, is a three beer movie. The math is gonna be hard on this one. Yeah, uh let's see. Three plus three plus three. Where's that put it? Divide by three. Carry the eighteen.

SPEAKER_03 2:58:07

Three squared divide by seven. Three squared. Three times the square root of twelve.

SPEAKER_05 2:58:13

Three point one power four. And then carry the eight. What's the fifth value of pi?

SPEAKER_03 2:58:20

Oh man, that's like three point one point one five. Like, how many do you go on that pie? Like, it can go on forever.

SPEAKER_04 2:58:26

It's infinity. Well, as it turns out, uh, average score of three. Wow. Oh, thanks for doing the math. Yeah, man. That puts it tied for third place in the movies we've watched to date with speed. Nice. Not bad. So that puts it a third of a beer behind Parenthood and a third of a beer ahead of Romancing the Stone.

SPEAKER_05 2:58:47

Ah, nice. Nice fit. Very nice.

SPEAKER_03 2:58:49

Very good. My question, though, is how many beers do you need for the little engine that could all the beers? Zero motherfucker. Zero best children's movie.

SPEAKER_05 2:59:06

We didn't touch on it much, but I want to give a shout out to the soundtrack. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:59:10

I I thought the other than the I mean, it's not soundtrack. The the opening song by Randy Newman, I swear to God, if if I am ever, if a foreign agent ever takes me hostage and needs to torture information out of me, put Randy Newman on a loop, I swear to God, I will tell you anything. Alright. That's good to know.

SPEAKER_05 2:59:32

Why was he so popular in the I don't know? Holy cow. He was like the cartoon of music makers. He was. Yeah. It's cartoon. Still is.

SPEAKER_04 2:59:42

He's he's the cartoony guy. Did you ever see the family guy episode where they they joke around about Randy Newman? He's like there and he's just singing songs about the things he sees. Big old dog.

SPEAKER_05 2:59:52

Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I thought the music behind the scenes was pretty good, especially during the baseball scenes and the climactic moments.

SPEAKER_04 3:00:01

And set tones that built momentum and added energy. Yeah, I agree. Good score. That's pretty good. All right, now that we have all our ratings squared away. Yeah. Let's let's take a moment and let's just say David S. Warder or our good buddy D Dubs reached out and said, hey, regular guys, think about making a sequel to this movie. And let's just also forget that any sequels ever were made to this movie, and whatever we come up with is what the actual sequel will be. I think that's a great idea. It's a smart choice, D dub. Now I I don't know if you guys heard. You but I had the best beer. You did. I won I won the episode.

SPEAKER_03 3:00:39

So I'm going to start this off. Wait, wait. He said he won the episode. The entire episode. Oh, I win Seth. I won life. Seth won the I won life. Forget forget our baseball teams. Well, did we built?

SPEAKER_05 3:00:55

Did you hear Seth's hatch? Did you hear who was on your team, Justin? But you won that part, maybe. Yeah, you didn't. You didn't win shit tonight. Anywho.

SPEAKER_22 3:01:03

Fuck. All right.

SPEAKER_05 3:01:04

Here's my thought.

SPEAKER_04 3:01:04

Seth won't have to be a little bit more. So the Indians just had one hell of a underdog story, rags to riches kind of moment. Yeah. They won the American League East Division title. My thought is there should be a documentary documenting the lives and the people to see how this has changed their lives. This instant fandom, this instant stardom, these unknowns and hasbens. How has this changed your life? So I want, instead of a standard typical narrative movie, I kind of want a real players of Cleveland documentary show.

SPEAKER_05 3:01:46

Okay, kind of following him in the offseason. Yeah. After this uh semi-successful season. Exactly. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:01:51

So let's get to know these people we don't know.

SPEAKER_05 3:01:54

Lessback? Yeah. Kinda, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:01:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 3:01:58

Less baseball and more human interest. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 3:02:02

Okay. Would this be a mockumentary? Yes. Definitely. Okay. I'm on board. I'm on board. I'd love a good mockumentary.

SPEAKER_05 3:02:11

Okay, so so to do this, we'll kind of have to go through some of the key players here. I I think Serrano starts like a voodoo church.

SPEAKER_04 3:02:23

Mm-hmm. Slash fried chicken restaurant. Yeah. Uh-huh. He did get into that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:02:31

Uh Ricky Vaughn is back in jail.

SPEAKER_05 3:02:36

Maybe he becomes an optometrist.

SPEAKER_04 3:02:40

Helping young his place for better. Maybe he becomes a fashion eyewear model. Oh, that's a good one. He didn't have a need. For emo he's crossbone in there.

SPEAKER_05 3:02:52

I like it. What does Roger Dorn do? Dorne. He just sells real estate. Does he become a marriage counselor?

SPEAKER_04 3:03:05

To the stars. I think we catch him in mid-divorce as Suzanne is basically robbing him blind. Oh. Suzanne sleeps with like half the team. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Even the married guys.

SPEAKER_03 3:03:18

She's a non-stop sleeping machine.

SPEAKER_04 3:03:20

Suzanne just has a calendar, you know, that she's made herself of naked pictures from the baseball team that she just puts on the on like the refrigerator. She rotates. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:03:31

When she leaves Serrano's chicken place, she's walking funny. I've been eating a lot of chicken this month.

SPEAKER_04 3:03:40

That bat doesn't need to be warmed up anymore.

SPEAKER_05 3:03:44

Was Lou Brown go back to the tire joint? Or what does Lou Brown do? He's got to call back that guy that you eat the white walls.

SPEAKER_03 3:03:50

Right. I don't know. Like maybe he's he's pulling double duty. Like he's got to be back, right? Yeah. He's got to be back in the show.

SPEAKER_05 3:03:57

You gotta have Lou Brown.

SPEAKER_03 3:03:59

I don't know. I guess it depends. Did they move the team to Miami? Do they stay? I think they stay.

SPEAKER_04 3:04:05

I assume they had to stay, because really where they were at in the season, they only need to have 10 sellout sellout games to avoid it. Or 20 half. They had games to do that. They would have definitely done that. Sure.

SPEAKER_05 3:04:16

So they didn't move. What about the owner? What does she do in the offseason? OnlyFans. Oh, nice. That's a good one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:04:25

Man, she could supplement that income that she's looking for. She could get that mansion eventually. Yeah. I would think that she probably would get out of the business, right? Maybe they have a new owner.

SPEAKER_05 3:04:38

Who's the new owner? Well, in the in the real sequel that was made, Dorne is, but I don't want to go there in the in our sequel. There's gotta be a funnier. Funnier owner. Okay, how about since Seth's Vincent Benedict. Since Seth thinks she's since Seth thinks she's the victim, not the villain, maybe this success of the team really heightened the value. Mm-hmm. And she sells and makes a ton of money. And you see her on uh the veranda of her Boca Ratan mansion, and she's just so happy not to be involved with baseball anymore. I could see it. Yeah. I could see it. What about Jake Taylor? Prison.

SPEAKER_03 3:05:25

Jake Taylor has two broken knees and he's in a wheelchair.

SPEAKER_05 3:05:29

Yeah, it's not far from it.

SPEAKER_04 3:05:32

His ball stomped in by Lynn's high heels.

SPEAKER_05 3:05:36

Maybe, maybe Lynn rated testicles. Maybe Lynn leaves him at the altar. Ooh. I could uh And she's she's actually a lesbian. She leaves him at the altar for her one of her bridesmates.

SPEAKER_03 3:05:54

I could see Jake Taylor in a wheelchair on the side of the road selling tamales out of the back of his trunk.

SPEAKER_04 3:06:00

Could that bridesmaid be Suzanne? Because that would really fulfill a childhood fantasy of mine. Suzanne? Oh yeah. Oh that's that's a nice that's a nice story.

SPEAKER_05 3:06:10

Yeah, Suzanne ran through the baseball team and still unfulfilled. Couldn't get Jake, but she got Lynn instead. Yeah. Ow ow. So they're they're living together off uh, you know, with half a dorm's money, you know, in the Caribbean somewhere. Uh-huh. On on a forever honeymoon.

SPEAKER_04 3:06:30

And then pirates strike. Son of a bitch. The Pittsburgh Pirates. They come there and they space.

SPEAKER_05 3:06:37

Yeah. And they both run through another team. There we go. What about what about Harry Doyle? Harry Doyle mimics real life, and he gets voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame as an announcer.

SPEAKER_23 3:06:48

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 3:06:49

I like that. Or maybe he just drinks himself to death.

SPEAKER_04 3:06:53

That works too. But I think, either way, that's gonna do it for this episode of the Regular Guy Movie Show. We survive wild pitches, voodoo-fueled home run swings, scantily clad cardboard cutouts, bad knees, bruised bodies, and more slow-mo running and tobacco spitting than you could shake a bat at. If you've enjoyed hanging out with us, why? But make sure you follow, subscribe, leave a review, or just start walking around your office calling coworkers a bunch of handsmins and everwers before dramatically pointing a center field during your next staff meeting. Maybe someone will know what the hell you're doing. If you want to keep the conversation going, hit us up on the socials and tell us what you think about Major League. Does it hold up for you? And most importantly, who is your boniker winner? Thanks for listening. Thanks for drinking along with us, and until next time, be kind, rewind. Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_14 3:07:51

The regular guy movie show talking flicks. Here we go.

SPEAKER_05 3:08:07

So why was other than the language why was this movie rated R?

SPEAKER_04 3:08:13

Well the language by itself would have done it. You're only allowed so many fucks. Right.

SPEAKER_05 3:08:17

I guess that's about it. Yeah, I think that's about it too. There was no nudity, nothing overly sexual. Right. Just a lot of cousins. Well, you know, in a locker room, that's kind of what happens.

SPEAKER_04 3:08:31

Honestly, it felt pretty tame from my locker room experiences.

SPEAKER_05 3:08:34

Right. Right. Funny story, I I was playing ball and and and we played and and we won a game in the bottom of the ninth, and actually in the top of the ninth, and the bottom of the ninth got hairy. We were the the road team and I got home late. My mom asked me how the game went, and I told her, and and I said, and for that, you know, the bases were loaded, two out, and there was a ground ball up the middle. And I said, and Luis Aliseya just fucking dove. And I'm talking to my mom. And I froze. I froze. It's like late road trip. I get home at like two in the morning. And there's an uncomfortable pause. My mom looks at me and she goes, Well, what the fuck happened? That's awesome. And so I told her the rest of the story, and then afterwards, she's like, Hey, I know how the boys in the locker room talk. Just try a little harder not to bring that home. That's amazing. Your mom's a wonderful woman. She's awesome.