Episode 27: Secondhand Lions

On this episode of The Regular Guy Movie Show, we're heading deep into Texas for a look at the 2003 family adventure-drama Secondhand Lions.

Join Seth, Justin, and Brian as they revisit the story of young Walter Caldwell, who is sent to spend the summer with his eccentric great-uncles Hub and Garth McCann. What starts as a reluctant visit quickly turns into a tale filled with hidden fortunes, lion attacks, traveling salesmen, mysterious pasts, and enough porch wisdom to last a lifetime.

Along the way, we discuss:

• Whether the movie's blend of adventure, comedy, and heartfelt life lessons still works today
• The fantastic performances from Robert Duvall and Michael Caine
• The truth (or possible fiction) behind Hub and Garth's legendary adventures
• The scene we'd change with our Magic Wand
• Our picks for the League of Extraordinary Old Cranks
• And, of course, our Boddicker Award winner

Does Secondhand Lions hold up more than two decades later? Or is it one of those movies that hits differently depending on where you are in life?

Pour yourself a drink, pull up a rocking chair, and join us as we find out.

Listen to The Regular Guy Movie Show wherever you get your podcasts, and visit regularguymovieshow.com to suggest the next questionable classic we take on. While there, check out our blog or listen to previous show episodes.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_15 0:00

An old farmhouse full of secrets. Two eccentric uncles with questionable stories, suspicious wealth, and enough firepower to repel a small invading force? What if your summer vacation turned into a treasure hunt wrapped in tall tales, fist fights, and lion assaults? And what if the grumpy old men down the road were actually retired action heroes with a past straight out of pulp adventure novels? And what if Indiana Jones and Tombstone got together on a dusty Texas porch and decided to raise a kid? This is secondhand lions, and we'll get into it on this episode of the Regular Guy Movie Show.

SPEAKER_07 0:50

Lights go down. Here we go.

SPEAKER_15 1:21

I'm Seth, and joining me as always are two guys who would absolutely threaten bodily harm to traveling salesmen, Justin and Brian. Gentlemen, are you ready to talk about honor, adventure, and lion-based home security systems? I'm always ready for old men solving problems aggressively. Nice. I'm still waiting for that grown-up talk. I need the speech. Well, before we start retelling wildly unbelievable stories with complete confidence, let's take a moment and talk about what we're drinking tonight. There's the crazy music I love. There it is. We are starting this podcast off with a drink, a beverage of my selection. This is uh Voodoo Ranger hard charge tea. And specifically, we are drinking the Tiger's Blood version. And and how did this tie into the movie, Seth? Well, the old men sat on the porch drinking tea. They did. A lot of tea was drank. Could have been hard iced tea. Could have been, never know. They seemed the kind that would enjoy such a thing. I mean, two birds, one stone, tea, hard stuff. Why not? I'll shoot a stalefin while drinking this. And so you brought a 12-pack. I did. It's a variety pack. Variety pack with multiple flavors. So we started with the tiger's blood. Not a lion, yeah, but in the same family. Large beings.

SPEAKER_16 2:48

I'm also just now noticing that in his hand the skeleton has a snow cone.

SPEAKER_15 2:52

A tiger blood snow cone. Tiger's blood is my go-to snow cone flavor. Agreed. Yeah, mine too. I I'll throw in a suicide once in a while. Sure. But uh yeah, yeah, the the the tiger's blood's the staple. The blend of strawberry, watermelon, and a hint of coconut. Can't go wrong. That would be the one. Yep. And uh, yeah, so this is a uh hard uh tea by Sierra Nevada, the makers of Voodoo Ranger IPAs. Yep. Uh I gotta say this this is a dangerous drink. Oh, it goes down quick. It's so good. Yeah, it is good. It's not super sweet. I'm not a sweet tea drinker. No, me either. I get the flavor. I it doesn't, it's not gonna give me a cavity. It's ultimately refreshing. Honestly, you could have told me this was hard Kool-Aid, I would have believed it. I mean, not again, it's not like not cloyingly sweet, right? But it's got that tiger blood flavor, is the most most noticeable thing. Yep. I'm curious to see what the other flavors in the 12-pack taste like. Oh, it's gonna be one of those knife that was. This is like a this is uh 7% ABV, and if we want to enjoy our other drinks that we've brought as well this evening, I think we might need to put a pin on that one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 4:03

Probably.

SPEAKER_15 4:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 4:04

Uh-huh. We'll tell you in a later episode. We'll tell you in a later episode. You know, I I have had a hard iced tea before, like twisted tea, and it was awful. This is this is better than that.

SPEAKER_15 4:15

Oh, yeah, definitely. Twisted tea is um sponsor. K Ching. Um not real good. It it is sickeningly sweet. Uh that's why I don't like the twisted.

SPEAKER_16 4:27

I've had to choke one down because then whenever I would go boating with my wife's dad, uh, that's what him and his buddy drank on the boat. And to try not to look like a weenie and be like, ew, your drink is nasty. I had choked it down, and that was the one I ever choked down. You're so you're so polite.

SPEAKER_15 4:48

The uh yeah, the indoor the indoor pickleball club I play at quite a bit always keeps twisted tea in the fridge for some reason. And so there have been a few times I'm like, hey, give yourself a drink, and I'm like, I okay. And I open the door and that's all they have, and I'm like, I guess I'll drink this. I gotta say, this voodoo ranger hardcharged tea kicks the pants off the twisted and uh this is good stuff. It's not too bad. Yeah, yeah. I yeah, recommend. This is I will definitely be getting more of this for the pool come summertime. There you go. Yeah, okay. We'll be over. Everyone else is invited too. I'm just not gonna tell you where I live. Anywho, all three listeners show up. Starting off. Well, one of those listeners already lives in my house, so you know. All right, and Joe. Joe will be there. Parking's gonna be a problem. Yeah. Anywho. So we're talking about secondhand lines this episode, and this is a pick of Brian's. Yeah, I picked this. You didn't know what was it about this movie that made you want to pick it, Brian? Okay, so I was racking my brain trying to find a movie, and I wanted to find a movie that I thought or that I remembered was good, that kind of flew under the radar. Uh, and I thought this kind of fit the category, and and we'll go into that a little bit when we talk about you know the the box office receipts, but um that and I want to give a quick shout-out to my cousin Jeremy. Yeah, uh, my cousin Jay, hey Jay, um lives out in Phoenix, and every once in a while we'll text each other. Uh, it's usually about baseball. Okay. Uh, but once in a while he'll send me something out of the blue just to strike up conversation or just kind of his way of saying hey. And I remember about six months ago, he shot me a text that just said Second Hand Lions was an underrated movie. Okay, alright. And so that kind of put it on my radar, put it on my thinking cap. So when I was thinking about picking a movie, yeah, I kind of wanted to pick something that I remembered being good that not a whole lot of people saw. Okay, yeah. So that's kind of how I came up with this one. So when did you see it for the first time? On DVD. Okay. Uh my my wife and I, it was a rental. So, you know, I didn't see it at the movie theater. I didn't know anything really about it. She had heard that it was good and somebody suggested it, so we rented it on that, and I was pleasantly surprised from what I remember watching it. Um and so, hey, here we are. I'm excited to I was excited to watch it again to see if I still thought it was good. Well, I remember I remember when this was in the theater seeing the the trailer for it, seeing the previews, seeing the commercials back in the day when I actually had to watch stupid commercials. Um and didn't didn't see it in the theater, didn't didn't quite catch my fancy enough for that. Yeah. But uh while visiting my parents one weekend, they're like, oh, we got this movie we we think you might really watch. And so they they had bought it on DVD. And so I watched it with them. And uh, but that was the that was the last time I saw it. It was uh 20 oh man, this came out in 2003, so it would have been 22 years ago at least. Yeah, yeah, me too. I hadn't seen it in twenty-two years either. Justin, have you ever seen this movie?

SPEAKER_16 8:03

So in in 2003, I was 21, and I dedicated my free time to really important cultural activities like cheap beer and bad decisions. So no, I didn't watch this until this morning. Okay, alright, alright. All right. Well, um I will say though, I do remember seeing like a trailer for him and being real weirded out that Haley Joel Osmet was a little bit older. Yeah. After like what was it? It was uh It was the sixth sense. Yeah, the I see Dead People, right? So just seeing him as like kind of like that young teen, it was real bizarre, real weird.

SPEAKER_15 8:47

I we'll go into it, but I got a little bit of that watching the movie. Yeah. Well, for anyone who hasn't seen secondhand lions, what do you say we we take a moment and we enjoy a little story time with Brian? Here we go.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Tell us a story.

SPEAKER_15 9:06

Once upon a time in the wide sun-bleached land of Texas, there stood an old weathered farm. There, two legendary uncles, Hub and Garth, lived like exiled knights from another age. The townsfolk whispered stories about them. Some say they were heroes, others say they were fools, and no one truly knew which was which. Into their eclectic lives came a young boy named Walter, quiet, uncertain, and cast away like a misplaced page in somebody else's story. At first he'd believed he'd landed in a crazy house, but as the days passed, he discovered something unexpected. The old knights weren't crazy at all, but guardians of forgotten magic. Stories, honor, and a code of living that the modern world had long since stopped believing in. And so, through tales told in flickering candlelight, and lessons learned in dust and sunlight, Walter began to change. The boy who arrived without a story found himself inside one, learning that courage is not always loud, that wealth is not always gold, and that the greatest kingdoms are built not from power, but from love, loyalty, and belief. Oh damn. What a story. Yeah, that's a good one, isn't it? Yeah, it was. That was real good. Holy, you smell that? What am I smelling? I smell it. Well, Brian, tell us how this movie did in the box office. All right. Page two. Thank you, Paul Harvey. Okay, so the production budget for this movie was uh about thirty million dollars. And the worldwide, not just domestic, but worldwide box office gross was about forty-eight million. So it made eighteen million dollars. Um not a flashy two thousands blockbuster. Just a movie that didn't lose money. Hey. I am really excited. I I did not on purpose look up how this movie was received by audiences and critics alike because I wanted to be surprised. Okay. Well well, Justin, you tell us. How did audiences and critics alike enjoy this movie?

SPEAKER_16 11:34

So uh Rotten Tomatoes has a score of 60% based on 134 reviews from critics, right? 60. But a popcorn meter of 84% based on 50,000 viewer ratings.

SPEAKER_15 11:50

Interesting. So this is like the flip-flop of our last movie, speed. It sure is.

SPEAKER_16 11:54

Yeah, the viewers loved it, but the critics really didn't. But there were two examples that I pulled that I thought were funny, but also don't don't really represent the numbers. So there was a review from a viewer that said awful, awful, awful. Second worst movie that I've ever seen, and that's saying a lot. I want those two hours of my life back, saccharine, superficial, and just the worst.

SPEAKER_15 12:22

I want to know what their first was. That's exactly what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_16 12:26

I was so curious. And then this part I thought was really funny from a critic. An unpretentiously sweet home is where the heart is fantasy, but then gave it 2.5.

SPEAKER_15 12:40

You know, this was one of those movies that was not built as a blockbuster. Uh-huh. Although it had a hell of a cast. It did. Um, but it was not built for like the award show circuit. Yeah. So it kind of fell into a purgatory, I think.

SPEAKER_16 12:56

Yeah, I think yeah. I mean, I I never like I knew of it, but uh, whenever you said we're gonna do secondhand lines, I was like, I don't know what that is. Like well, I had to look it up and be like, oh, now I remember, you know.

SPEAKER_15 13:08

I also gotta wonder, because this came out in the same year as another movie, which has a lot of a similar kind of style and vibe. Big Fish. Oh, Big Fish is that old? Yeah. Same same year. Because yeah, I see it was all both were really pushing on the tall tale. Is it real? Is it not? Kind of storylines. But Big Fish had a big name behind it, Tim Burton. Um, and I kind of wonder whether because God knows there's enough Tim Burton fans in the world, uh, that that pretty much would drink his his underwear sweat like you know, like Avion if they got the chance. Um whether because this is too similar to Big Fish, whether like fuck that. It sucks. It's a rip-off. I could see that. You know what? I didn't see Big Fish either. I I like Big Fish. Yeah? Yeah. I I I like the the the overall summary of what Big Fish is. I liked. Specifically scene to scene, whatever. Has some issues, but yeah, I do see the similarities between Big Fish and this movie. I get it. I get it. Yeah. Uh interesting, IMDB, uh, because I did look at that one, had a rating of 7.5 out of 10. 7.5. So I mean again, similar, somewhere almost splitting the difference a little bit between the critics and the the the audience.

SPEAKER_16 14:41

It's pretty much the median of these two.

SPEAKER_15 14:44

Yeah. But this movie, while it didn't have Tim Burton power behind it. Nope. It did have Tim McCannelly's power behind it. And who the hell's Tim McCannelly? That's a great question. Uh he was the writer and director of Second Hand Lions. Um, mostly known as a screenwriter before this, but his prior credits to this movie were The Iron Giant. Okay. Uh and his directorial debut, I believe, from what I saw on his IMDE page, was a movie called Dancer Texas, Population 81. Dancer Texas. Yeah. What's that about? I have no idea. Never heard of it. But uh but ultimately the guy was a bit of an unknown when it comes down to it in the grand scheme of things. Uh, and really didn't have a lot of credits after that. So this was his this was his movie. This was his moment in the sun. Yeah. Um a lot of the emotional DNA uh of Secondhand Lions came from uh from what I understand of McCanley's own upbringing in Texas and the kinds of larger-than-life relatives that he knew and he grew up around. Um, and he talked a lot about wanting to create a story that was about what makes a good man and how boys learn masculinity and the value of honor, courage, loyalty, and kindness, uh, and wanted to make it feel you know real enough, but without being preachy or cynical. Okay. So a lot of lot of tight lines to walk on that. Absolutely. And and I think some of those lines were stepped over a little bit here and there. It was a little shticky. Yeah. But the but the script circulated around Hollywood for quite a while, and a lot of consideration gave to it because it was emotionally accessible and was actor-friendly and was character-driven. Um, but really wasn't until it the project attached Michael Cain and Robert Duvall to the project that actually suddenly became credible. And then it went into full steam production, got a studio, got all the things. And I mean, it could be the worst script in the world, but you sign those two onto it. Those are big names. Yeah, somebody's gonna bank it. Yeah, and so it it that kind of basically then drove it into you know becoming what it became. Um speaking of which, Justin, tell us who is in this movie.

SPEAKER_16 17:05

Okay. First on my list is Walter Caldwell, played by Haley Joel Osmet. I guess I should get going.

SPEAKER_03 17:14

Which way is north?

SPEAKER_16 17:19

Walter's a shy and introverted young boy who is sent to spend the summer with his eccentric great uncles and slowly discovers adventure, courage, and the importance of family.

SPEAKER_15 17:31

Yeah, I I think that he's really his arc is all about self-discovery and learning about what masculinity and courage looks like. In in the realities of the world. Yeah. You know, and not just not just the stories that he hears, but his own life and his own story and and understanding sometimes kids have shitty parents. Yeah, he sure did.

SPEAKER_16 17:58

Yeah. He sure did. And you know, it's talking about just like the the path of masculinity and whatever, it I think like a lot of it was just confidence, you know, like more not so much masculinity per se, but just he was like beat down. And he was a shell of a kid, and he never knew what was coming next or who was coming next or whatever.

SPEAKER_15 18:21

Oh he was a punching bag. Right. A a just pubescent uh punching bag. And this kid was he was uh what's the word I'm looking for?

SPEAKER_16 18:33

Well, he was a weenie, but he was a star. He was. But he was still kind of a weenie in the end.

SPEAKER_15 18:38

But in the end, he had some backbone. He had some courage. A little bit. A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, the consumption. Yeah, the the self-confidence to fight back. Maybe. I don't I just think it's weird to have a character of this age. You don't see too many characters this age in films. Yeah. Usually they're a little younger, or usually they're a little older. So so that was interesting to me. I I anticipated him being a little more annoying than he actually came across. He had his moments. Um but overall I thought I thought he did a pretty good job. Well, I I thought they actually were really smart with the way they wrote his character. They didn't give him big monologues or a lot of dialogue, and a lot of what he had was reactionary. Yeah, he he was responding to what was going on. And and because there were there were definitely points where I don't know whether it was just child acting or hormones and his voice cracking and changing, because it was that time of his life. But but it it didn't when he did talk, it didn't seem super great, but they used it sparingly enough to where ultimately his physical acting, his just you know non-vocal cues, worked really well. It and and I have to think that the people he was on screen with, and we'll get to those two other main actors, probably helped a hell of a lot with that. Yeah. Oh, definitely. You know, you you could probably just stand there and they could make you look like a good actor. Right. Now, Haley Joe Losmitt was coming off of this was his first movie I could think of that followed The Sixth Sense. Where, man, that was that was a movie that did build a lot of its weight on his shoulders as a child actor. Yeah. And um again, I I mean for that one, I not that we're talking specifically about the Sixth Sense, but I feel like we can't not talk about it a little bit here. I thought he actually did pretty well for better than a lot of child actors did for that.

SPEAKER_16 20:45

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, he was way better than a lot of them we've seen.

SPEAKER_15 20:48

So I've not heard anything about him. Yeah, a lot of times with child actors, you hear about the horror stories. Yeah. You know, the McCullough Calkins of the world, the the the Drew Barrymores of the world, you know, being a child actor and and fighting. I've not heard any of that drama with him. Is it do you guys know of any? No, no, and because I don't think there is any. Um surprise. I mean, that's which is just not normally which was which is impressive in a way, because you know he earned an Oscar nomination at age 11 for the sixth sense. After that, he was an AI artificial intelligence playing uh in a movie directed by Steve Steven Spielberg. Um, you know, and we know how those kids end up if they don't end up borderline getting murdered on set. Right, right. Uh they usually end up dead sometime shortly thereafter. Um, but no, I mean he he had he came out of the gate so strong, and so many other actors, yeah, they they they go down dark paths. I don't believe he did. In fact, I think he's more notable for the normal path he he pursued. And he, unlike other actors who who get depressed by the fact they're not getting big roles anymore, as he reached into maturity, he settled into being the side character, being the small role, being the character. Cameo here and there. And the things I see him in now, he's almost poking fun at himself a little bit. Yeah. Like he has some self-awareness. Yeah. Which is rare in that world. Right. Yeah. In fact, he he's the most recent thing I saw him in was uh the TV show The Boys, where he plays a character who was a child superhero TV star and is now doing very nasty, dirty things basically for money. Oh, okay. Oh wow. You know what?

SPEAKER_16 22:28

I kind of think he looks like a toe. Like a big toe. Really? Yeah. Like the face, and especially now that he's older too. Oh, yeah. I don't know what it looks like older now.

SPEAKER_15 22:37

Oh, it's weird. Like a toe with a beard. Yeah. Oh. And long hair. Okay. Yeah. Honestly, he'd fit in with us. I don't know. He's just kind of got the flat smashed face. Yeah. At least he's a toe. At least he has hair.

SPEAKER_16 22:54

I can't say the same. Alright, who else we got? Alright, next up I have Hubb McCann, played by Robert Duvall.

SPEAKER_04 23:03

You sent for a hooker.

SPEAKER_16 23:07

Hub is the gruff, tough as nails uncle, whose wild stories and hidden softer side make him both intimidating and deeply lovable.

SPEAKER_15 23:18

Yeah, I I love how gruff and intimidating and pseudo-feral Hub was. And is I agree. I cannot remember seeing something with him in it that I didn't like him. Um going all the way back. What's another thing he was in? Lonesome Dove? Um The Godfather? Kind of saw that. Apocalypse now. Days of Thunder. Days of Thunder, I remember seeing parts of that. He's the pit boss.

SPEAKER_16 23:54

Tom Cruiser. Is that Brad Pitt? Tom Crusoe.

SPEAKER_15 23:59

I stepped into that one. It's Oprah Winfrey, right? Wasn't he also in that uh Western with Kevin Costner? Can you be more specific? The range was it called? Open range? Open range. Maybe. Yeah. I thought that was him in open range. Let's be definitive about this. And if he's not, we'll just edit this out. So go ahead. Yeah, yeah. I thought he was great in that too. Yeah, opening range. Totally great in open range. I saw that so many times. Just this week. That's what I fall asleep to every night. No, I my first introduction as a kid to Robert Duvall was Lonesome Dove. Okay. Yeah. I guess I don't know him too well, but I like him. I I have seen him in so many things. Uh and he's just, yeah, he's always poignant. Yeah. And a little bit twisted. Yeah. And like you wouldn't, like if you've you definitely wouldn't want to sleep in the room with him with both eyes shut, kind of, kinda. Right, right. He's a little unhinged. Yeah, just a little bit. Yeah. Uh, but but in the case of Hub, you know, we got a guy who comes who who externally to most of the world, they they see this as a guy who only really communicates through threats and shotgun fire. Right. But once you the the walls start to soften a bit, you to start to see he's a very complex character and compassionate and cares about people. And I thought that was really clever some of the ways they brought this out through the movie. And like even at one point, and we'll get to it when we get in the scene discussion, where he has to brawl with a bunch of teenagers, but then invites him over for dinner afterwards. Right. He invited them over to put some meat on their face. Good news, fellas. We're not gonna have to cut anything. He was in open range. All right. You had me second guessing myself there, guys. I mean, you know me. I don't know anything. Um, yeah, but uh I'm not far. I'm not far away from that. In addition to uh open range, we already listed up most of these off, but uh Godfather, he was uh the the calmest mob lawyer in cinema history. Uh he delivered the immortal I love the smell of napalm in the morning line and apocalypse now. Um he was in one of the uh Academy Award for Best Actor and for Tender Mercies, and uh yeah, he was in Lonesome Dove as well as Days of Thunder. So yeah, done some stuff. Yeah, and he's always good. So yeah, having that name attached to this script, yeah, gave it some immediate weight. Now he's well into his 90s at this point, but he's he's still he's not dead. Yeah, he's not dead, but still still do the occasional selective role. Very nice, Robert Duval. And a distinct voice. Oh yeah. Yeah. Alright, who else we got?

SPEAKER_16 26:46

Alright, next up I have Garth McCann, played by Michael Cain.

SPEAKER_05 26:51

There were these girls in two long between us.

SPEAKER_16 27:01

Garth is Hubb's witty and calmer brother who balances Hubb's explosive personality with humor, wisdom, and warmth.

SPEAKER_15 27:09

Yeah, I love the counterbalance he provided to Hub. Yeah. Oh yeah. And they were they were played against each other really well. And that that dynamic stayed consistent through all the stories. That you had the the bombastic brother, and then you had the more reserved cerebral brother. Yeah, and so much dry wit.

SPEAKER_16 27:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 27:29

He was clever. Big time, yeah. Um yeah, and while I I think well, I guess the other part, I think what I love about the character of Garth is he's such an impeccable storyteller. Because so much of the story's backstory we get through Garth. Yeah, he he is the emotional center of this movie. Now, to put them both together though, I think what works well with the two of them, partly, I mean largely because they're both really good actors, neither one really overplays the sentiment they bring to the movie. Right. If anything, at times it feels like they almost underplay it a little bit. Absolutely. And and usually when you get two like heavy hitters, they compete with each other on screen. Yeah. And I did not get that at all. I was looking for it. But I didn't get that at all. They were so good together.

SPEAKER_16 28:24

Yeah. They played off each other really well. You know, like I I'm I do wonder how much of this was written and how much of it was them just kind of riffing. Because sometimes they would get on a roll and it was like, man, that's that's just gold right there.

SPEAKER_15 28:39

Right. You know. Right. Now I did hear that Michael Cain was the first to sign on to the project. Okay. And then once he signed on, all the other actors followed. Because they're like, well, if he likes this, well, it's gotta be good. Yeah. Because he's probably done more than I know of, Michael Cain. I mean, he's been around for a long time. He was in the original The Italian job. He was in um Get Carter, the Cider House Rules, which he won an Academy Award for. So already our top three actors each have won Academy Awards, or been uh actually at least nominated, right? At least nominated. So yeah, that they have their star power on this can on this relatively small cast. Mm-hmm. Uh yeah, but but beyond that, he was uh in the newer Batman movies, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, and in Interstellar. Okay, that's where Batman's Alfred knew him. Yeah, Alfred, yeah. Okay. He was also in the prestige. Yeah. Yeah. He done some stuff. Done some stuff. Some heavy stuff. Now he he is officially or he officially announced his retirement from acting in 2023. Uh, but yeah, he uh beyond his acting, he's written books, he's active um uh uh in all kinds of different projects and continues being one of the most instantly recognizable voices in film history. Is he American or is he British? I believe he's British. Yeah, I thought so. Yeah, he's he's a pretty big uh philanthropic guy, too, from what I hear. Oh nice. Does a lot for for others. That's always cool when somebody uses their platform for good. Right, yeah, and not just attention. I like that. All right, who else we got?

SPEAKER_16 30:19

All right, last on my list is Mae Caldwell, played by Kira Sedgwick.

SPEAKER_13 30:25

Maybe if you learn to smile once in a while, then people might like you.

SPEAKER_16 30:28

That's good advice. You know what sucks about what she just said? If you learn how to smile, people might like you. Yeah, not like you better, just they might like you at all. No one likes you.

SPEAKER_15 30:40

Yeah, well, imagine telling your kid that. Right. How out it's all gonna laugh at you. Immediately you can tell that she's a shitty mom. She's sucks as a mom.

SPEAKER_16 30:52

She's terrible. And she is. She's she's Walter's irresponsible and manipulative mother who's constantly chasing questionable schemes and relationships.

SPEAKER_15 31:01

But I gotta say, Kira Sedgwick made you feel every bit of that. Her her job portraying what her character was, she did a fantastic job. She did. The character sucks. Yeah, the character does it, and it was meant to suck. There's an ounce of redemption towards the end. Yeah, maybe. But overall, I mean, her her use of manipulation and guilt as survival tools and the selfishness and her treatment of of Walter, uh there's this whole emotional vacuum that she creates, which the uncles eventually will fill. But yeah, she's shit. She is. And and as an actress, I thought she played the role as what it should have been very, very well. She did, yeah. I mean, you could tell even when she was being manipulative, she did it with this dripping sweetness that that the audience could see through, but nobody else. A child and a son couldn't. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_16 32:06

Yeah. Yeah, you can always tell, like, when when an actor or an actress does such a good job at being the bad guy that you just absolutely can't stand them.

SPEAKER_15 32:15

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_16 32:16

Like, they did a really good job. I agree with you. You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_15 32:19

Other things Kira Sedgwick has been in. Um she was in the closer, the TV show, um, and she not didn't win an Oscar, but she did win both an Emmy and a Golden Globe for that. For that one? Yeah. Nice. Uh, she was in the movie Singles, which cements her into the history of Gen X filmed them. Okay. Uh, she was in Born on the Fourth of July, opposite of Tom Cruise. Was she one of the the like uh one of the girls on New Year's Eve? No, she was the wheelchair. Nice. And she was also in a recurring role in Brooklyn 99.

SPEAKER_16 33:01

Oh, so she does some funny things, dude. She does all kinds of different things. Like, I I've not I remember seeing like commercials for the closer. I never watched it. Um Brooklyn 99, never watched that either.

SPEAKER_15 33:14

I I recommend it. I avoided that for a long time, mainly because a few of the people who told me you need to watch Brooklyn 99, I had I kind of thought their taste in TVs and movies were terrible, but finally watched it and I binged all seasons of it within just like a month. It was worth it. It was good. It was and Andre Brahr as a comedic role. Oh my god. It's a guy who is so uh who plays the captain. Uh yeah, yeah. Okay. He is so such a dramatic actor. I remember him from Glory. Yeah. And just the way he performed as a young actor, almost outperforming Denzel Washington. Uh, and and but to see him in a comedic role instead, which is the only comedy I can think of him in, he's brilliant. Deadpan, but hilarious. Boy, glory. That's another really good movie. That's such a good movie. Yeah. Justin? I didn't see it. Oh maybe, maybe one of these times. Maybe if we all pick like one of the patriotic movies or something for the Fourth of July coming up this summer, maybe that would be a pick. Maybe. Uh but give them hell 54. Sorry. Uh she's still acting in uh TV and film, and she directs and produces as well. Uh and she's been married to Kevin Bacon since 1988. Kevin Bacon. Yeah. So she's Kira Bacon. So she's so she's only one degree away from Kevin Bacon. She is not even. And at moments they're the same degree. Oh. Comes and goes. Oh boy. You know the ins and the outs of it, don't you?

SPEAKER_16 35:06

So can I give a little update on this? No, thanks. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah. I know you drank yours really fast. I did. It was gone before we even got started, pretty much. If you're gonna do this, since it's not carbonated, put it in a glass with some ice. Because it is awful when it gets warm.

SPEAKER_15 35:29

I'm at the very bottom of the can and I just took a swig. And it was so much better when it was like hurt your hand cold. Yes, it needs to be ice cold. Yeah. It needs to be iced tea. Well, on the topic of beverages, what do you guys say we take a moment? Oh, here's that crazy music again. And talk about our next drink of the night. Justin, this one is the one you brought to the table this evening. It is. Tell us all about it.

SPEAKER_16 35:58

Alright, so I went with Urban Chestnut Squirrel Works Hazy IPA.

SPEAKER_15 36:06

Squirrel works. Squirrel. Go figure. Justin brought an IPA. Hazy one, baby. Alright. A whore for hazies. I'm a whore for hazies.

SPEAKER_16 36:15

How is this a fit for the movie? So I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest. I saw this at at Fire Tux a couple of weeks ago, and I was like, man, I'd like to try that one. So you've just been waiting somewhere to shoehorn it in. I was. And you know, I was I hadn't watched the movie yet. Uh, but I asked Chat GPT, I said, hey, is there anybody in this movie that you could say is squirrely?

SPEAKER_14 36:46

Something you bought this before watching the movie.

SPEAKER_16 36:48

I did. Okay. And Chat said, May. May's very squirrely. And I was like, well, there we go. There's my tie-in. There you go. So yeah, I bought it because it's a hazy IPA and I love those. And it just kind of worked because ChatGPT drew the connection. Hey. Right?

SPEAKER_15 37:08

Yeah. Thanks, ChatGPT. So what do you guys think about the beer? I like it.

SPEAKER_16 37:13

I I'm not a hop head. Yep. I like it. You know, I I like this one. It's not my favorite hazy IPA. I think it's almost kind of I don't know if you guys get it or not, but like after you take the drink, and usually like the hazy is a real fruity, like flavorful after, like the aftertaste is flavorful. This one's a little bit on the bland side for me. It it finishes clean, but it's it's it's still enjoyable.

SPEAKER_15 37:42

I would I would buy this one again. Well, this is a smooth, hazy IPA delivering bright tropical notes and an easy, juicy finish. And and I think that juiciness and the tropicalness balances out the bitterness quite well. I I find that a lot of hazy IPAs in particular use a lot of adjectives that don't really land home on my palate. In this case, I they all do. This is a a bright, tropical, easy, juicy, hazy. All those things. All those things. And you know, this is this is uh a dangerous beer. It is. I I would I would buy I would buy this. Yeah, I would buy this and drink it again. That's a big compliment. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's that's a big uh compliment there on your uh IPA picture.

SPEAKER_16 38:29

No kidding. Holy cow. Didn't see that coming. I even sent you a text earlier and I said you're probably gonna hate this. And you're usually right.

SPEAKER_15 38:38

Not today, my friend. Not so fast. Very nice. Oh man, we got a good night going tonight. Feeling pretty proud right now. Uh-oh, I have the third pick. I'm gonna kill it. I'm gonna ruin it. I'm gonna ruin the mode.

SPEAKER_16 38:51

No, no, no, no. Don't say that, Brian.

SPEAKER_15 38:54

I believe in you and your choice. Okay, my choice is a little outside the box. We'll get there when we get there. Okay. Thank you. All right. All right. Well, what do you guys say? We jump into the nitty-gritty of secondhand lines. Let's do. Well, we start off with um a biplane flying through the sky. Yeah. And under an overpass past a police car. Going like 120. Yeah. And waking up of a sleeping policeman. Uh the plane we find is is being flown by, you know, fairly recklessly by two elderly men. Yeah. Hub and Garth. And Garth. Um what do you think hub's short for? Hubert? Yo, that's I didn't even think about that. I'm gonna go with Hubert. I think Hubert makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_16 39:44

Hub is a great nickname.

SPEAKER_15 39:46

Hub is awesome.

SPEAKER_16 39:48

Hub. Hubcap. Maybe he just stole a bunch of hubcaps and his real name's like Steven. Bartholomew. Bartholomew and Garth. Bartholomew and Gartholomew.

SPEAKER_15 40:05

Is Garth short for anything? Gartholomew. Gartholomew? Well, that's a mouthful. Especially after a few beers. Uh-huh. But we go from this scene to um a flashback in time. So we go back to where the bulk of the story of this movie is to. Well, after we see the airplane. Oh, yeah, there's a phone call. Yeah, it cuts to a gentleman who appears to be a cartoonist. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_16 40:36

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_15 40:37

Sitting in his desk slash studio, and the phone rings. Yep. And uh I thought you were I was weird. I don't have that. I don't have that. And I think with such conviction. I was just going to the next page of buttons. And it was it was the sheriff calling the cartoon artist to letting him know that there was an incident. Yep. Yep. And then we cut to the So the entire movie's a flashback. Yeah. It is. So it goes from like they flashbacks with a flashback within the flashback. Oh, this is Tarantino day. So meta. Uh anyway, so we yeah, we cut back to some point earlier than this point, uh, where we have Walter and his irresponsible mother May uh driving along the road, and and May is informing Walter that he's gonna spend the summer with his uncles and is at their remote Texas farm for the summer, so she can attend a secretarial school in Houston with the guy she just met at the bar the night before. Yeah, that that really tells you about her character right away. Hey, yeah, she's uh she's kind of a bitch. Yeah, and uh yeah, so she's just gonna drop him off and uh she's gonna go that because this guy has is gonna open the door for her. Oh, get into school to send this court reporting school. And that's gonna set their life. I mean, she's gonna get a good job and a new path, and and but hey, by the way, you're gonna stay with these eccentric uncles that you've never met. That you've never met. They disappeared 40 years ago. No one knows where they went, but they just returned to Texas, and rumor has it they have a shit ton of money.

SPEAKER_13 42:24

Now look, they say these two old men got millions stashed away in cash. Nobody knows where they got it. Got no kids, no one to leave all that money to. You and me, we're as close as any family they got.

SPEAKER_03 42:42

You want them to like me so they'll die and leave us their money?

SPEAKER_15 42:47

Yep, that's it. Yeah, that's pretty much nail on a head. That's right. That's her motive. Well, but they they they pull down the lane to where the uncles live, and there are signs warning of explosives, loose rabid dogs, and radiation. They they clearly do not want any visitors, family included. My favorite is the one that says turn back now. Yeah, they're not they're not subtle about it. No. Uh when they get there, they get out of the car, and then they go find the uncles who are are fishing with shotguns in the pond. Um, and and I gotta say, they are less than enthusiastic to have family visiting. Oh, big time. Yeah. They just want to be left alone. They don't even know who May is. No, let alone who May's son is. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you played the clip earlier. When May walks up, uh Hub says, Do you order a hooker?

SPEAKER_16 43:39

And I do. You said they just want to be left alone. And I loved it. That was one of the lines, we're old, damn it, leave us alone.

SPEAKER_15 43:48

And, you know, May's basically telling him, like, oh, well, I need to leave this kid with the enemy. We don't hear these all the conversation. We hear little tidbits. We hear him basically say things like, Well, he's a weenie. Yeah, so so Walter, the the young boy, is sitting on the front porch while May talks to the uncles and hears stuff about him that is wholly derogatory. Now, when I watched this scene, there was another movie scene that came to mind. That was Forrest Gump, where young Forrest is sitting out on the porch while his mom is reeling the school principal in order to get him into school. Right. Yeah. What would have been the more uncomfortable thing to overhear? Your mom fucking a principal or your mom arguing with these old men and them saying how you're a weenie.

SPEAKER_16 44:37

I think the old guy's calling me a weenie because I know they're talking about me being the weenie. Forrest was probably at the age where he had no idea what was going on.

SPEAKER_15 44:48

You know what I mean? Like I don't know. His response to that scene where he was making the animal grunting noises that the principal mocking him for the noises he made, but does he know what those noises mean?

SPEAKER_16 44:59

Maybe. I don't know.

SPEAKER_15 45:00

I don't know. I think they both suck. I mean, neither one of them helps you grow into a strong, confident adult. They're both things you'll probably talk to a therapist later about. Right. Definitely. Um, anyway. So Walt May leaves. Walter's now stuck here with two curmudgeonly old men who don't seem to really want him there, but they'll accept the fact he's there for some reason. And at first they just kind of ignore him. Yeah. And they basically say it's like, well, he's gonna have to cook his own food and all this, and they're not they don't want to do anything with him. And I love whenever they they send Walter off to sleep in the tower, uh, they basically make it clear that they they don't really care at this point.

SPEAKER_05 45:47

We don't know nothing about kids. So if you need something, find it yourself.

SPEAKER_04 45:55

We're both getting old. Fixing to die anytime. So um if we kick off in the middle of the night, you're on your own.

SPEAKER_15 46:07

I mean, talking talk about brutal honesty. I think that's how I'm gonna start saying goodnight to my daughter every night. There you go. That's awesome. There you go.

SPEAKER_16 46:14

I'm old. Now, did you notice when he was sitting on the forge that there was a pig that came up to him and he called it nice doggy? No, I think yeah, I saw I saw that.

SPEAKER_15 46:26

Like, what year are we in at this point of the movie? All the cars look like they're from the 50s, so probably I'm gonna guess maybe in the 60s.

SPEAKER_16 46:37

Okay. So, like any kid should know the difference between a pig and a dog, right?

SPEAKER_15 46:43

Like, yeah, but the pig ran around with the dogs. And the pig kind of acted like a dog. Not that he thought it was but he was what, like 13? Right, but not that he thought it was a a dog and not a pig. I think he just called it a dog because it hung out with the other dogs.

SPEAKER_16 46:58

Nice doggy. Like just like, oh, you're great. Good, good pig. Right? Good pig, come on. I just know that.

SPEAKER_15 47:04

That was a weird little thing. Yeah. Anyway. Uh while he's up in the tower, um, he finds a bed covered in dust. No one's clearly been in this room for years. Or if they have, they've not really done anything to clean the place up. Right. But he does find that there's a chest uh that intrigues him, and he finds the key to open it, and inside he finds sand. Yeah. And under the sand there's a frame picture of a woman. Yeah. A beautiful woman. Yeah. And while while he's kind of checking this out, he hears some sounds from outside, and so he checks outside the window, and he's because he's startled by the sounds that he hears. And so he looks outside, and he finds Uncle Hub sleepwalking in the front yard. Um with a plunger. Yeah. And where he's seemingly uh reenacting a sword fight wearing his nightgown.

SPEAKER_16 48:01

The nightgown killed me. Such a manly man wearing a nightgown.

SPEAKER_14 48:07

He he made it.

SPEAKER_16 48:08

I mean, he really pulled off the looks of it. But isn't that funny though? That like that's what men used to wear. And they're like these big, strong, strapping, manly men. And they wear nightgown. Night gown. It's a gown for you to sleep in.

SPEAKER_15 48:22

I also kind of wonder, this is Texas in the summer. That seemed like a lot of clothing to be wearing at night in a house without air conditioning. Yeah. As a kid, I've spent summers in Texas. Yeah. I slept in my underoos. I mean, that's see, my first thought is more my tidy wide is the box. My thought is a guy like Hub, he'd probably be sleeping in the buff. Right? Could be. Yeah. But no, he sleeps in a manly nightgown. I mean, it's gonna have been a whole different scene if he was out there sword fighting with a plunger naked. Yeah, that's a different movie. What was he sword fighting with? A plunger. No, really? A plunger? Well, I mean, we can really want to take this a different level. We could. Oh, I got a great plunger joke. Yeah? Yeah, but I'm not gonna say it on the air.

unknown 49:08

All right.

SPEAKER_15 49:09

Just because you kind of brought up this line of thought in my head, I gotta bring something up. So my family and I were on vacation. I was last week. But we stopped at this gas station, the Busy Bee, which in many ways was similar to like a Wally's or a Bucky's, where it was like the friggin' everything in this gas station. They had this crazy candy section, though. Every candy you could ever imagine. Including what had to have been a two and a half foot long gummy worm, which looked a lot like something else. Like a double dong. Yes, it did.

SPEAKER_16 49:49

Did you buy one?

SPEAKER_15 49:53

It wouldn't have fit in my suitcase. Is that what you call your butt? But it but his wife, but his wife, his, but his wife bought two. No, just kidding. I know her, and she's smarter than that. She knows she only needs one. Oh, it's almost leaving on the couch after this episode of his love. Anyway, uh, yeah, so I don't know why I brought that up. Just popped in my head. Um, I just don't know why someone made that kind of candy. I bet somebody has bought it and used it for that purpose. I assume so. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_16 50:32

Yeah. Could you imagine though? Like somebody smacking you in the face with that. Like full swing smacking you in the face with it. Before or after, or during? Uh before. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it would hurt.

SPEAKER_15 50:45

Oh, yeah. At least it wouldn't really. It would. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Slippery little sucker. Yeah, absolutely. Anywho. Uh yeah. So so Hub is sleepwalking and doing things. And uh Walter then falls asleep outside watching this all happen. Um next day, um while they're at breakfast, you know, they're having eggs and bacon and sausage. Yep. And Walter looks out the window and sees there's a pig with a chicken riding on his back. And I think he realizes, you know, has an instant lesson about the food chain and where food comes from. Yeah, that that chicken comes from chickens. Yeah. And uh sausage. And pork comes from peas. The dog. Right. Non-left people have looked their food in the eyes. Yeah, I I've been told you can't name it. If you name it, you can't eat it. That's true. Yeah. Which I think is a lesson that comes somewhat into play later in the movie. I think so. Anywho, um, but while they're there, um, or while they're still on the farm, um more family shows up, shifting near to Wells, clearly angling for Garth and Hubb's money. Um, and they're they're more than a bit aggressive towards Walter.

SPEAKER_09 52:10

We know what you're up to. And don't think you're gonna get away with it.

SPEAKER_15 52:16

And they try to convince the uncles to get rid of him. And and Walter really hasn't put the pieces of this puzzle together yet. No. So he's just kind of like, what the hell are you talking about? Right. You're a dick just to be a dick. Right? But but he overhears the the father of this near-to-well piece of shit family, basically telling the uncles, you should just send the boy to an orphanage. And so Walter runs off. He does. He books it out of there. He books it out of there. He's done for a scump style. He did gump it out of there. Yeah, he did, yeah. Trucked it to a nearby gas station where he finds a payphone, and he tries to call his mom at the secretarial school that she claimed to be heading to, but lo and behold, she's not there.

SPEAKER_00 53:04

No, I'm sorry. Dave Calloway? Donna Dumco?

unknown 53:12

Young man.

SPEAKER_16 53:12

She's got a lot of names.

SPEAKER_00 53:15

She's gotta be there. She just started. Our classes started back in January. No one could have possibly just started.

SPEAKER_16 53:26

All snap. So here's the thing. Like, and I know this is a movie, right? But mom's such a piece of shit. Oh, super piece of shit. And she's lied about going there in the first place. Uh-huh. How did he get this number? It's not like she gave it to him and said, hey, call me this number anytime. Information. 411, baby.

SPEAKER_14 53:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 53:43

411? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_15 53:45

Yeah. Can I get the uh can I get the phone number for the Houston secretary reporting? It was in Houston? I don't know where it was, but I mean you could. Somewhere in Texas. We we talked about this in a previous episode. You can get all kinds of information. I thought this was information. I thought it was further away.

SPEAKER_16 54:04

But I could be wrong.

SPEAKER_15 54:06

It was in Texas.

SPEAKER_16 54:06

Was it? Yeah. Okay. Alright. Yeah. So seems like a pretty dumb kid to be able to figure that out, though.

SPEAKER_15 54:14

Yeah, so so he's missing his mom. His uncles are weird. Um, he got accused of something from a ne'er do well relative. Yeah. And he bolts, and now he just finds out that his mom had lied to him. Yeah, big time. Oh boy. Life sucks for this kid. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, he's ran off. Um the uncles, along with uh the douchebag, whatever the guy is, they they finally find him at the gas station. And um you know the uncleside. This is the first time you see Hart from the Uncle. Yeah, you do, and you see from Garth first. Uh not initially as much. So much. Because uh at this initially, you know, when they find him, Walter's looking at a map and says that he wants to go to Montana. And he wants to Aerial Code 406 or whatever he says, Montana. Yeah. And it's apparently a map he probably just pulled out of a phone book from the looks of it. Because he's been in an orphanage and he doesn't want to go back. He doesn't want to go back. And uh, you know, when he initially says, I've been in an orphanage before, hub's response is, well, it's not our fault you have a crappy mom. A lousy damn mother. Yeah. And which brutally honest. Absolutely. But but uh you see Garth kind of give Hub that dirty look, like, shut your damn mouth. And and Garth is much smarter about the situation. Like, well, if you're gonna go there, you need a better map. And we got really good maps back at the house. And so he's starting to already kind of get Walter on board, but then he's smart because he tells Hub, you know what, if nothing else, because what's his nuts family member who's all pissed off is sitting in the car cell and he's honking the horn, like, let's get a move on. Garth is smart enough to tell Hubs like if nothing else, he would annoy the crap out of all these gold-digging family members to keep him. Garth is a smart dude. We should keep him just to piss them off. And if nothing else, maybe it'll keep them away a little bit for a little while. He knows how to play both sides. He does. And so, you know, Garth is the brains, hub is the brawn. Yeah, and I don't know whether it was just from the softening, like maybe it was some common sense kicking, or was just from the personal opportunistic idea of not having to deal with these family members, hub's on board. Yeah. And so they keep Walter just to piss off the rest of the family.

SPEAKER_16 56:52

Right, right.

SPEAKER_15 56:54

And smart. And sure enough, next day, or at some point, because this family who has just showed up says we're sticking around for the weekend, uh, while they're still there, a salesman shows up. Now, now there's been a prior to this, we we've seen how these brothers handle salesmen with shotguns. With shotguns. Yeah, someone shows up wanting to sell Bibles, they shoot at them. Someone shows up wanting to sell knives, they shoot at him. Someone wants to show up selling time air timeshares, they shoot at him. But this particular salesman has something that actually intrigues them. Yeah. A skeet throwing machine. Uh-huh. Because, and what a what a smart salesman. Oh, he comes out, he's waving the white flag, and he's dodging shown up before and got shot at. And he's like, What do I sell people who's sitting on the porch with shotguns? Yeah, it's a ski machine. Skeet machine. He's got it, he's been towing it behind the car. He shows them how it works. The brothers are intrigued, and these near-to-well gold-digging family members, this this the woman matriarch of the family is like, you don't need that. Yeah, they don't want them to spend any of their money because they want the money. And that alone is enough to make the brothers say, we want it. Well, but in fact, we would probably have bought 12. Right. Now, that salesman, have you do you recognize the salesman? I recognize him, but I have no clue who we're from. So the I recognized him, and it was one of those, it wasn't even the face right away, it was the voice. But the actor who plays that salesman is Adrian Pazdar. He was on the TV show Heroes, and he was also in a movie that I know that you've watched like a thousand times, Brian. What's that? He was in Top Gun. He was Chipper. Chipper, yes, whose most notable contribution to Top Gun was at graduation. He was the guy that leaned over to Sundown, and he's like, Where's Maverick?

SPEAKER_06 58:53

Oh, that's the guy.

SPEAKER_14 58:54

That's it.

SPEAKER_15 58:55

That was it. But from that one contribution of that movie, and this is this is something that really sticks this is the fact that sticks most in my mind about Adrian Pazdar. Is um so when Heroes came out, it was a big phenomenon. I was flipping through the channels not long after Heroes was big, and I saw Top Gun was was coming on. And you know, on all back then you see the the the show or the movie, and then you'd see like the two or three actors who was you know each of them, yeah, yeah. Top gun, and the first name Adrian Adrian Pazdar. Crazy. Yeah, so at the at some point he was top billing for Top Gun, even though he only has two lines of dialogue. Good for him. Yeah, but but he can tell his grandchildren he was in Top Gun. He was in Top Gun, he's the guy that said, Where's Maverick? Hey, where's Maverick? And he also sold a skeet machine to uh Michael Cain and Robert Duvall. Oh man, that guy's got a star-studded career. No doubt. Yeah, but but the the skeet machine, it is the tool that's I think really starts to cement those bonds. Yeah, it gives the kid a purpose. Yeah, he's the the skeet launcher with his his homemade headphones or earmuffs. Right. Look like potholders duct taped to his head. Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 1:00:20

But I also like that it was Walter that told him, he's like, what else are you gonna spend your money on? Which also pissed off the the other family members, but they were like kind of looked at each other, like, yeah, we got all this money. What else are we gonna do with it? You know, like it was almost like Walter's like now like introducing fun. Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_15 1:00:38

In fact, I think he says, What's the use of having all that money if you never spend it? Right. Yeah, exactly. And so yeah, it it was a nice stab in the back of all these shit-stained family members who are sitting there on the front porch chasing their money, but also a chance for the the the three of them to kind of grow closer together. I tell you, there's there's no better friends than a common enemy. Right, yeah, oh yeah. So so they start to earn some respect, and the bond starts to grow. And and so the next time Walter finds Hubb sleepwalking, it's a chance for him and Garth to connect because as he's about ready to to to wake, as as Walter's about ready to wake Hub up, Garth stops him and just tells him, Don't, you don't want to wake him up.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:29

Well, a man's body may grow old, but inside, and still be as young and restless as ever.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:50

He's looking for something.

SPEAKER_16 1:01:59

Alright, so in that in that moment, I like the way that Garth talks about Hub because he's like, there's a lot of admiration there. You know, like he really looked up to Hub. Even though he I don't I can't say they ever really got him out of like Garth didn't ever save his ass or anything like that, but like Hubb was kind of his hero.

SPEAKER_15 1:02:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 1:02:22

And you could tell just by the way he talked about him.

SPEAKER_15 1:02:25

It was a sweet moment. And we start to get a little bit of the backstory. So Garth, sitting next to Walt by the fire, starts to open up about their story of when they were young men and how Hub wanted to go off to Europe and brought Garth with him. And right when they got there, World War I broke out. And so they were staying one step ahead of the Germans, and they were doing this and having a wonderful time and enjoying time with twins in Toulon and so on and so forth. But then after one night of drinking a bit too much, they got Shanghai's into the French Foreign Legion and found themselves in Northern Africa fighting a war as soldiers. And you know, we also learned that that during this time, um, you know, Hub basically became a one-man wrecking crew. Yeah, saved his he saved uh Garth's life on multiple occasions and and it showed some examples. And I I really like the flashbacks to these stories. Because it was almost almost third person. It was almost like he was telling the story as the flashback was happening. Yes. So this is where the points where we were talking about before the movie largely is a flashback, but but then we have flashbacks within the flashback. Yeah. And I I like the fact that there is a different style to the flashbacks within the flashback. Because because they they're they are slightly cartoonish, yeah. And but but they have that kind of different look and different feel and slightly faster pace. Almost like storytelling. Kind of. Yeah. Like I don't want to say fairy tale-ish, but almost. They're they're tall talish. Yeah. Uh-huh. And um, you know, we don't know for certain how much of this was real or how much of this is just old man fantasy, but but we're brought in and we're shown these things that that supposedly happened. And and we were told that, you know, following up following the the war, hub became uh you know, he was busting up the slave trade in northern Africa, and we're told that Garth was a safari guide, and and you know, all in all, I gotta say, things seem to be kind of connecting. Walter is filling in some of the background of his uncles. That yeah, these these these guys did some stuff. And he's he's impressed. Yeah. And so he he's enjoying learning about this when Hub wakes up and he looks at the two of them is like, what are you doing out here in the middle of the night? It's late. Yeah, go to bed. You should be in bed. But but we move on and we we we see the bonding continues because they they start digging up a garden. And you know, Garth is like, this is what you'll do, this is what you do when you're retired. You garden. So well, it's garden. We're gonna make a garden. And they're just doing it together, and and um Garth even gets some matching clothes because this is what gardeners wear. Yeah. Uh, and they're out there working on the garden whenever a new delivery comes to the farm. And and you know, we're not not told what it is. No. The title of the movie kind of gives it away. But we see we see a giraffe. We see a giraffe on this truck coming across over the top of the tree line. And so the truck's pulling up, and so so Walter goes to check it out and wants to see what it is, and and then the the uncles come out now, dressed in they've they've ditched their gardening clothes, they've they've changed into their their uh hunting gear. They're These guys are like they play from the Art Wine Gardener playbook for burbs because they got an outfit for Goddamn everything. Yeah, that's a great comp. And so they're out there ready. They know what's being delivered. And it turns out uh they're dropping off a lion.

SPEAKER_16 1:06:17

And I love that that like it all started with the skeet shooting. Uh-huh. And he talked them into buying that. And now they're just buying like their a lion. And like, you know, just like all this crazy shit that they're now buying. Because what else are you going to do with that line?

SPEAKER_15 1:06:33

Okay. I want to talk logistically here. Because whenever Walter first gets there, he asks, like, when they're sitting out the porch drinking their iced tea. He asks, like, will I be able to, if my mom calls, will I be able to hear it from out here? And they're like, got no phone. Right. How did they order a lion? Catalog. Meal order catalogs? Yeah. Right letter? You know, and I was thinking like the because I thought about that at length too. It was not only the traveling salesman coming out, uh-huh, but I'm sure they had a catalog and they just wrote letters and and mailed shit off. But there was also the general store that they went to later.

SPEAKER_16 1:07:11

Like right after this. Yeah. To get lion chow. The Purina Lion Chow. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was funny. So I don't know if it was just like a hub for them and maybe they had a phone and they would be like, hey, I need to order myself a lion. Maybe.

SPEAKER_15 1:07:24

But what a weird thing to tell somebody you want to order. But anyway, so so they've ordered this lion with the intent to hunt the lion. Right. And Walter's not particularly excited about this.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:39

When I give the word, police.

SPEAKER_15 1:07:58

Chill as could be. Uh-huh. Hey.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:01

Come on out of there. Hey. You and the crate.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:06

Get your line butt out of there. Soffle tame. This line's no good.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:17

It's it's defective. It's alive, that's the main thing.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:24

We'll go ahead and shoot it in.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:25

No, I wouldn't be spoiled shooting inside a crate.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:27

Well, that's fair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:28

Looks kind of old.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:31

What like them? Some kind of line hunt this is. Perfect. A reject. Some sick zoo cast one.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:42

So can I keep it? I'll look after him and take care of him and feed him and everything.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:49

I've never had a pet up a very yoke before. So, kid, you want to take care of it? Nurse it back to health? Good. Then we shoot it.

SPEAKER_15 1:09:02

Now there's a couple things in that moment that I want to touch base on. Uh-huh. The voice cracking. The voice cracking is number one. But number two, I didn't realize it until after watching the full movie. Mm-hmm. How much this was a little snippet of what the full story of their brothers actually was. About how this was a lion trapped in a box, not getting to be themselves. And how really this was just an analog. It was a metaphor for the brothers' existence. Oh, definitely. Old and kind of a shamble of what it was, but you don't know it at the time. You only put those pieces of the puzzle together afterwards. Yeah. I didn't put that together at all. But I appreciate you telling me about it. Because it makes sense. Um, yeah, and so my my favorite line before they had Walter open the crate, Hub tells Garth this is he's so excited to haunt a lion. He's like, This is the best idea you've had yet. Because they're standing there in full-blown safari gear, rifles armed and ready, and this box opens and nothing happens. Right. It builds the tension. But but there's also whenever when a hub says it wouldn't be sporting to kill it in the box, I think that's also, again, it's it's a perfect metaphor for Hub's mentality. Like he does not want to die of old age. Right. He doesn't want to die in a box. No. He wants to go out in a ball of glory. He wants. They use the phrase a couple times in the movie. The first time, later with the lion. With the boots on. Went out with their boots on. Right. Yep. So yeah, he wants he's willing to give this lion a chance. And so they're willing to let Walter adopt the lion. Now, Walter does something here that I don't know if he's does it as in a strategic way, or whether he just it just is dumb luck. But he has learned through the stories that that Garth has told him that there is a woman. And he he found out the woman's name. Which was Jasmine. And that's what Walter names the lion. Oh, that pissed Hub off. Oh, it said on the wrong name and I don't even know if Hubb knows that Walter knows. But Walter knows. And so he chooses to name the lion Jasmine, which as we talked about before, you first of all you don't name things you're gonna kill. Right. And and I thought this too. He named it Jasmine, so he couldn't kill it. Hubb wouldn't be able to shoot it. Right. And so that's the way I don't do you was it a strategic move or did he just genuinely like the name? I think it was a strategic move to not shoot the lion. But it's debatable. I don't know. See, I would like to believe it was a strategic move. I don't know if Walter was smart enough to do that. You know, Walter had zero self-confidence and he was a wuss. But he wasn't dumb. Okay. So I I thought he did that on purpose so that he could keep his pet. I I would have liked if that's what they did, if we would have got at least a s like a sly look between him and Garth or something. Right. But we got nothing. No. Because even just that a tiny tinge would have been enough to sell it for me that that he meant to do that. A little wrinkle of the eye from you know a garth or a wink or a head nod. Something of like, I see what you did there, and I like it. You're playing a dangerous game, but I want to see where this is going to go. But I mean, but I mean I bought my tickets, I'm getting my popcorn. Uh yeah, so now there's a lion on the farm. In a crate. Yeah, and and you know they've got to now feed the lion. So they go to the the local feed store, as we mentioned, and and they they load up on Purina Lion Chow. As there is such a thing. I heard this was a little injection of humor. I don't I don't think that you can go to your local grain and feed store and order a lion chow. Well, they go. I gotta say, even the the reaction of the guy at the store, I think would have been, yeah, I think he said something like, I haven't seen anyone order this in years. I would have rather heard him say, I didn't even know they made this or something. Right. But right, he said something I've been working here for 40 years. Ain't nobody ever ordered this. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I I think I would have rather seen him like have a uh you know hammer at a deal with a local farmer to have a side of beef or something, but yeah, apparently Lion Chow. Lion Chow. Lion Chow. And you know, they want they offer to help him load it up the truck, but Hub's like, no, I got this. And so he loads the truck entirely by himself and then immediately pound bags, and then immediately collapses. Yep. Uh so they have to take him to the hospital. And so while uh Garth and Walter are sitting in the hospital waiting for Hub to get his medical attention, Garth tells Walter more of the backstory.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:26

Flashback, what's in a flashback? One day, hub was riding his horse along a med training. When out of nowhere, another rider came up alongside. Well, you know, hub, he wasn't about leather challenge pass, it became a race. Unique to me, there's a race in the two horses collided, the riders went flying into sea. Hug left his feet ready for anything. For so he thought.

SPEAKER_15 1:15:22

So he thought.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:32

This was the princess, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

SPEAKER_15 1:15:40

One of my favorite lines coming up. Jasmine. Oh, it was just after that. What was it? Where he talks about true love? Do tell. Oh, he says, I don't remember exactly where he says, uh this was one of those moments that never happens, but it did. Where when you see somebody for the first time and it's true love. Oh, the love at first sight. Yeah, love at first sight. That's it, yeah. Truly love at first sight, yeah. Yeah, we didn't list the the actors who played the younger versions of Hub and Garth when we talked earlier. Fun fact, I had to look this up. You know their names? Uh yeah, there's uh Christian Kane who plays Hub and Kevin Haberer that plays Garth. Okay, I looked up to see if Christian Kane was related to Michael Kane. Okay. He's not. Okay. But when I saw that name come across, I never spelt the same. No, no, when I saw that name come across, I was like, so you thought a guy whose last name was K-A-N-E was related to a guy whose last name was C-A-I-N-E? Because he would change it so he wouldn't ride that coattails.

SPEAKER_16 1:16:54

I thought Younghub. Do you remember the episode of Ted Lasso when Ted Lasso got real drunk? Yeah. His hair was real long on the front, and it looked like a I thought it. I thought Younghub looked like drunk Ted Lasso.

SPEAKER_15 1:17:08

My favorite thing about the flashbacks within the flashbacks, you know, that the flashbacks are the storytelling. Minimal dialogue. Yeah. Very little. It was it was mostly narration. Yeah. And the dialogue that was there was just echoing the narration. Right. Right. I thought that was it added to the storytelling theme. Yeah. Yeah. I thought the feel of those and even just the acting, again, it was a little bit more cartoonish, but it was it worked. Yeah, a little more over the top, a little cartoonish. But yeah, as you're telling a story and you embellish parts of it, those things stand out. And that really stood out in shooting these story flashbacks. But but through this particular flashback, we we Garth is telling Walter that Hubb and Jasmine actually fell in love and got married and lived happily ever after. But but Walter now is like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. Tap the brakes here, Garth. What the fuck? Because if they live for happily, why isn't she here now? Right. Where is she? Uh, but before Garth can explain, Walter checks himself out of the hospital in his own befitting style, yeah, tossing a bedpan across the hall along with a tray of whatever. And it's like, he's like, fuck this noise, I'm leaving. And he's not exactly happy with either Garth or Walter for putting him there in the first place. Right. Um now the normal thought would be if I was just in the hospital, you should maybe, maybe it's time to at least go home and rest. Have a lie down. Yeah. Take a little nap. Right. Chill a bit. We're going to the fucking bar.

unknown 1:18:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 1:18:43

Hub's like, nope, we're going to the diner, and he's in the mood for barbecue. So they they head to the local bar and he's having a beer and eating some ribs. When uh a car full of disrespectful youths enter the scene and uh insist on that that Hub share his meal. Share his meal with them. How's the barbecue here? Give me a taste. And he reaches over to grab his food. And Hub takes a bit of an exception with that.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:12

What did you say? Here's a perfect example of what I've been talking about. Since this boy was suckling on his mama's tit, he's been given everything but discipline. And now his idea of courage and manhood is to get together with a bunch of punk friends and ride around irritating folks. Too good natured to put a stop to it.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:33

Hey, who do you think you are, huh?

SPEAKER_05 1:19:37

Just dumb kid, huh? Don't kill him.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:44

Hug McCann. I fought in two wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I seen the headwaters of the Nile and tribes and natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes, killed many men, and loved only one woman with a passion of flea like you could never begin to understand.

SPEAKER_15 1:20:09

Damn. That's who I am. That's a great little solution.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:16

Show these old bastards, Tom. Get out your knife. Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 1:20:23

There's my gun.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:24

You're fixing to let those teenage hormones get you into world trouble.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:30

Damn it, Garth. Did I ask you to butt in? Oh, you just come out of the hospital. Yeah. There's uh there's only four of them.

SPEAKER_15 1:20:43

Okay. I loved this scene. It was amazing. For a lot of different reasons. And one you may not guess, it gave Hubb back his huspa. Oh, yeah. You know, Hub had a heart attack. He was in the hospital. He's afraid of dying. This is the end of the road. Oh, but now you can roll his sleeves up and he's got a fight on his hands. No, yeah. And he really comes alive. And he's like, there's only four of them.

unknown 1:21:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 1:21:11

And even when he does start to go to work, you know, they tell the the first punk, you're gonna want that knife. And then he disarms him quickly and he's like, all right, no, you did it wrong. Here's the technique you should. So he's teaching him while he's also kicking his ass. Right. I thought it was And then he kicks his three other friends' ass, and you see him being tossed out of the bar. And and you know, hub is in full command. And so it doesn't matter what whether the backstory we've been given up to this point or not is real or not, in this moment, hub is a badass. Yeah, he is a badass. He is an action hero. Uh-huh. And what I what I love most about this, though, is not this scene, it's actually the scene that follows. Because all those near-to-well douchebag family members who were on the porch a few scenes prior, basically trying to line up from for handouts, found out somehow that Hub was in the hospital. Right. So they go to the hospital. But but he's not there. Initially they think, oh, will he kick the bucket? Oh, we're halfway there. But no, no, he's he's just left. So they go to the house instead, but you know, no one's there yet. So they're just waiting. Now, Walter and and and and and uh Garth show up, but hub's not with him at first, right? And then Garth shows up driving in the car full of punks driving them because none of them are in shape to drive. Right. And uh and then immediately the first thing they do is they gotta go get stakes for for the the youth, the punks for their faces. But before I guess I got ahead of myself, but because before everyone got back to the farm, and when it was just the near doel douchebag family and their shit bag kids, the shitbag kids ran off and let the tiger let the lion out of line. Yep, because they suck. Yeah, they're they're idiots. Now, no one's been back to the farm yet, even with the with the lion chow.

SPEAKER_16 1:23:15

Didn't one of those kids say something like let's go tear stuff up?

SPEAKER_15 1:23:20

Yeah, it's like what what what's that what's that box? Let's break it. Right, yeah. Yeah, what the fuck? These kids are asses. Shit stained pieces of shit. Uh just like their mommy and daddy. Yeah, absolutely. The apple doesn't fall far. So there's a lion loose on the farm, and everybody's there. And whenever the whenever whenever the the kid runs like, there's a lion, mom starts smacking them around saying, I told you, I told you about those lies. And so whenever ever whenever Garth and Hub learn that the lion is loose, everyone the Nair do well shitty family members and young punks included go into the house, come out armed with rifles. Right, come out with a weapon. And but but Walter is has run off to look for Jasmine, the lion, and and finds it in the cornfield. Um and they he's you know just playing with the lion. But but this whole group sees lion sees Walter go into the into the cornfield with the lion, and they think the lion is gonna eat Walter. He's gonna attacking them, but no, they're just playing. They're just having a good time. Yeah. And so so the the armed posse, fully armed, all go in, shitty family members, including shitty kids included, um, and they find that Jasmine, the lion, is just playing with Walter. Yeah. And then, if for no other reason than just to piss off their money-grubbing relatives and their shitty kids, Walter and Hubb say, we're keeping the lion. And that's that's the end of those shitty people. That that runs off the shitty relatives. And then they invite the punks to stay for dinner. Yeah. Yeah, they take the meat off their face. What are we having and cook it? Meat. Lots of it. Um Garth tells Walter more of Uncle Hubb's time in Africa, how Hubb and Jasmine were deeply in love, and how there was a chic who had it out for Hubb and sent assassins after him, and and how, with the help of Garth, they managed to outsmart the Sheik, swindling him out of a fortune of gold, and gaining Hubb's freedom from pursuit.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:50

We fought against incredible odds, and when it was over, we split up. Each one knew what the other had to do.

SPEAKER_16 1:25:58

Was this the dungeon of 1387 tortures? Yes, it was.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:02

In his opulent depth chamber, the sheik slept. He awoke with Hub's sword across his throat. The sheep was terrified, but Hub just lowered his blade. Defend yourself, Hub cried. And he threw the sheep a sword.

SPEAKER_15 1:26:40

Massive sword fight ensues. Yep, if you can't hear it. Because Justin always says fighting sounds like what? It's just sex. This one's metallic sex.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:59

The sheik knew that he would surely die now, without even the right to beg for mercy.

SPEAKER_15 1:27:08

Unless he let Hubb go. Without pursuit. Hub let him go. Oh yeah, Hub let him go. He let him survive, but only exchange, you gotta leave me be. Yeah, he said, uh twice I've had your life in my hands and I've let you go. Yep. The third time, I will not. Yeah, he was a badass. He was a badass. Holy cow. And okay, before this, the whole scheme of how they got the money was there was a bounty on Hub's head. And he got turned into the chic for the money. And Walter was like, Who would turn him in? And Garth says, I would. So they they concocted this ruse where the brother turned him in and got all the gold, and then they Escaped. Yep. And so he had he saved his brother at the same time of getting all the gold from the Sheik for the reward. That was pretty funny. Right. That that's how he was outsmarted. But but and and I love there's a little addendum here. You know, it just so but you know, it probably helped that they discovered oil in the the country, not there long after, and then you know the sheik was probably just too busy being wealthy, right? And Walter's like, what do you mean the bad guy got rich? Like, yeah, he got real rich, but he never bothered hub again. And you know, we don't hear much more to hear anything more here about what happened to Jasmine. Right. Other than that they were free to to be in love. Yeah. Um, back in the the, I don't even know what to call it, I guess the the main flashback timeline. Um the farm, the old farm. Yeah, a a truck shows up with uh parts of an airplane in the back. Yeah. Which uh Hub, again, because the brothers are now spending their money and having a little fun, Hub decided to buy an airplane in pieces uh with plans to put together and learn how to fly it. But he doesn't even know how to fly. He doesn't, but he has there's a manual, which apparently is all you need. Oh, it is. I mean you pull back on the stick and you go. Hey, if you can learn how to drive a Ford Mustang by reading the instruction manual in in uh twins, right? Yeah, why couldn't you learn how to fly a plane by reading the instruction manual? It's moving it's not that hard, is it, Brian?

SPEAKER_14 1:29:29

Yeah, dang him.

SPEAKER_15 1:29:32

Oh, he's a headbutt of the mic. It's a little harder than push pulling back and pushing forward. A little bit, just a little bit. I'm sure. Just a smidge? There's so many buttons, but not on the plane that they bought. Yeah, yeah. Old biplane from World War One era. Old Barnstormer. Yeah, a cool plane. Yeah, yeah. Um, I I've had a chance to fly in a biplane before. Yeah, how'd you like it? I loved it. It's fun, yeah, it's a lot of fun. Hey, did he take you up, twist you around? We we did a little twisty turn up there. That's cool. Uh I highly recommend if you ever get the chance. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't throw up, did you? I I'm glad I had my brown pants. Uh anyway. Uh but the both Garth and Walter are a little concerned about this choice. Seems a little dangerous. They they think Walter bought the plane. Or Hub. Sorry, yeah, Hub. Hub bought the plane to go out with a bang. Which I think is what he did. I think so. Late at night, uh, Walter again finds Hub standing by the pond uh in his nightgown in the Texas heat. Uh and he finally gets the nerve to actually wake Hub up. And once he does, he he asks about Jasmine. So before this, there was a conversation between Walter and Garth. When Walter asked Garth, tell me about Jasmine. What happened to Jasmine? And he says, I'm not gonna tell you, you're gonna have to ask Hub. Yeah. And then he tells him, and you better make it quick. Yeah. Because at this point, Hub's in a fast track to check it out. Yeah. Check out. So, so yes. So Walter wakes up Hub in the middle of the night uh while he's out there standing in his in his nightgown. And once Hub's awake and is past the point of being startled and possibly stabbing somebody, um, Walter asks, what happened to Jasmine? And and we learn that she died in childbirth, and that after that, hub went back to fighting with the Foreign Legion. And, you know, they they share a bit of a moment. Um and during this time, Hubb shares a portion of his famous speech. His famous becoming of age speech. Yeah. A speech that he gave to the young punks a few scenes before, and and now he's gonna give a portion of it to Walter.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:13

Those stories about Africa. About you. They're true, aren't they? Doesn't matter. It does too. Around my mom, all I hear is lies. I don't know what to believe in.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:31

Damn, if you want to believe in something, then believe it. Just because something isn't true, that's no reason you can't believe it. Sounds like you need to hear a piece of it. Peace. Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things that a man needs to believe in the most. People are basically good. Honor, courage, and virtue mean everything. Power and money, money and power mean nothing. Good always triumphs over evil. Love. True love never dies. Remember that boy.

SPEAKER_15 1:33:29

That's a good speech.

SPEAKER_16 1:33:31

It's a good speech. I like it.

SPEAKER_15 1:33:33

I can't argue with any of that. Oh, and he delivers it so well. Mm-hmm. And it's only a portion of the speech that he he gives. And Walter's like, you have to give the rest of it to me at some point. Like, I need you to not die before you give that to me. Yeah. And and Walter is is very uh putting on the line I and very emphatically, don't do anything stupid to kill yourself. I need you. We need you. What would happen to you if you weren't here? Garth would miss you, I would miss you, the pigs would miss you, the lion would miss you. And I think it really hits Hub in the field. I agree. It and I'll talk about this in my closing uh comments, but Hub finally again gets a purpose. Exactly. Yeah. And they hug. And and I think this is the moment where they finally actually become a family. I agree. Yeah, it's kind of the turn. Hubb's been a bit of a reluctant participant up to this point. I think Garth's been in for a while. Yeah. But Hub's kind of just been going along and just seeing Walter as a means to the end. He's seen Walter as just someone to entertain him for a little bit and keep the douchebags away. It until then, Hubb's growth with Walter is just being less annoyed. Yeah. Yeah. He made the comment at one point. Well, at least he's quiet. Right. I wish I could say at the same time. Uh, but no, so so they are now a unit. They're they're a true family. We see them harvesting and eating their corn. Um they're they're fishing together, still with shotguns. Right. But but they're doing it together in a boat. Uh they're they're really kind of a true family. And you know, but late one night, Walter sees Garth walking out to the barn with a with a kerosene lamp, and Walter decides to follow him. And he goes out and he discovers the spot where the old men have been hiding their money. Yeah. And it's a lot. A lot of money. It is a pretty good stash of cash. It's an underground trove of full of cash. Now, did you notice something? We brought this up in an earlier episode. This is back in the time where some of those sacks of money were $500 bills. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They used to print those. They used to make those. You know, I'm not keeping it in my barn. Like, I'm just not. Like that. There's barns are flammable. Yeah. And also it's underground. It is underground. It's underground, but like, you know, it's covered with wood, which is flammable. And if that wood drops, it's all gonna set on fire.

SPEAKER_16 1:36:29

It's away from your house, too. Like, you don't sleep in the barn. Like, and you're out in this remote area, somebody could just like pull up and in the middle of the night and check your barn, you know?

SPEAKER_15 1:36:40

Like, yeah, but but they have a guard wall. They and they have they have all those dogs. Do have dogs, but radiation. But all those dogs didn't wake people up later. No, they sure didn't. But you're right, yeah. What a strange place to keep it in the main house. What a strange place to keep obviously millions of dollars. No dogs. Well, they were eccentric. Yeah. This is what eccentric people do. They welcome the challenge. And almost as if on cue, we soon have the return of May. Mom's back. Mom's back. And she's got a new greedy douchebag boyfriend, Stan, who claims to be a police officer. Private investigator. And from Las Vegas. Yeah. Now she was supposed to be going to school in somewhere in Texas, but somehow found out her way out to Las Vegas. I'm not a geographer. I don't think she drove the right direction. I think she missed the mark. Yeah. Yet another line. She made a wrong turn in Albuquerque. Literally. Yeah, so so Stan um is claiming that he's got proof that Hub and Garth are ruthless bank robbers. And that he believes that they stole their money and that they are wealthy outlaws.

SPEAKER_13 1:38:09

Walter, I bet you found out where your uncles had all that money, huh?

SPEAKER_03 1:38:14

Why do you want to know?

SPEAKER_10 1:38:17

Walter. Your uncles matched the description of two bank robbers from the twenties and thirties. No, you're wrong. When Mae told me about them, I got copies of the reports and I showed them to her. They used shotguns, they wore disguises, they stole all that money. And they shot people. Innocent people.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:38

No, not them. It can't be. Dan knows what he's talking about, honey. But what about Jasmine? Shit, Uncle Hubbard.

SPEAKER_10 1:38:47

I have a picture. Honey, wasn't Jasmine the woman who was driving the getaway car? Right. Oh, Jasmine. She was wounded. And they just drove off. And left her for dead.

SPEAKER_15 1:39:05

I hate this guy. Such a dick. Oh, and it gets worse. He's a super dick. Okay, I've got multiple levels of why I hate him. First off, just the way he talks. Yeah. I'm not sure what the heck. It's like a weird mix of Chicago mob slash continental. Right. Like it's it's like, you know, that old timey it's a wonderful life way of speaking. Uh-huh. Yep, it sure is. Listen here, see? It's a Kakamami story, eh? I'm a private investigator. Let's take the trolley downtown. It's the bee's knees. Yeah, and but I can't stand that. And then just how hard he is selling us. We got proof. They matched the description, but they wore masks. Right. Come on now. But for a kid, well, you may you may buy that line, you know, hook line and see he had a badge. Well, and and there was a moment while the while, and this probably is would have also weighed on Walter's mind because there was a moment when when Hubb was in the hospital where there was some Karen of a lady over. It's like, hey boy, are you with those McCann brothers? Rumor has it. They were hitmen from Al Capone. Yeah. The townsfolk. I mean, the rumors going on about these guys. And the fact that, you know, Walter has been down in the treasure trove, and it wasn't bars of gold or gold coins that were down there. It was dollar bills. And sacks. Might resonate a bit with this story. He even says out loud to the to the dog, does this money look stolen to you? But I think there's something about the speech that Hub gave him that outweighs all of this. Agree. It doesn't believe what matter if you believe it or you know, whether it's true or not, it's if you believe. But you believe. And I think that he's come to realize, even in this moment, my mom's a piece of shit. Mm-hmm. These old cranks have been good to me. You know when he figured out his mom's a piece of shit? Remember when mom sent him a letter? Oh yeah. Forgot about that. And he started reading it and he read the first line. And the first line is that I'm at secretarial school. After he already knew she wasn't. Well, actually, no, first line is, have you found your uncle's money yet? Right. I'm here at secretarial school. Bullshit. And it was a two-page letter, and after those two lines, he folded it up, put it away, and didn't read anymore. Yeah. That to me was the turning, the turn as far as, you know, she's my mom and I love her because she's my mom. But I don't like her. No. But Stan is really, you know, trying to put the muscle on Walter. Hey, let's take a man-to-man walk, he says. Yeah. And so as soon as they're out of eyes uh eyesight or eye line of May, man, Stan shows unabashedly. He's a piece of shit. Punched him in the stomach.

SPEAKER_10 1:42:18

I'll let you and me get something straight.

SPEAKER_15 1:42:20

Listen, see?

SPEAKER_10 1:42:23

I've had a run of crummy luck lately. Some bad people who want to cause a lot of trouble for me. I need that money and I know it's close.

SPEAKER_15 1:42:30

Like Dick Tracy. Right.

SPEAKER_10 1:42:32

I'll be damned. So the snot-nosed kid is gonna stand in my way.

SPEAKER_15 1:42:35

I'll be damned, eh? Listen here. Now, yeah, so he punches Walter in the gut. Now Walter makes an escape, and he's making a run for it, but but Stan catches up to him. Well, before that, you know, he's like, after he gets punched in the stomach, he's like, Are you gonna help me find this money or not? You know? And then Walter looks at him and he says the line from the stories of his uncles, defend yourself. Yeah, that's right. Then he kicks him in the nuts. And then he makes a bolt for it, and he's running. Stan does catch up, but but unfortunately for Stan, lions are faster than douchebags. They are. And so uh Jasmine the lion tackles Stan and starts to maul him. Yeah, Jasmine sees Stan beating the shit out of Walter, and oh, Jasmine doesn't like that. No, and so so Jasmine takes care of business um and then dies. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:39

Look.

SPEAKER_15 1:43:40

She died with her boots on.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:42

I think she's smiling.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:46

I guess she died happy.

SPEAKER_15 1:43:48

I would love to talk about this while the lion is still on top of Stan.

SPEAKER_16 1:43:52

Right, they're the boots, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:53

Taking her cup.

SPEAKER_16 1:43:54

You know what's funny is like Stan just got mauled by a lion, but he's not making any noise. No, they're just talking. It was a real lion, wasn't she? And the lion is on top of them. Right.

SPEAKER_15 1:44:04

And they're like, there's a lot of blood. Well, how heavy is a lioness?

SPEAKER_16 1:44:08

A real jungle lion. I'd have to like maybe a hundred? Okay, more.

SPEAKER_15 1:44:14

Three, four hundred at least? I don't know about three or four. I'd say at least like two eighty. Okay, but so if you had 280 pounds sitting on top of your chest and you just got mauled, are you gonna have the wind capacity to be saying anything yourself?

SPEAKER_16 1:44:26

I feel like you'd be like, uh But you didn't even hear that though, you know? Like I'm not saying it wasn't like, hey guys, help me. But I mean like no groans or anything. Hey God's help. It'd be more like a mauled by that.

SPEAKER_15 1:44:42

Hey there, fellas. I just got me a bit of catch-catch fever. Why don't you manage these wounds for me, baby?

SPEAKER_16 1:44:52

But like I was waiting for him to be like, I thought he was dead too.

SPEAKER_15 1:44:55

Yeah, I thought so too at first too, yeah. That would have been yeah, great. But no. That would have been great because he was such a piece of shit. Let me ask, what do you think those uncles would have done if he was dead? I assume they would have just like made him disappear. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 1:45:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 1:45:12

Yeah, they would have covered it up. Yeah, definitely. Probably then would have killed his mom. No, but she would have been like, oh, that would have been that would have been scarring probably to Walter.

SPEAKER_15 1:45:21

I don't see it. I'm not saying they wouldn't, but they wouldn't have done it in front of him. Right. Oh, of course. But but they knew that May was such a flake. Yeah. She wouldn't tell anybody. They could have probably paid her off at like 10 grand and she walked away. Let's go a little further down the deep line. Let's say that they did one off May. Okay. And they're not going to do it on the farm. All right. Because they don't want to traumatize Walter because they've built a bond at this point. So I'm going to assume one of them is probably going to get in a car with May and do it off property. Which of the brothers do you think would do it? I think Garth would. I'm thinking Garth. Garth is the brains. Hubb is the brawn. Yeah, hub is impulsive. I think Garth is smart. I think Garth is Garth is calculating. I think he's still cold. Yeah. I think Garth, yeah, would it would have snuffed May off property and then disposed of the car and vehicle, and they would have called and would have said, Your mom decides she had to go somewhere. And Walter would have believed it because she was a piece of shit. Right. Because she dropped her off there and left before. Oh, she's going to executive secretary school. She's driving Stan back to Las Vegas. And then he can get a phone call or something saying they've decided they're moving to Vancouver. Right. There's been an accident. Yes. Right. Your mom's been mauled by a lion. So the lion is dead. The lion's dead. And uh the turd is all scratched up from the lion attack. Yeah. So May mom has apparently has taken Stan off to be, or Stan, the douchebag, has been sent off to the hospital for treatment. And eventually May comes back to the farm with Stan all wrapped up like a mummy in the front seat. I thought that was hilarious. To retrieve Walter. And um, you know, they initially say, you know, you know, Walter doesn't deserve to be around a guy like that. It's gonna and and and May's like, I understand. No, he won't be. And we're gonna we're just dropping him off. Just dropping him off. And so eventually, you know, Walter doesn't want to, but you know, he has to. And so he gets his mom. So he gets in the car and they start to drive away. And the uncles, hub and garth, clearly, you know, they make it very clear they wish they could keep Walter. They even talk about can we call, can we, can we fight this? Is there some way we can we can sue for for custody? Maybe she'll sell them to us. And uh they realize there's no nothing they can do, and so they gotta let him go. And so as they're driving away, you know, mom is talking to Walter about how they're going to go to Las Vegas and gonna start a life. And and Walter's like, well, I thought we were just dropping off. And and mom's like, No, we're gonna, you know, we're gonna get married. He's gonna need he's gonna need some looking at lots of help. And so Walter, you know, he's been seeing as he's been driving away, he's been staring back at the back window and seeing the signs, and uh, you know, and he's he he's haired enough, and so he fucking barrel rolls out of the car. He jumps out of the car. He jumps out of the moving car. Yeah, good on him, and starts to make a bolt for back to the farm. And and May stops the car and she goes, stop and she shouts for him, and they they talk on the on the bridge. And Walter, he he grows a pear and he makes a stand for himself.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:51

You're still burying him after everything. Oh, he's not so bad.

SPEAKER_15 1:48:55

He's not so bad.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:56

A little rough around the edges, but he can change he's a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:01

He says he loves me.

SPEAKER_15 1:49:03

Bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:04

Has he hit you yet? Mind your own business.

SPEAKER_15 1:49:07

Which means yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:10

You always think a new boyfriend solves everything. But you always pick losers, and he's the worst of them all. Maybe you don't.

SPEAKER_08 1:49:43

Do something for me. For once.

SPEAKER_16 1:49:49

Bam, right in the heart strips.

SPEAKER_08 1:49:51

Do something that's best for me.

SPEAKER_16 1:49:54

God, what an awful thing for a kid to have to say to his mom.

SPEAKER_15 1:49:58

The best thing you can do for me. Let me go. So Hub and Garth resume their perch on the porch with shotguns across their lap, waiting for the next salesperson to come on their property. And you can tell they're downtrodden. They're like, well, we're back to life without Walter. Back to what it was. And all of a sudden, Walter comes walking back up, no case in hand. But he's he's tells him. There's some conditions. Yeah, this was awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:44

Okay. If I'm gonna live here, there's gonna be some conditions. One, you two gotta stick around until I'm through with high school at least. Preferably college. You both got responsibilities now. PTA, Boy Scouts, Little League, the works.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:03

Sounds like we don't have much choice.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:07

Two.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:07

I like the trust.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:08

You both gotta take better care of yourselves. More vegetables, less meat.

SPEAKER_05 1:51:14

I wonder if uh traveling salesman sells gold supplies.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:18

And three. No more dangerous stuff. No fighting teenagers, no airplanes. Wait one year. At least till I'm through with college. Maybe longer. What do you expect us to die of?

SPEAKER_15 1:51:30

Old age? And he says, yeah, I do. Yep. And you know what? Hub is loving every minute of it. Because he's got a purpose. He does. And you know, Garth is the emotional center of this movie. But in the end, it was Hub and his reaction to Walter coming back that kind of trumped all that emotional center, and he's the one who needed Walter.

SPEAKER_16 1:52:02

Well, I don't think we touched on it. That Jasmine died during childbirth.

SPEAKER_15 1:52:09

Yeah, right. No, we taught we we mentioned it, but but really even the movie itself didn't make a big thing of it.

SPEAKER_16 1:52:13

It was just kind of just right. And so this is kind of like his chance at having a kid. Yeah. And I think that's why he was so drawn to Walter.

SPEAKER_15 1:52:25

Right? And and why he was so put off at first and guarded. Right. Because he didn't want to have a kid and then lose it. He didn't want the feels. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I totally agree with you. Yeah. And so, yeah. So the resolution is is made. The decision is in in stone. They're going to be a family and they're going to raise Walter. And they're going to stick around and not be crazy, stupid old men. For his sake. For his sake. Yeah. And they're going to be his basically raise him and be his father figures from this point on. And everyone's happy. And then we kind of cut back to Real time. Real time. The flashback's over. Yeah, flashback's over. And we we get back to uh years later, you know, and we we see, you know, Walter's grown up, he's gone to college, they've met their obligations. Mm-hmm. And uh this goes back to that phone call. And so Walter gets that phone call uh letting him know that that something has happened and he needs to come back to the farm. There's been an accident. There's something has happened, and he needs to come back home.

SPEAKER_12 1:53:36

Best I can figure, they were trying to fly through that barn upside down.

SPEAKER_15 1:53:44

We hear that phrase again.

SPEAKER_12 1:53:48

I guess any time a biplane, first world war crashes doing acrobatics, been flown by two 90-year-old men, neither one of them with pilot's licenses. Well, they had a good long run, both of them.

SPEAKER_15 1:54:06

They went out with their boots on. There it is, just like the lion. Yep. Went out with their boots on. Yep. And you know, so they went out the way they wanted to, in a blaze of glory. They did in their own way. The plane upside down bursted of the ball in the middle of the barn. And then a helicopter. Before that, yeah, the sheriff says, Found their will. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right, that's right. It said, leave it all to the kid. Yep. Yep. And bury us into the garden next to that goddamn lion. That stupid lion. Stupid lion, yeah. And then after that, and and Walter, Adult Walter now, is on the verge of laughter and tears. Yeah. And I thought the actor who portrayed Josh Lucas. Yeah. Who portrayed Adult Walter did a really good job of showing joy and sorrow at the same time. Yeah. Because he knew that his uncles went out the way they lived. Now, I recognize that actor. Yeah. He's done a lot of things. He has. And what what I recognize him from was Sweet Home Alabama. Uh-huh. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that's the guy. Yeah, you've seen that, Justin. I sure have. It's a rom com. Of course you've seen it. Of course I have. Yeah. I've seen it a couple of times. It's a good one.

SPEAKER_16 1:55:35

Three, four handful.

SPEAKER_15 1:55:39

Yeah, the uncles went out the way they wanted to. They went out in their own terms, living life to the fullest. After knowing Walter was well on his way as an adult. Yep. Successful adult. Successful cartoonist of some kind. Did you see the name of his uh cartoon? It was uh Hub and Jasmine. No, it was Walter and Jasmine. Walter and Jasmine. Yeah, Walter and Jasmine. Yeah. Kind of kind of like a Calvin and Hobbes feel. Yeah, that's right. Right. Yep. Uh huh. Um, but uh as he's processing all this, a helicopter. A helicopter shows up out of nowhere. Out of nowhere. It comes landing on the farm. Um from the from the looks of the actors, apparently landing right on top of them. Right, right. It's gotta get out of the way. Yeah, I mean, there's a goddamn farm. There's plenty of open land. Just pick a different spot. But anyway, you ever been close to a landing? You ever been close to a helicopter landing? I have. Yeah, it's a little violent. It is. Yeah. Um once it lands, you know, uh Walter sees that there's the the the logo on the side of the plane showing that it's like a clearly a Middle Eastern oil company. Saharan oil company outsteps a wealthy Arab, Arab individual, um and his young son. And we learn that this is the grandson of the Sheik that Hubb and Garth had done battle with decades before. Yep. And that they he had been told all these stories by his grandfather about the Hubb and Garth and these two people the McCann brothers. Yeah, who were worthy adversaries. Yep. The only ones who ever outsmarted him. And he just so happened to be in Houston whenever he heard the news of their passing, and he just had to come and see and pay his respects. Yeah. And along with him, though, is his son. And apparently this there does the legend just goes on and on because everyone knows about the McCann brothers and their crazy antics, their exports.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:51

Oh, the two men from Great Grandfather's Stories, they really lived?

SPEAKER_12 1:57:59

Yeah. They really lived.

SPEAKER_15 1:58:10

And that's the movie! That's the movie. So I think that end scene reinforces that the stories were true. Sure. I had some criticism there. I thought the actor portraying the Sheik's grandson. Eric Balfour is his name. Yeah. Was terrible. I thought this could have been such a better moment, but I thought the acting was a bit wooden here. I thought this entire thing didn't need to be there. I'm kinda with ya. Like it it added to I mean, there was an element of shtickiness to the emotional value of this movie. But like if you and this was the most shticky of the parts.

SPEAKER_16 1:58:58

If you go back to what Hub said, it doesn't matter if it's true or not, it's whether you believe it. Right. So they didn't need this part. No. To reinforce, oh, this was true. These guys were real. Like their stories were real. Because if you, even as the audience, believe that this happened. Then it happened. Then it happened. Yeah. You didn't need confirmation from a sheik's grand and green grand, right?

SPEAKER_15 1:59:25

You know what I mean? Yeah, I I thought this was a little weird. And and I thought for a pretty good movie. I I think the ending could be a little bit more cool.

SPEAKER_16 1:59:41

Yeah. There was nothing. It was it was kind of a it's like they didn't know how to end it. Right, so they did this. And I'm like, and you're right, they didn't need it. They didn't need it at all. No. It could have ended with the the sheriff saying, you know, he died, they died with their boots on. And they're like, he sure did, they sure did. You know, whatever. Like that could have been the end of it.

SPEAKER_15 2:00:01

They died with their boots on. End scene. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was kind of cool. It did reinforce to the audience that those stories were true. Walter already knew they were true. Because that's what he believed. Yeah. The other thing is. Man, I really wanted to hear the rest of that speech. Yeah. No kidding. Yeah. No kidding. Yeah. But yeah, that's the movie. That is the movie. Well, now that we've talked about the movie, yeah, let's talk about. Oh! Beer talk! Another beer! Kinda! Alright, so this was my selection. Now, when Garth and Hub were on the porch drinking their iced tea, they always had a root beer for Walter. They sure did. So my selection was uh not your father's root beer. 5.9% alcohol by volume. See, I I thought you picked it because they were father figures, but not the actual father. So it's not your father's root beer. There's a double meaning here. So the the second one is that one exactly.

unknown 2:01:15

I don't care.

SPEAKER_15 2:01:15

I love this drink. They're not his father. This is good. Yeah. If you've not had not your father's root beer, try it. It's it's creamy, it's root berry, root beer eerie. I don't know. Root beery. Root beery. I think I think that's as good as you can get. Root beerish? I have tried other hard root beers. Uh-huh. Root beers. I've not tried other hard root beers. I have a hard time saying the word root. Anyway, root beers. I've tried many. Every time I see one on a shelf at a liquor store, I will try it. Especially if they have like the where you can pick your own sticks. Yeah, yeah. I will definitely try one or just pick your own single. I will do it just to try it. None have been as good as not your father's. The other ones taste more alcohol-y than root beer. They either taste more alcohol-y or taste more, they're too sweet and sacrony-y. Yeah. This one, oh my goodness, it's so smooth. In fact, I'm on my second bottle of it since we started. Open them up. Justin, what do you think about the Not Your Father's root beer?

SPEAKER_16 2:02:30

I like it in your refrigerator. Mm-hmm. It's like it's an exciting thing for me to see in your refrige. Okay. Because I'm like, ooh, I haven't had that in a year. Sure. I'll have one. Yeah. And then I don't want another.

SPEAKER_15 2:02:48

See, I I will I will follow that thought. It's an exciting thing for me to see in your refrigerator because if it was in my refrigerator, it would already have been drank. Well, my favorite thing is it's not sickening, sickeningly sweet. Ooh, I think it is. You do? It's too sweet for my palate. I mean, it's not as sickeningly sweet as a root beer, a regular one. Yeah? Yeah. I think it's a little bit a little bit muted, but the flavor comes through. It's creamy, full-bodied. Now are either one of you non-hard root beer drinkers. I don't drink them regularly, no. Once in a while I like a hard root beer. Oh, I'm not telling you. Where are you with stand on the soft root beer? Oh, like a soft drink root beer? Yeah. I like it. I've got regular root beer. I've got AW in my my uh garage fridge. I haven't bought one in ever, Bob.

SPEAKER_16 2:03:44

Okay. In ever. Sometimes, like, if the kids are in town and I buy it for them, I'll have like ah root beer. But like, yeah, I don't remember the last time I just drank a root beer.

SPEAKER_15 2:03:57

I I think the root beer is the prince of sodas. Root beer is my soda of choice, except for one thing. What's that? No caffeine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no caffeine root beer. I need a good amount of caffeine to s to survive. So you would like a caffeinated root beer. And there are. They do exist. Barks is a caffeinated root beer. It's a root beer with bite. Yeah, just a little bit. It's just not that good. Right. Um, but a good traditional root beer, oh my goodness, I would drink that all the time. How about like an AW in the frosted mug? That's that's damn delightful. Oh, it is good. Especially when you can go to like an AW restaurant and have it in the frosted mug out of their little tap. Oh, that's delightful. So when when I lived in Altus, Oklahoma, it's in the middle of nowhere. But there was an AW about 12 miles away. And we would go and pile up in Mr. James's truck. He was a horse farmer next door. We'd heck, I was six years old riding the back of his pickup truck. And he would take us into town and we'd go to the AW and get root beer. It was good stuff.

SPEAKER_16 2:05:10

Ooh, I'll tell you what, I'll take it back. So uh high point drive-in. Ooh, yeah, they got a good root frosty. The frosty.

SPEAKER_15 2:05:21

Which is an Excel bottling company root beer.

SPEAKER_16 2:05:24

So every time I would go to High Point, and still to this day, anytime I go to High Point, I will start my beverage selection with a frosty root beer. But then I switch immediately over to like their, you know, zero uh-huh sugar coke or whatever. You're such a health nut. No, it's just it's too sweet. It's just too sweet for me.

SPEAKER_15 2:05:49

Root beer is sweet. I can't drink a bunch of root beer at a time. I love whenever I go places that have or gas stations that have a bit of a craft soda section. I will always grab a root beer, especially if it's one I've never seen before or tried before. Because I they all are are have something different they bring to the table. They do now. I gotta give a shout out to a local root beer maker, and that's Fitz. Oh, Fitz's root beer is pretty strong. Fitz's root beer is Fitz's root beer. Um you ever eaten at Fitz's? Yeah. Any type of good stuff, they have good food, and you can see the bottling happening right there at the restaurant. If you go there on your birthday, you get a free uh float. Oh and their floats are ridiculous. Oh, they are they are ridiculous. It's it would feed a family of four. Yeah, they're they're like Instagram kind of floats that you see in like, oh my god, that's a meal. And they give it to you for free. Yeah, it's like the freaking Ziggy Piggy from uh Bill and Ted's Exile Adventure, but for free. So if you're ever in the St. Louis area, down on Del Mar, go to Fitz's, especially if you have a family, kids will love it. Fitz is sponsor of the show. If only. Yeah. Kaching! I have a feeling we may have already touched on it, but I gotta ask anyway. If you could wave your magic wand and change one thing and one thing only about secondhand lines to make it a better movie, what would it be? Cut the chic scene.

SPEAKER_16 2:07:18

The final chic scene for me. That's it. Just cut it. It made no difference to the movie whatsoever. And I actually think that it kind of ruined the mystery of the movie. I I'm with you.

SPEAKER_15 2:07:32

I I don't always like a movie to end with that open-ended kind of feeling. But I think by putting too neat of a bow on it, this movie kind of fucked itself in the ass. You didn't, I didn't personally did not need to know that this was real. Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 2:07:50

I didn't care. No, it wasn't.

SPEAKER_15 2:07:52

Because the whole movie was predicated on it's what you believe, right? Right. Not what you know. Hobbs whole speech about how what you believe is more important than what you know. Yep. Kind of made it kind of told me all I needed to know. It didn't matter if it was real or not. I believed it was real. So having the com the the the confirmation at the end that it was all real was we didn't need it. So so I'm with you guys. I think the movie should have ended with they went out with their boots on. Boom! That's credits. Yep. Stop. Smiley little look. Yep. Movie over. We the smile with the tears in the eyes. We didn't need to have the whole honestly, you could have even skipped the whole give it all to the kid. I didn't care. I didn't need to know because I don't think he cared. No, the kid didn't care. No. He had his own life. I also wonder whether the the legality of just saying leave it all to the kid would have stood up in court.

SPEAKER_14 2:08:46

Which which kid?

SPEAKER_15 2:08:47

Who's the kid? I'm the kid, said Walter. And I wonder how much was left. I thought the part with a cruise ship and the pond. That was part of this whole chic scene. It's like, well, I see you spent my grandfather's money really well, and they suddenly cut to a giant yacht sitting in this tiny pond. It's like, come on, how'd they even get that? There was this one traveling salesman. I didn't think we needed we needed any of that. That was a waste of time. You know, this is one of the few times I think our magic wands all are in sync.

SPEAKER_16 2:09:23

Yeah. Yeah. We don't do that often. No. But man, the ending of this movie would have been so better.

SPEAKER_15 2:09:30

Was hokey. It was. It was very shticky.

SPEAKER_16 2:09:34

Then, like, he had all this great acting up until that point. Yeah. The kids sucked. Yeah. Horribly. The great grandson, yeah.

SPEAKER_15 2:09:42

Right. So all the stories from great grandpa are true. Right. Oh, shut up and get back in the helicopter. Maybe if Lynn freaking Pelzer would have shown. You know what? And it would have been better if the Sheik's grandson came out of the helicopter? With like a sword and was going for vengeance? With an eye patch. Oh, what if they all had eye patches? The sheik and the in the in the missing eye genetic? Yeah. It is now. In the flashback. The flashback, slashback, the chic that got duped had an eye patch. Yeah. Well, maybe he was just preparing himself for better nighttime combat. Yeah, well, the pirate thing. That's that's what I heard. The pirates kept them for. Well, it's probably when they went below deck, they couldn't. Oh, that's that too. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, we we didn't need confirmation that the stories were true. We didn't we didn't need that. We didn't need that they spent their money on a cruise or a yacht.

SPEAKER_16 2:10:41

You know, as a viewer just watching this for what it was, I didn't ever question if the stories were real or not. Right. You didn't need to. No. It was the movie that you you wrote it for me to watch. Yeah. And I believed it because that's what you wrote. Right. You know what I mean? Like I didn't need somebody to come in in the end and say, oh, that was true. I agree. I enjoyed it for what it was. And I it was good storytelling. I didn't need somebody to come in and put a bow on it.

SPEAKER_15 2:11:13

Right. I'm with you. Alright, well, since we're in agreement for that, maybe it's time we shift some gears and see where things go. Okay. Shift my gear, baby. Oh man. We traded in the funk for some gear. Are you ready here? Is this Lynn ready? I'm ready. Oh yeah. I like this little fan terror action. Alright, gentlemen, it's time for hoping guard the mana for one more adventure. Ooh, but this time, they're not gonna go alone. This time, they have to assemble the league of extraordinary old cracks. Alright! Hey! Somewhere out there! Trouble is brewing. Hips are creaking! Linament is flowing freely! And a team of elderly legends must assemble for one final mission. As a group, we must assemble a squad of aging badasses. From movies and television to join Hub and Garth for one more adventure. Like it. We're talking old warriors, retired lawmen, grizzled mentors, and emotionally unavailable grandpas. So stock up on hard candy and blood pressure medication, boys, because the porch Avengers are assembling. Nice. As a group, okay, we have to fill five roles. Okay. Strategist, specialist, the muscle, a wheel man, and a wild card. Alright. Pulling from characters from TV and film. Alright. Now do they have to still be alive? Well, at the time the characters. Okay. Characters. The characters. Characters never. We're looking for characters of the greatest generation. Okay. Grey-haired, grizzled, badasses. This is awesome. Alright. Alright. So let's start off with strategists. Let's take a moment and let's let's think of some of those characters from TV and film that would be great strategists for our team to support Garth and Hub. Okay. Alright. Alright, the strategist. The smart guy. Now to me, the first thing that came to mind was Hannibal Smith from the A team. That's a good choice. I my first thought was like the old Roger Moore 007.

SPEAKER_16 2:14:51

Okay. Alright, alright. See that. The first thing that popped into my head, and maybe he would fit better in a different category, was the old guy from Home Alone.

SPEAKER_14 2:15:06

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_16 2:15:09

The neighbor.

SPEAKER_15 2:15:09

The neighbor with the shovel. I have no idea what his name is. Yeah, I don't either. Out of the top of my head, I can't either, but but yeah, I know who you're talking about. Shovel Dude from Home Alone. Shovel Man. I don't know if he'd be a strategist, but I think he'd be a good contender for the team, so keep him on in your list. We'll do. We'll do. You know the the guy from 18. Boy, that's a good choice. I'm not sure if Double O seven was really a strategist. Maybe he'd be better in a different role. Okay? Also, it is is it if we're talking about 007 in the 007 movies, do you think he would fit in the Hub and Garth cage bracket? I don't know, because you you have 007 like current, you know, with the you know Daniel Craig and he's still going. But maybe not. Yeah, you might be right. Since he's like an active character. Yeah. And we're and I think we also need to think about the character at the time the the show or movie was on the air. Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 2:16:20

So I'm also now thinking about like Walter Mathau from Grumpy Old Men. Okay. And like one of those guys. I don't remember the other guy's name. I know Walter Mathau. I don't remember the other guy's name, though. It's fine if you're Jack Lemon.

SPEAKER_15 2:16:35

Jack Lemon. Jack Lemon, yeah. Then you had the the grandpa.

SPEAKER_16 2:16:40

There was an older guy in that one.

SPEAKER_15 2:16:45

Take the tuna boat into Schoonatown. Okay, I'm gonna throw another one out for Stratus. Alright, let's do that. Let's talk about um uh now I can't think of his name, but Burgess Meredith's character from Rocky. Oh, the trainer? Yeah. Forget it, Rock. It's over. Another. I don't know. I don't think you can beat the A team there. Okay. Ooh, what about uh uh, what is it?

SPEAKER_16 2:17:19

Meet the parents.

SPEAKER_15 2:17:21

Oh Robert De Nier's character? Yeah. The ex-CIA guy. Yeah, the dad. I like that. Yeah, that's a good one. What's his name? Jack Meoff? Was it Jack Mayhawker? I've got nipples. Can you milk me, Greg?

SPEAKER_16 2:17:43

What about the the dad from the ranch?

SPEAKER_15 2:17:46

Sam Elliott. Yeah. I don't remember his character's name, though. He gives good voice. He does. Bo Bennett. Bo. Yeah. Bo Bennett. Nice. All right. So who do we got for the strategist? I gotta go back. I think I think your idea, the the guy who uh led the A-Team. I I think he's a great strategist. Alright, so we got Hannibal Smith. Hannibal Smith. Hannibal Smith. All right. What a crazy first name and regular last name. Yeah. Alright. So let's move on to the specialist. Someone who brings some special skills to the team. Special skills. Who you guys got? Ooh.

SPEAKER_16 2:18:25

The uh was his name from the burbs.

SPEAKER_15 2:18:31

Oh, you're talking about the the oh the the the guy across the street, the sexfeld. Yeah, Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld. Ooh, I like that. I was thinking MacGyver. MacGyver's not old enough for this team. He is now. We're not talking about now. We're talking about when they were on the character. The character. I do like Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld would be a good one. I'm gonna throw one out from our last movie. What's that? Harold Payne. From Speed. Oh, the the explosive dude. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, he's kind of crazy. He's a little crazy. And what category is this? This is a specialist, but he's a specialist. He sure is. Oh, I think I'm still gonna go to Rumsfeld. Okay. I'm gonna throw one or more out. Yeah, yeah. Um Professor Henry Jones Sr. from Indiana Jones Last Crusade. Indiana Jones' dad. No. No. Okay? Because he he was just along for the ride. I mean, he had his moment with the umbrella on the beach with the birds. But other than that, he was kind of a kind of a whelp. Okay. You want to go uh let's go Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld? Yeah. Rumsfeld. Alright, so Rumsfeld as our specialist. That was a great poll, man. Yeah. Yeah, we'd have way to pull that out from the archive. Alright, let's talk about some muscle. Muscle? Yeah. Who do we got to be our muscle? Badass of the team. Well, anybody from the Expendables. Yeah. Arnold Schwarzenegger. You got Storessa Stallone. They're all old in that movie. That's true.

SPEAKER_16 2:20:15

We do also maybe. Does this is this where the old man from Home Alone fits in?

SPEAKER_15 2:20:21

Ooh, I like that. Beating people with a shovel? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if that he has much muscle. He has a shovel.

SPEAKER_16 2:20:30

And he's willing to hit you in the face with it. Yeah? Or the back of the head, I guess.

SPEAKER_15 2:20:37

He was a bit slight of build. He was. He was kind of frail looking. Yeah. Oh, yeah, his hand bandage and shit. He did. Seth, what do you got? I got Walt Kowalski from Gran Torino. He's got some serious get off my lawn energy, which totally vies with Garth and Hub. Yeah. And he's I mean, straight up badass beyond that. Get off my lawn. You see, I was thinking, same actor. Don't we have a category for the wheel man? Yeah, we do. I was thinking the guy from the mule. Okay. Who's also played by him, who was running the drugs back and forth. Ooh. So I thought he'd be a really good wheel man. Okay. So right now for muscle, we've got Walt Kowalski. We've got the shovel dude from Home Alone. And we got someone we haven't identified from Arnold. Arnold Schwarzenegger from the Expendables. Okay. I mean, that's muscle. That is muscle. That is muscle. Alright. So so I mean, it's hard to beat that. It is hard to beat Arnold. So we'll say Arnold from the Expendable. Whatever his character was. I I never saw it. You guys? I've seen the first one. I haven't seen the other ones. There are more? There are three of them, I believe. Boy, they they were expendable a lot. Okay, so let's move on to the wheel man. So we need someone who's good at getting them to and fro. I've got uh what's his name from the mule? Okay.

SPEAKER_16 2:22:13

I'm thinking about the uh the royal tenant bombs. Oh, Royal Tenenbaum? Uh-huh. Not Royal himself, but his like his manservant? Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 2:22:28

Well, that does really work. He drove him around. But he was older because he's they they've been together for a long time. Uh-huh. What was his name?

SPEAKER_16 2:22:37

I almost kind of thought now that I'm thinking about it, Royal might have been good for the brains of it. He's kind of a schemer. Uh, what was Morgan Freeman in Driving Mustazy? Yeah, yeah, that'd be a good one. I'm trying to drive you to the star.

SPEAKER_15 2:22:54

Pagoda.

SPEAKER_16 2:22:54

Pagoda. Pagoda, yeah. And he'd also stab you. He would with a nail file. He's not just a driver, but he's also gonna stab you.

SPEAKER_15 2:23:07

I I'm gonna throw out Quint from Jaws. I know it's a boat. If we can steer a boat, he can steer a car. You know, I think if they needed a getaway maritime vehicle, I mean it'd be a good choice.

SPEAKER_16 2:23:26

It would be great. Like, because if you can drive a car, it doesn't necessarily mean you can drive a boat. But if you can drive a boat, if you can drive a boat, you can drive a car. Probably. Because you're gonna do both. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 2:23:40

Uh Morgan Freeman's character was Hoke Colburn. Hoke from uh Driving Miss Daisy. Yeah, Walt Kowalski from Grand Serena would also be a good pick here because he has a sweet car. Yeah. The geriatric A team. That's right. I'm kind of I'm I'm kind of liking the Driving Miss Daisy pick. Okay. You know, a little Morgan Freeman action? Anywhere we can fit Morgan Freeman in, I am perfectly okay with. I'm with you. Alright, so Hoke Colburn is our wheel man. Ooh, we need a wild card. Yeah, so now, yeah, we're down to wild card.

SPEAKER_16 2:24:21

How about Christopher Walken, his character in Seven Psychopaths?

SPEAKER_15 2:24:27

That's not pretty wild. I was thinking John Malkovich from Red. Ooh, John Malkovich is cool. Um, I was thinking Red Foreman. Because I really want to get Clarence Bodiker in here somewhere, but he's not old enough. But I think Red Foreman, not from that 70s show, but definitely from that 90s show, is old enough to be in this team. If he's got even a fraction of that Bodiker energy, I think he'd be a good wild card. I don't know. I think he was kind of lazy. Okay.

SPEAKER_16 2:25:08

I never saw that 90s show.

SPEAKER_15 2:25:10

I haven't either, but I'm again, I'm sure that he's gonna at least have a fraction of the Bodiker energy I'm wanting. Oh, uh Ramirez. Yeah. Yeah? Where he was like the Zen guy teaching the sword fighting and all that. I don't really feel like that fits that wild card energy.

SPEAKER_16 2:25:31

I need a little chaos on the team.

SPEAKER_15 2:25:33

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_16 2:25:34

Like I just I picture Christopher walking in that scene where he's got all the guns pointed at him in the middle of the road, and they're like telling him to like uh he's like put your put your hands up, and he's like, no. He's like, I have a gun. He's like, I don't care. He's like, but I don't get it. I have a gun. Too bad. I don't I don't care. Foofy does.

SPEAKER_15 2:26:04

How about RJ Fletcher from UHF? He's a little wild cardy. Yeah, but he's a dick. I feel like wild card's gotta be a little bit of a dick. A little bit, but he's a lot of it. He's a whole lot of dick. Yeah, I think he would I don't know, I think he would complain a lot. He's a good 10-inch dick. I don't know. I think the best choice I've heard is Christopher Walken. Yeah? Yeah. He's got just enough crazy in him. Yeah, he is crazy in that movie, too. And God forbid you pull out a cowbell. He wants more of it. I need more cowbell. What movie was that? Seven Sacopaths? I got a fever, yeah.

SPEAKER_16 2:26:49

That's a great movie. What year was that movie? That was 2012. Ah. I still might choose it at some point.

SPEAKER_15 2:26:58

Have you ever seen the movie Red? Red? I have, yeah. John Malkovich. Uh-huh. Oh, I liked him in that. Yeah? Yeah. I've not seen it. He was crazy. Hans. Christopher Wonken was Hans. Hans.

SPEAKER_16 2:27:11

Hans. Alright, so we've got. I mean, him and his him and his wife went around killing people.

SPEAKER_15 2:27:20

We've got Hannibal Smith as our strategist. Rumsfeld is our specialist. Arnold as muscle. Hoke from uh Drive Mistakes is our weakness. And Han from uh from Seven Psychopaths as our wild card.

SPEAKER_16 2:27:42

Heck yeah.

SPEAKER_15 2:27:42

Okay. That's a pretty strong team. It's not a bad team, but I gotta ask some questions now. Alright. Which old timer would immediately clash with Hubb? Hmm? I think it's gotta either be Rumsfeld or Hahn. I could see Rumsfeld.

SPEAKER_16 2:27:58

Yeah, I can see Rumsfeld clashing with everyone.

SPEAKER_15 2:28:01

Yeah, because Rumsfeld is so full of himself, but also an idiot. Right. And Hub wouldn't stand for that. No. So I think it's Rumsfeld. Okay. I agree with that. Alright, which of our team would survive the longest? I kind of feel like it would be Arnold. Yeah. See, I I'm thinking it's gonna be uh Hoke from Driving Miss Daisy. He's pretty smart. I think he's smart. He's gonna keep his head down. He's gonna stay out of the way and stay out of trouble, and and yeah, you never know. Maybe just head to the piggly wiggly.

SPEAKER_16 2:28:33

Arnold runs straight into the into the fray all the time. And he's a big target. He is a big target. Alright, yeah. Okay. All right. I could see I could see the driver just kind of staying out of the way.

SPEAKER_15 2:28:49

Yeah, I could see that. But Hannibal Smith also, though. I mean, he he loves it when a plan comes together and how many fire fights has he been in and never once got hit. Of course, at the same time, he's not never hit anybody else. Right. He's got a little stormtrooper in him. Mm-hmm. I mean, what he does with his downtime is none of our business. Right, right, right. Oh, hey. Oh, hey. Hey oh. All right. Uh which of our team will accidentally cause the most collateral damage? Uh either Rumsfeld or I gotta go with our Christopher Walken guy. Uh, I think Rumsfeld is a strong contender. But I think Han would intentionally do the most damage.

SPEAKER_16 2:29:36

Yeah. Now, if Arnold was the muscle, isn't he intended to do the most damage?

SPEAKER_15 2:29:42

But this is collateral damage. This is like accidental damage to the people on the things you don't want to damage.

SPEAKER_16 2:29:48

I can see Hans doing that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 2:29:49

Hans. I think he would do it just for shits and gigs. Just to spice things up. Right. Yeah. All right. Which of our characters will spend the whole mission complaining? Oh. Again, Hans. But I would love to hear him complain. Yeah. I don't like this.

SPEAKER_16 2:30:14

It's too hot.

SPEAKER_15 2:30:17

Continental. All right. Which of our team members will deliver the emotional speech right before the finale? I think it's a Hannibal Smith moment.

SPEAKER_16 2:30:32

Could you imagine Arnold giving that speech? We'd understand half of it. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 2:30:40

Who's Hannibal? He's our strategist. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. He he would give the pep talk. I think he would tie things all together. And who is secretly the deadliest member of the group?

SPEAKER_16 2:30:58

Ooh, it's gotta be the driver, right?

SPEAKER_15 2:31:01

Secretly? Yeah. Like he's like a silent assassin. Oh, I think Hoke is a is a stone-cold badass murderer.

SPEAKER_16 2:31:09

Yeah?

SPEAKER_15 2:31:10

Yeah. He's leaving a trail of bodies behind him that nobody knows about. Right.

SPEAKER_16 2:31:14

You wouldn't suspect him whatsoever.

SPEAKER_15 2:31:16

He's just the getaway driver. Yeah. I'm just trying to drive you to the store, Ms. Daisy. Uh-huh. Say the piggly wiggly. Right? As he's got a Beretta 9 pointed at your junk through the door. If after all this was done, there was a drunken brawl amongst the team. Okay. Who wins? Oh, Arnold. Arnold. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty easy. I mean, he's gonna break some hips. With a terrible tagline, cool off. Or, you know, uh flexol 454 for your aching muscles.

SPEAKER_16 2:31:59

Would follow it up with some Ben Gay.

SPEAKER_15 2:32:02

Hand out some worders. Yeah. All right. Well, there you have it! The League of Extraordinary Old Cranks. A highly unstable coalition of retired lawmen, war veterans, government operatives, corpse philosophers, and at least one senior citizen who absolutely should not still have access to explosives. Somehow this team would either save the free world, overthrow a small nation by accident, or get banned from every cracker barrel east of the Mississippi. And honestly, I like their team.

SPEAKER_16 2:34:00

Rest of soul. So I do have to say, yeah, if we're too many beers in at this point, that's a great time for our listeners to chime in and give us their list. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_15 2:34:15

Of who we missed and who would fit those rules better. Oh, because I'm sure we missed a ton. Oh, for sure. Yeah. No doubt. No doubt in my mind. How much you want to bet I could throw a football over the mountains? I had a moment last week on vacation. Yeah. Where I felt like such a piece of shit. Oh, do tell. We were out on the beach. Yeah. And there Oh, how was the view, by the way? It was delightful. Good. Um lots of buns in the sun? There was sun's out, buns out. Yep. And um anyway, we were out on the beach and a football washed up next to us. Yeah. And I saw there was a group of young men who were out amongst the waves. And I I kind of picked up the ball and I I gestured to them, like, hey, is this your ball? And they're like, oh yeah, that's our ball. And I was gonna, I'm like, all right, fine, I'll just throw it out to you. Uh-oh. Oh my god. I didn't even come close. Did you limp it? I I gave it all I got. I didn't even make it halfway there, and then it landed in the water. Oh no. And then the waves washed it back up. And then I had to chase it down as the waves washed it back to the shore to try again. And I didn't even do any better. And then then hey Justin. Uh-huh. Maybe we should have put Seth somewhere in that list of uh extraordinary old cranks. Yeah, no, I wouldn't, I I do not belong on that list because I I had a moment where I'm like, damn. I suck. And then I'm like, you know what? I'm just gonna go sit back in my chair for a while. You know what's great and drink a beer.

SPEAKER_16 2:35:56

What's great is you were on the beach and he had a chair. Yeah. And he had beers. Yep. You know what though? And you're not trying to impress some young guys.

SPEAKER_15 2:36:05

But no, but but he did. But he did. I tried because he went back and he sat down on the beach next to his hot wife, uh-huh, and all those guys out there were like, that's a dude. That's a dude. That's a dude. That's a dude. Yep. So what the dude is going to be. But but he must be hung like a frickin' horse.

SPEAKER_08 2:36:32

So kudos to you.

SPEAKER_15 2:36:34

I will I will toast you with my not your father's root beer times two. I will toast you with my empty cup of hard-charged tea. Well, before we toast with anything else, why don't we do some toasting with some poison? Ooh, poison pigs. It's time to pick some poison. Let's talk about movies from the same year, 2003. Would you rather watch secondhand lions or big fish? I never saw it. I'm gonna go secondhand lions. I'm on big fish. Yeah. I'm gonna go big fish because I haven't seen it. I mean, I I like them both. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Big fish is decent. Alright, secondhand lions or holes. Holes. I I read the book. I didn't see it. I I read the book holes. I didn't think the movie was a great interpretation of the book. So I'll stick with secondhand. Is it buttholes? No. No. Is this a porno? No. No. It's kids. It's a kids' movie. Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, that's it. I'll go secondhand lions. I'll go secondhand also. Second hand lions or school of rock. Oh, school of rock.

SPEAKER_16 2:37:44

School of Rock. School of Rock. That means I was drunk yesterday. That's right.

SPEAKER_15 2:37:50

Second hand lions or Pirates of the Caribbean. The curse of the Black Pearl. I'm gonna go Black Pearl. Black Pearl. I I got a real thing about Johnny Depp. Yeah. That he plays the same character in every single movie. I mean, often. Yeah. I think this movie it works though. Especially because of Natalie Portman. Oh, she's still black smoking. Wait, Natalie Portman is not in that movie. Or not Natalie Portman, who's the Karen Knightley. Karen Iightly, yeah. I get them mixed up all the time. I mean, Natalie Portman's still pretty hot. I mean I'd do I'd I'd do both of them. I'd do them. How about secondhand lions or finding Nemo? I'm gonna go Finding Nemo. Finding Nemo's pretty fun. I like Finding Nemo. Yeah, yeah, I'll go with that. Alright, let's talk about movies with Robert Duvall. Would you rather watch second hand lions or lonesome dove? Lonesome dove. Not seen it, so that's where I'll go. Lonesome Dove. Who plays opposite him? Isn't it uh why do you ask me that question? It's uh what's his name? The guy who was in the fugitive? Oh, uh um Tommy Lee Jones. Tommy Lee Jones, yeah, yeah. That's a great pair there. They're Texas Rangers. TLJ? Yeah, yeah. I love Lonesome Dove. All right. Second hand lions or the Godfather. Second hand lions. Second hand lions. Yeah, I think Godfather's overrated. I agree. Second hand lions or open range. I didn't see it. Open range. Open range is a Kevin Costner epic. I like it. I'll go open range. I'll go Bertney or anything, Kevin Costner. Alright, talk about some films with Michael Cain. Alright. Secondhand Lions or the Italian job. The Italian job is pretty good, but I've not seen the original. I've only seen the remake. Yeah, same. And that was pretty good. I I wouldn't mind going back and seeing his Italian job. I'll see the original. Second hand lines or Batman begins. Which one's Batman Begins? It's the one where he begins. Yeah, the first one.

SPEAKER_16 2:39:57

Yeah, but like where he goes off to like Thailand or something. So it's not. Okay, so it's not Dark Knight. Batman Begins. Wasn't that one real boring? Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 2:40:07

I'm still gonna pick it because Batman movies are fun. Yeah, I'll go Batman Begins. I'll go secondhand. Okay. Second hand lions or the Cider House Rules. Second hand lions. Did not see that one. I don't even know what's it about. It doesn't sound like anything I want to watch. I remember it's something about Princes of Maine. So I heard that it was about a Cider House. And rules. And the rules. The rules of said Cider House. I'll go secondhand lions then. Same. Same. Let's talk about some other movies with some tall tale energy. Would you rather watch Second Hand Lions or The Princess Bride? Ooh. Princess Bride. Princess Bride's good, but I've seen it about a hundred times. I haven't seen it, so I'm gonna go with that one. Yeah, I'll go with Princess Bride.

SPEAKER_16 2:40:52

No, I've not seen it.

SPEAKER_15 2:40:53

You've never seen The Princess Bride? No. How have we been friends this long and me not know that about you?

SPEAKER_14 2:40:59

Hey, hey, hey Justin.

SPEAKER_15 2:41:01

Hey Justin. Justin. Yeah. You want a peanut? A peanut? Uh-huh. I thought you said penis. No, I said peanut. Oh. Because I was gonna say yes. As you wish. Princess Bride. Yeah. Uh second hand lions or oh brother, we're out there. Oh, that's a great one. And I will do that one. I fucking hate that. I love it. I hate that. I love it. Love it. I hate it. So I hate it. Second hand lions. This puts me in a weird spot because I've never seen it. No? No. I love it. George Clooney? George Clooney is. George Clooney sucks. Is he a doctor? No. In this movie? He just talks. Which is all he ever does. He talks. He's a few. Talks, talks, talks. Blah, blah, blah. It's boring. All right, Seth, you win. Second hand lines. It's not boring. It's delightful. It is. Is it black and white? No. It's kind of sepia. Oh, sepia-toned movies? Sepia tone. It sounds too artsy fartsy for me. Second hand lines. Second hand line. Okay, let's talk about some grumpy old men movies. Second hand lines or grumpy old men.

SPEAKER_16 2:42:08

It's been a long time since I've seen Grumpy Old Men. And Walter Mathau reminds me of my grandpa, so I'm gonna go with Grumpy Old Men.

SPEAKER_15 2:42:15

I like Grumpy Old Men. I'm gonna go grumpy old men because it's two guys trying to get laid. Is that what it is? Yeah, pretty much the whole movie is these two old guys trying to get trying to get uh their dicks wet.

SPEAKER_16 2:42:25

Okay, so the last time I watched this, I was very young. I didn't catch on that.

SPEAKER_15 2:42:28

So that's pretty much it. So let's go back to the book. They're both trying two old men trying to nail Anne Margaret. I don't know who she is, but until at that age, I think until Sophia Lorena interstellar. That's the sequel. Yeah, yeah. Ah, grumpy out of wood. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh secondhand lions versus Gran Torino. I've not seen it, so that's where I'm going. I thought Gantorino was slow. I l I liked it in parts. Especially the yum yum part. Yum yum? Yum yum. Yum yum. I'll go second hand. Alright. I'll go Gran Torino. And last secondhand lions or red. I haven't seen red. Oh, I like red. I'm gonna go red. I'll go red. Red's awesome. Red, red, red. You oughta see it. I oughta. Yeah. I oughta. I mean it it's nonstop. It'll it'll it's got uh John Malkovich, it's got uh Morgan Freeman, it's got uh Bruce Willis. It's a fun show. Yeah, yeah, it's good. It's got Bruce the Goose. It's old retired washed up CIA agents coming back together for another ride of glory. Yeah. It's and it's and it's freaking hilarious. Yep. Okay. Yeah. Red. Red, red. Put that down on my palm pilot. All right, guys. Now you'll never fucking see it. You'll never see it. I never will. But you should. Unless it comes on this show. That's that's about it. All right. Well, now that we've picked our poison, uh-huh, we got something else we gotta pick. I think I know. It's not our noses. Ah is it our butts? It's not our wedgies. It's the Bodiker Award!

SPEAKER_09 2:44:09

Clarence Bodticker. You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Fuck you!

SPEAKER_11 2:44:18

Guns, guns, guns. It's time to choose. Who stole the seat and lift the fuse back? Old for just today. The buttiker wore brings the bag. You fly body. Not quite, but a winner.

SPEAKER_15 2:44:42

Well, if you're new to the show, each episode we choose one worthy recipient to receive this prestigious recognition in honor of one of our favorite cinematic characters, Clarence Bodaker from Robocop. It's not an award for the best actor or whoever was on the screen the most, but the character who we think brought the most to the movie. Justin! Yeah, who is your choice for this episode's Bodaker Award?

SPEAKER_16 2:45:14

I nominate Hub McCann. Of course you would. Tell more. He's grumpy, intimidating, weirdly philosophical, secretly emotional, and casually terrifying. Every line sounds like it belongs in a barroom wall plaque.

SPEAKER_15 2:45:35

Alright. Seth. Who's your bodiker? My bodiker choice is Garth McCann. Oh, Garth, brother V brother. That's right, because while Hub gets the explosions, the speeches, the intimidation factor, and the shotgun diplomacy, Garth is the glue. He's the guy quietly holding the emotional center of the movie together while Hub storms around like a retired Viking who accidentally settled in Texas. Garth balances Hub perfectly. He slowly opens Walter up emotionally. He delivers warmth without becoming overly sentimental, and somehow makes every ridiculous story feel believable. And he also brings so much weight to the movie as a whole by being the most kick-ass narrator we could ever hope for in this movie. He tells the story so damn well and brings us along for the ride. I like it. So we've got a hub. We've got a hub and a garth. And a garth. Well, every time Hub is on screen, the movie feels like it expands stories into legends. He owns the film's quiet authority and explosive moments with the don't mess with me demeanor. Basically, Hub. He's a badass. So that's why he's in second place. My vote for the Bonticker, and Seth, you said it exceptionally well. He is the emotional glue of the film. I don't think you know when when when I go with Rubikers in a movie like this, I go with who my personality and who I am, who I relate to the most. And I see more of me and Garth. He is the moral compass of this movie. And he steadies the shit. And Hub is an amazing character, and I love him. But I don't think you have as good a hub without Garth. So he's got my vote for the Bodiker. Garth. Garth, Garth, Garth. Garth. What is that? Garth.

SPEAKER_04 2:47:52

Garth.

SPEAKER_15 2:47:53

Garth McCann, congratulations. You've won the Bodaker for this episode.

SPEAKER_16 2:48:00

You know, I'm not upset about one bit, because there was really only two either way.

SPEAKER_15 2:48:07

I'm just really glad none of you guys picked Walter. No, no. I mean, I think Haley Joel Osmond did a good job. Except for when he talked. He was now Walter was along for the ride in this movie. And he was an integral character. Yeah. But not the best character. There were two other best characters. Absolutely. It's nothing against Haley Joel Osmond. No, not at all. He was just stacked up against two legends of the craft. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_16 2:48:38

I mean, you're gonna look pretty shitty, whoever you are.

SPEAKER_15 2:48:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 2:48:43

Against those guys.

SPEAKER_15 2:48:44

Even though he sees dead people. He has seen he has. He might still, I don't know. With with the sixth sense. Uh-huh. I figured it out when the guy threw the brick through the jewelry store window. Yeah, congrats, fucking lations. I've heard so many people say that. But did you really? Yeah, that was the point where I'm like, how does he do that without any repercussion? And that's when the worm turned for me. Okay. The worm turned. Yeah. I like that. What to twist?

SPEAKER_16 2:49:17

That's how worms turn. They twist.

SPEAKER_15 2:49:20

Well, now that we've picked our Baltiker, we got something else we gotta choose. Uh-oh. Let's talk about our best beer of the night. We got three drinks to choose from. And we're getting strong feelings to kick things off. You know, I liked all three. This is gonna be hard to make them. I actually think this is a strong night from beginning to end. Yep. So I'm just gonna go based on Yeah, Justin, why don't you kick us off with it? I'm gonna go first. I'm gonna go first.

SPEAKER_16 2:49:52

So I am gonna go based solely on what I buy it again. All right. Um even though the tea got better in a glass of ice as it kind of mellowed out, I'm not gonna buy it again. It was fine. And I would drink it if you bought it and brought it. I'll drink it. Okay. Not your father's comes in number two for me because I liked it better, but I can only have one. Sure. And I will not buy a six-pack of it because it would sit forever in my fridge. At least six days. At least. At a minimum six days. So for me, you know, me and my hazies, I'm going with the urban chestnut squirrel works because that I will buy again. All right. I thought it was a pretty good IPA. It it was.

SPEAKER_15 2:50:50

Man. I am not quite a complete flip, but almost. I think the squirrel works for me was number three. Okay. Okay. I think the tea was number two, and I gotta I I just love not your father so damn much. That was my best drink of the night. So damn good. So for me, I really like the tea. It's drinkable, it's refreshing. But there really wasn't anything exciting. So I'm gonna put that as my number three. Now, granted, even though it's my number three, I would probably buy it and drink it again. Yeah. Yeah. Um, my number two, I'm probably gonna go with the hazy. I thought it was I'm not an IPA guy, but it was drinkable. I'm happy that I found one that you do enjoy. It was drinkable and I like drinking it. I finished every drop and I would have another. All right. If I went shopping for beer and saw it in uh in the cooler, I'm like, you know what? That's a good beer. I'm gonna get that. Alright. Now, my number one, obviously the only one left, and it's purely only for the novelty, because I don't drink it enough, and I had forgotten how good and how smooth this not your father's root beer is. I'm having a I'm having a I'm on my second one, and I'm having a blast drinking it. But it's because I don't normally drink it. Uh and it really surprised me how good it was. So I'm gonna go with Not Your Fathers first. Alright. And with that, that meets that puts uh not your father's root beer as our best beer of the episode. Hey gentlemen, did you ever think I'd bring the best beer? I've had such a real- I feel like it's happened before. Yeah, maybe once, but we've done what, like 40 episodes. This is 27. The law of averages means I would have brought the best one once or twice. But uh you see what happens when you don't bring wine coolers? Yeah, I know, right? Things happen. Yeah, so yeah, stepping out of the box, and uh I I'm gonna sleep well tonight, not only because I've had like six beers, uh, but knowing I brought the best beer of the night. Thank you, fellas. Congratulations. All right, thank you. Congratulations. First time for this year.

SPEAKER_16 2:53:17

Yeah, first time.

SPEAKER_15 2:53:20

Well man, I've been in third place forever. Oh ever, Bob. In ever, Bob. Well, let's go ahead and switch over to some final thoughts. All right. Finales. Justin, you want to kick it off?

SPEAKER_16 2:53:39

Oh, sure. Here we go. Secondhand Lions was a great surprise for me. It's heartwarming, funny, adventurous, and just flat out easy to watch. At no point was I checking the clock or wondering when it was going to end. The movie has a comfortable pace that kept me invested the whole time. The acting across the board was pretty solid. Robert Duvall and Michael Kane absolutely carry the movie with pure charisma, and Haley Joe Osmond does a decent job playing Walter's awkward transition from scared kid to confident young man. The only performance that didn't really work for me was the Sheik's great-grandson at the end. Agreed. We all agreed on that. Yep. Honestly, the movie probably could have survived just fine without that whole bit. Visually, the this movie looks fantastic. The set design feels lived in and authentic, and the slight sepia tone over the film gives everything this warm, nostalgic Texas storybook feel that works for the kind of tale they're really telling. The score fits a movie really well too. It supports the emotion and adventure without ever overpowering scenes or screaming for attention. It's one of those soundtracks that quietly does its job effectively.

SPEAKER_15 2:55:06

Because even in the clips of the movie that we played, and you can hear the score in the background, I thought it really drove the movie. Yeah. I thought it was great.

SPEAKER_16 2:55:14

And it was one of those that like you kind of didn't even notice until you noticed it, and you're like, oh, that works. Yeah. Right? It just works. Yeah, thanks for bringing that up. Yeah. So I honestly I don't have much negative to say about the movie at all. Other than maybe Walter looking like a toe face. Which is admittedly a ridiculous nitpick that Haley Joel can't even help. I would watch this movie again, though I doubt I'd pay to watch it again. It's not an insult by any means. I'm just a cheap bastard. If I caught it on TV, I'd stop to watch, but I hope I have two beers in the fridge just because I like beers. Nice. That's it.

SPEAKER_15 2:55:57

So two beers? Two beers for me. I'll go ahead and go ahead and say overall, in purely objective terms, I think this is a pretty good movie. It's well written, well acted, emotionally sincere, and honestly kind of refreshing in how uncynical it is. And it really does make me wonder why Tim McCannleys didn't go on to become a much bigger name after this, because there's clearly real talent behind it. Yeah, I agree with that. The performances are solid. Robert Duvall and Michael Cain have fantastic chemistry. The movie has charm for days, and there are moments in it that genuinely work. But subjectively, I just don't love it. And we're so the weird thing is, I remember watching this movie years ago and thinking my parents absolutely adore this movie. Maybe I'll get it more when I'm older. Well, 23 years later, and honestly, I kind of feel exactly the same way. Maybe if I watch it again in 2049, I'll finally feel differently. But for now, it's just okay. Maybe it's just a bit too sentimental for my tastes. Or maybe I simply lack the proper level of porch wisdom required to fully absorb it. Whatever the cause may be, I'm gonna say I will only watch this movie again if I have five beers in my tummy. Sounds like you need to do a little bit more porch sitting, Seth. Maybe I do. Maybe I do with a with a shotgun across your leg. I get it. Alright, Brian, this was your pick, so finish it up. Alright, so Secondhand Lions is described as a classic storybook adventure wrapped up in a modern coming-of-age film. I didn't see it that way. On the surface, it's about a shy boy spending a summer with two eccentric uncles finding an identity, but by the end, it's really about something bigger. There's something quietly powerful about how this movie handles aging. Hubb and Garth aren't just colorful characters. They feel like men trying to preserve a sense of purpose in a world that's moved on without them. Their stories aren't just entertainment, it's their identity. It's their legacy. And that's why the movie hits harder than I expected. It's not really about childhood adventure. It's about what it means to look back on your life and decide whether or not it mattered. And that answer depends on the story that you tell yourself. For all its humor and exaggeration, secondhand lions ends up being surprisingly grounded in something very real. The need for connection. Walter finds it in a place he never expected, and the uncles, in their own way, get to matter again. You know, I'm a gerontologist. So aging has a bit of a soft spot with me. And I didn't realize that the first time I watched the movie. Watching it this time, it really kind of drove home the point and and it actually kind of hit me in the field a little bit. Not so much the ending, it went along the way about how the stories and about how Walter being there gave them purpose again. And I thought that was pretty pretty powerful. Um because the number one leading cause of death in the aged is not having purpose. So, you know, this kind of kinda hit home in what I do. Um I really liked it. I liked it more the second time than the first time. Although it is a bit shticky, it it is a bit I don't know, they knew it was kind of emotional with the coming of age and the aging thing, and they really rode that hard. And it was a little over the top. Um and I don't think they needed to take it that far. But the idea was great. And I th I think I would enjoy it optimally with three beers. Three beers. Alright.

SPEAKER_16 3:00:37

I like it. I could see in your field how this would hit you a little differently.

SPEAKER_15 3:00:45

Well, it kind of changes your perspective a little bit. Mm-hmm. You know, I I saw it less from Walter's point of view and more from Hubb's point of view.

SPEAKER_16 3:00:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 3:00:54

That, you know, he they needed a reason to hang on. Yeah. Yeah. Not just looking for a way to kill yourself. Hey, the number one the number one killer's retirement. Right, right. Well, with uh with your score, that brings us to an average beer score of three point three three beers to reach peak viewing pleasure. 3.33? I could drink three and a third beers. If we had a two, a three, and a five, that's five divided by three. Well, that's two, three, five. That's ten divided by three. That's three point three three. You're you're good at math. You're you're mathing. Look at that. So he's got a pewter doing it for him. At a three point three three. That puts it in a three-way tie for fourth place of the movies we've watched so far. Who's a tieway? Romancing the stone and pretty woman. Okay. Interesting. Which is uh third of a beer better than behind speed. Okay, I'll gotcha. Third of a beer ahead of Fire in the Sky, The Burbs, and Twins. Now that we've got all that out of the way, let's take a moment and let's just say the makers of this movie, the studio came to us and say, hey, regular guys, we want to make a sequel to Second Hand Lions. Let's let's just say it's called Third Hand Lions. Third hand. Or Second Foot Lions. What do you guys got for us? What ideas do you have? Brian, kick it off. Okay, even though I didn't like the ending, I think the sequel has to involve the Walter as an adult. Yeah. And the grandson of the Sheik. Alright. And so there's mutual respect, yet some animosity. The Sheik wants to come back for his grandfather's money. Ooh. Because he knew that the hub and Garth had swindled and tricked his grandfather for all that gold. And he's due that money. So the chic comes to Texas to try and get that money back. And you know the state of Texas, everyone was carrying. They're like, oh no. So we we've got this uh conflict between the chic and Walter to try and reclaim some of that stolen fortune from the chic.

SPEAKER_16 3:03:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_15 3:03:32

Alright. That's what I got.

SPEAKER_16 3:03:35

So I went in a direction that the like the chic thing didn't happen at the end. Yeah. Which which is good. That's that's where I took it from, right? So Adult Walter discovers that Hubb and Garth secretly owned property overseas connected to their old adventures. Okay. Okay. So while he's settling the estate, he uncovers evidence that maybe, just maybe, the stories were all true. And now he gets to go on all the adventures. He's got the treasure uh the like Q the treasure hunters, the old enemies, and Walter reluctantly becoming the next McCann.

SPEAKER_15 3:04:16

That's pretty cool. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Seth, what do you got? Well, I I would like to actually tie in to Justin's idea. Uh-huh. But I would like to have some more of young Garth and Young Hubb. Uh-huh. So if we could have some parallel actions, maybe some juxtaposition between the action between Walter and young Garth and Young Hub doing their explorations and doing their things, to where basically he gets a chance to develop a deeper understanding of who his uncles were at the same time we get to see his uncles do their thing. That's a cool idea. Now what if what if the story of Jasmine and the child dying in birth weren't true? What if Jasmine died, but but what if the child survived? And so Seth, you could you could go back and have those flashbacks from the the the the kid who did not die in childbirth, and and Walter has another relative over there.

SPEAKER_16 3:05:26

And what if it was raised on the same island that Arnold Schwarzenegger was raised on? Oh man, in twins. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah. And then that's the triplet. Oh somehow by relation of the island.

SPEAKER_15 3:05:44

So then we get Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito in in the movie, too? And this one, the triplet daughter kid, and the whole thing's porn. And then we need a giant gummy worm. So you mean I'm gonna need subtitles on for this movie? I said yes. Oh that's what you have a subtitle. Oh, thank you. Listen here, see the trolley downtown. It's the bee's knee.

SPEAKER_14 3:06:17

It's the casting jam is a Christmas.

SPEAKER_16 3:06:23

I'm probably what?

SPEAKER_15 3:06:25

I don't know.

SPEAKER_16 3:06:26

I need a caption.

SPEAKER_15 3:06:28

I need something else. Well, I could be wrong, but I think that is gonna do it for this episode of the regular guy movie show. Hey Justin. Yeah. You didn't lose a contest today. Did it? Yeah, congratulations.

SPEAKER_16 3:06:50

You know why? Because we didn't have one.

SPEAKER_15 3:06:55

Dreamwork makes the dream work.

SPEAKER_16 3:06:57

I've got the movies and YouTubers.

SPEAKER_15 3:07:03

Well, we survived eccentric uncles, traveling salesman under heavy fire, questionable parenting, line-related property damage, and enough porch wisdom to stock a cracker barrel gift shop for generations. If you enjoyed hanging out with us, make sure to follow, subscribe, leave a review, or just start telling wildly exaggerated stories about your past to random neighborhood kids and refuse to clarify whether any of them are actually true. Eventually, eventually, someone might actually believe you. And if you want to keep the conversation going, hit us up on the socials and tell us what you think about secondhand lions. Did it hold up for you? Did the emotional moment still land? And most importantly, who is your bodiker winner? Thanks for listening. Thanks for drinking along with us, and until next time, be kind, rewind.

SPEAKER_07 3:07:56

The regular guy, movie show, talking flicks. Here we go.

SPEAKER_15 3:08:18

I got a serious answer. Alright, I I love pizza. I love pizza too. Congratulations. I love cheese. Cheese is amazing. I cannot stand stuffed crust pizza. What? I hate it. Why? I don't know. I think the cheese is like rubbery in there. I don't know if they're using the wrong kind of cheese, or maybe I've not had the right stuffed crust pizza. What am I doing wrong? I don't know. It seems right up my alley, but I've not enjoyed it yet. I love stuffed pizza. You do? I do. Where do you get it from? Uh, anywhere. Down knows pizza. Doesn't matter. Really? Yeah. I'll eat it. I have no strong feelings on the matter. I've tried it. I find it's okay, but generally speaking, I'm rather ambivalent. So I'm a little surprised that you have this strong of a feeling. Either way. I see commercials about it all the time. And and they talk about it like it's the next great thing. But I don't think it's great.

SPEAKER_16 3:09:16

You know what I love about it?

SPEAKER_15 3:09:17

What do you love about it?

SPEAKER_16 3:09:18

Because I eat through the triangle of pizza. Yeah. And I get all the toppings and cheese and sauce.

SPEAKER_15 3:09:23

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_16 3:09:24

And I have this cheese-filled breadstick, basically.

SPEAKER_15 3:09:28

Kind of, but it's shitty cheese. Oh, I don't think it is. If you think it's shitty cheese, are you even a cheese fan? Ah man, if it wasn't for cheese, I'd weigh a hundred pounds.

SPEAKER_16 3:09:40

Is there such a thing as bad cheese?

SPEAKER_15 3:09:42

Yes. I don't know. Shut up. Is there such a thing as bad pizza? Yes. I mean, Little Caesar sucks a lot. It does, but it's cheap. I had the pizzeronia with the little cups that catch all the grease. Mm-hmm. It was pretty good, actually.

SPEAKER_16 3:10:04

Let me let me give you a challenge. Yeah. I want you to make your own homemade pizza. Oh, I love making homemade pizza. And make your own homemade stuff crust. Ooh, I've never done that. It's amazing. Do you use like cheese sticks?

SPEAKER_15 3:10:16

You could use just shredded cheese. Alright, I gotta ask you guys. Yeah. Because this is a question my daughter asked me recently. Uh-huh. Why do we eat pepperoni on pizzas but not salami? I've eaten salami on pizza. How is it? It's amazing. Yeah. I've had salami on pizza. And so this is this is what we got standing uh uh standing for our next daddy-daughter dinner date, the next time mom is out of town, uh out on a happy hour or whatever, is that we're gonna get two frozen pizzas. Okay, and we're gonna do one with just pepperoni, and we're gonna do one with pepperoni and salami. Okay, and we're gonna see.

SPEAKER_16 3:10:55

I would forego the pepperoni if you're gonna do that. Yeah, just go.

SPEAKER_15 3:10:59

Pepperoni on one and do salami on the other. You think that's a better control? Yeah.

SPEAKER_16 3:11:03

Yeah, I agree. So you get the taste. There's a definite taste difference.

SPEAKER_15 3:11:07

So, how does a cook on a pizza compare to pepperoni? About the same. Yeah?

SPEAKER_16 3:11:12

Yeah. I mean, I would still cut it, like cut it up. Oh, like in quarters? So the the pieces of salami on the side?

SPEAKER_15 3:11:18

So I should so you're saying like the deli slices that are about three inches, that's too big? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_16 3:11:24

It's gonna turn into salami.

SPEAKER_15 3:11:25

I mean, you could. It's just gonna turn into the cup. Okay. And it's gonna be filled with grease on the outside. I don't I'm not hearing a downside at all. But what if what if what if you sprinkle cheese over the salami? It'll still cup. Well it. Okay. Yeah. What's your guys' favorite pizza from? Where is it from? Where is it from? Yeah. My favorite place to get pizza from?

SPEAKER_16 3:11:46

Right.

SPEAKER_15 3:11:46

Oh. Now, okay. Can you can you specify? Like we only talk about chain restaurants that anyone anywhere would have tried, or do we are we allowed to talk about other places? Now, there's gonna be some esoteric, weird hole in the wall, someplace that has great pizza. Yeah, sure. But a little bit more common than pizza. Okay, so we're we're talking about chain pizza restaurants. Right. Marco's pizza. Marco's never had Marco's. It's freaking delicious. Is it really? They've got the little pepperoni cup. They do. Yeah, you can get them at that. Yeah. Really? Yeah, it's got a good slice, which is kind of sneaky good, is Casey's. Casey's pizza is top notch. They had a they had a brisket pizza with jalapeno. It wasn't bad. It was great. Their breakfast pizza is amazing. I'm I'm a fan of Joe's. I think Joe's pizza's bad. I've not had Joe's. Oh, it's I don't think Joe's Joe's is a local chain thing. It is more of a regional thing. But yeah, no, Casey's I think is a strong play. Where do you stand on the St. Louis style pizza? It's okay. I like it. I used I mean I used to deliver pizza for emos. Right. So I've had more than my fare of St. Louis style. You know, I I like I like Provell. I think it's pretty good. My only issue with St.

SPEAKER_16 3:13:04

Louis style pizza, yeah, is it's on a cracker. It is I can eat an entire large pizza to myself and still be hungry. Yeah. And then that large pizza just cost me $30. Yes. It's a rip off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_15 3:13:18

It's so it's such a rip-off. Yeah, I don't know. I really like pizza. I love pizza. If we're talking the major chains, though, oh man, dominoes is is my go-to.

SPEAKER_16 3:13:30

I go dominoes all the time. You know, I'd rather do dominoes and pizza.

SPEAKER_15 3:13:33

Yeah, I'm with you on the dominoes. I think about three years ago, they really upped their game. It's more than that because they they did a whole commercial campaign rebranding. We kind of sucked. Right, but we're gonna do better now. And they have, I think they really upped their game and have been better ever since. I'm with you. Their stuff grass is good. Really? Maybe I'm gonna try. Maybe I ought to get back on that horse and give it a try. Give it a shot. Maybe next time I come over for a punt. Speaking of which, we still need to bring the radar gun out to time you. Because last episode you said you could run 20 miles an hour. I said I said 15. Oh, I think you also said 20 in there somewhere. I did, but you guys are gonna pace me at 15. That's a lot of miles per hour. Oh, I can do 15. Let's just go out there. I'll drive behind you right now. All right, let's go. I will leave you in the dust. I think I run you over.

SPEAKER_16 3:14:20

I can walk a brisk three miles per hour.

SPEAKER_15 3:14:22

That's that's brisk.

SPEAKER_16 3:14:24

It's brisk, baby. And sustainable for about a mile.

SPEAKER_15 3:14:29

All right. And then I'm done. It's nap time. All I need is 15 miles an hour for like two seconds.

SPEAKER_16 3:14:38

How do you even clock that?

SPEAKER_15 3:14:40

That's what she said. That's a wrap. Hey, Kings to you on that one. That was a good one. That was a good one.